Thread by @crousselle

when did it hit you that life was never going to be normal again because a large number of people's brains had completely warped because for me it was October 5.

I don't know if "nervous breakdown" is the proper term, but what really happened was "scream sobbing in my car in a parking lot at glen echo."

I haven't really been "right" since then, tbh. I mean I've been "off" since May for obvious reasons, but I truly think that night something turned a corner. Maybe it was the blatant disregard of all common sense. Maybe it was being told that I don't care for others. Idk.

but it's been a struggle and a half to exist from that day forward. I'm sure you've noticed. And this is me explaining why.

focusing? impossible. Hobbies I used to enjoy? what are those lol. schoolwork? afterthought, overwhelming.

and i feel like such an idiot saying all of this because it seems so minor in comparison to all of the things I could be experiencing.

I don't want covid. I don't want anyone to get covid. I don't understand why people I know, and love, can't trust that I am cable of evaluating situations and making decisions.

I don't even know if you can call this feeling "sadness." it's just...like the atmosphere is crushing me.

Hundreds gathered to memorialize RBG is fine, few dozen gathered to memorialize my dad is illegal. Hundreds gathered to celebrate Joe Biden is fine, 40 people gathered to celebrate literally anything else makes you a bad person.

and if you point these out you, too, are a bad person/science denier/etc.

Like I've said before, I'm a single woman living far away from family. My closest relative of any sort is a five-hour drive away; closest immediate family is eight (on a good day). This cannot be a "new normal" because there's no way people can survive like this.

two weeks was fine, two months was fun, even--we were calling it Camp Quar.

We are now heading into December. There's talk of this for another year.

This cannot be the "new normal." I'm fortunate enough to have a network of people checking in on me; others are not. I'm still at rock bottom even with this. This isn't healthy. This "new normal" will prove to be deadlier than the virus for people in my age group.

anyhow, thanks for tuning in, this tweet thread was brought to you by "really wanting to see my mom and realizing she can't come down ever as she would be forced to take two weeks off of her job to quarantine even if she tested negative."

this should be "capable," not "cable."