Thread by @TopOfThePots2

Seems like an appropriate time for a re-issue of this particular seasonal classic #rowinglyrics

FAIRYTALE OF BARNES BRIDGE (with apologies to The Pogues)

It was Scullers Head babe
On the Tideway
An old man said to me, please spin around this buoy
And then he told me just
To tap it round on red
I turned my boat away
And checked my gate threads

Got in the tidal stream
Steering just like a dream
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So keep the rate up
I love you baby
I can see our quickest times
When all our dreams come true

They've got tides from all sides
They've got rivers of poo
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the new
When you first booked me in
For a cold Scullers Head
You promised a
Pennant was waiting, you said

You were handsome
You were pretty
On the social committee
When the crew finished erging
You howled out for more
The first eight was jumping,
And the weights they were pumping
We kissed in a corner
Then trained through the night

The buoys on the Fairway’s starboard side
Were warning “Look ahead"
And the yells were ringing out
At Scullers Head

You can’t scull
You can’t steer
You will hit Chiswick Pier
Lying there just afloat in that heap of a boat
You scumbag, you dipshit
You cheap usless fuckwit
Move over you moron
Get off of my line

The buoys on the Fairway’s starboard side
Were warning “Look ahead"
And the yells were ringing out
At Scullers Head

I could have gone and won
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first steered you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my crew around you

The buoys on the Fairway’s starboard side
Were warning “Look ahead"
And the yells were ringing out
At Scullers Head