I know our elderly Aunty June is safe but in some ways that doesn’t make me feel any better. This is a story of being elderly and frail in 2020 1/n
Imagine being a little bit confused but you are aware and work hard at hiding it. You sometimes can’t remember whether it’s morning or afternoon and you obsessively write down car registrations of everyone who comes to see you and peoples telephone numbers. 2/n
Then one day you start to feel very unwell. (It’s COVID19 via a carer). You are so unwell that everything is a blur and you can’t even get up to get a drink. You stop caring about who comes, and time has no meaning 3/n
A stay in hospital makes you feel a bit better but you are so tired - exhausted. Every time you stand up legs give way. Sometimes that happens when you are trying to get to the loo, another time when you thought you heard someone at the door. Each time you press your alarm. 4/n
But even though carers come 4 times a day you are really scared because you can’t stand. Nights/days are blurring together. Throughout all of this haven’t seen your family at all. Everytime carers come to get you off the floor it’s anonymous people u don’t know wearing masks 5/n
Then one day your niece comes and although you are feeling a bit better she explains that it’s not safe for you to stay at home 6/n
You had realised through your confusion that you were vulnerable on your own. The neighbours had seen you banging on the bedroom window shouting ‘help! Help’ and two ladies had stopped to see what they could do 6/n
You have always wanted to stay in your own home. Built for you and husband in 1960’s you want to stay there but you secretly know you are not managing. 6/n
This day your Brice collects your bags and whisks you off to a place you have never been before. You know no one and you don’t recognise the room or anything in it. They all have masks so look very similar and your deafness makes it so hard to hear 7/n
You become increasingly scared and a bit panicky. There is still no one you know and you are not sure where you are. Because your memory isn’t so good and it’s worse when you are anxious you become increasingly distressed. 8/n
You wake up in the night at 4 am and get out of bed and pace the corridor. Up and down and up and down until the staff have to bring a chair as they are worried you will fall. You are exhausted 9/n
Your niece comes and sees you though the window and brings pictures and some other personal things but you can’t see her very well and you definitely can’t hear. Besides, she dumped you here after all. You ignore her and turn away 10/n
It must be so terrible to not be able to see anyone and not know anyone and not be able to see their faces. Can you imagine it? But she wasn’t safe at home. Our story isn’t I fear unique. I will be glad to see the back of 2020 and hope 2021 creates a better world. End/n
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