Okay, finally watching #HappiestSeason... I shall tweet my thoughts with no spoilers. πŸ₯°
Fun little reindeer kink scene. πŸ˜‚
I literally thought: "this has gotta be Ohio or PA", and looked it up and sure enough...
Kristen Stewart pet-sitting for others during the holidays on an annual basis hits waaaay too close to home.
The "marriage as an institution" dialogue is a bit meh. Not the point itself, but I feel like I've listened to this exchange a million times.
HOLY SHIT.. never ever ever ever ever ever (ever x 1000000) ask your queer partner to visit the family with the understanding everyone is on the same page and then on the way there be like: "So... they actually don't know we're together or that I'm queer."
That is SO shitty. That's a consent thing. So incredibly shitty and selfish.
I'm actually pissed right now. Fuck that.
Stopping the movie to say this: Her parents are dead. She doesn't have an immediate family. She watches other people's pets on the holidays. And Harper--flush with family--just decides she'll trick her into coming for a closeted experience w/ family? Fuck this.
"I get it. I'm asking a lot of you."

YOU DIDN'T ASK IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE HARPER
"Okay, we can do this."

Oh, just that like? Like we're watching a Ben Stiller holiday flick and this is the quirky subplot?

Holy fucking shit.
"Oh and... don't mention you're gay."

AARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look, I'm sorry, but I really fucking hate the message this sends to queer folks that Kristen Stewart's character is being chill and understanding over being tricked into a road trip to see family and asked not to reveal they're in a relationship OR THAT SHE'S GAY.
Reminding myself to not tweet spoilers. I shall be careful.
Damn, Josh Hartnett's poster is like seeing a ghost.
I really do not like Harper at all.
Run, Abby. Run. This family fucking sucks. Run.
Aubrey Plaza rolling in like a goddamn superhero.
"I know it's what she needs right now."

Oh, Sweetie...
Okay, this is besides the point, but I would actually have no problem with Alison Brie talking shit about me.
The whole ass kitchen scene. Yikes on bikes.
I get that Jane is supposed to be annoying, but she's arguably the best part of this movie, so far.
Icy Alison Brie is giving me feelings, and I am only slightly ashamed.
Oh @AnaGasteyer, I love you. πŸ˜‚
Dan Levy flushing the fish is a perfect sight gag.
Ah, a literal closet. Fun fun fun.
I'm just gonna assume the sex is mind-blowing because there's no way in hell...
These kids need an ass-whoopin' but we don't do that anymore, so these kids need the modern equivalent of an ass-whoopin'.
I could watch Aubrey Plaza sing kitschy holiday songs for hours.

Actually, I could just watch Aubrey Plaza do anything for hours.
Harper is truly insufferable.
Hey @JennaEllisEsq, this lesbian holiday movie features β€œSilent Night”. Thought you should know.
Abby’s outfit at the Christmas party is a rebellion and no one can tell me otherwise.
β€œI’m not hiding you. I’m hiding me.”

YOU LITERALLY TOLD HER TO NOT TELL ANYONE SHE’S GAY YOU ASSHOLE
Hey @JennaEllisEsq, I meant @kayleighmcenany, but I can’t tell any of you apart anymore, so honest mistake. Anyway, watch the lesbian holiday flick to hear β€œSilent Night”.
Dan Levy is killing his lines at the Christmas party.
Whew. No spoilers, but that scene. Whew.
Ehhhhhh... not here for Dan Levy’s character’s beautiful speech being contextualized as covering for Harper’s bullshit. That’s very gross.
β€œI don’t have any secrets, but I *am* an ally.”

Y’all, Jane is so great. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Ehhhh.... look, to each their own in that situation, but nah. Sorry. I wouldn't be able to do it after all that.

/end

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More from @cmclymer

25 Nov
There's obviously a lot of speculation on the number of women to be in Biden's cabinet, so here's a quick primer on the numbers + historical context for perspective.

There are currently 23 cabinet and cabinet-level positions that serve at the pleasure of the President. (thread)
All of these positions are intended to be Senate-confirmed; otherwise, they're in an "acting" capacity. The lone exceptions are Vice President (when directly elected, of course) and the White House Chief of Staff.
The most notable difference between cabinet and cabinet-level is that only cabinet officials are in the presidential line of succession. Should the President die, it goes to VP, then Speaker, then Senate Pro Temp, etc. and all the way down to Sec. of Homeland Security.
Read 21 tweets
24 Nov
cherry > pecan > pumpkin > apple > blueberry
key lime is in between pumpkin and apple
lemon meringue is behind key lime and barely in front of apple
Read 4 tweets
14 Nov
@mtgreenee Today, right this moment, on Capitol Hill and downtown D.C. alone, there are 11 gyms open for business. This doesn't include D.C. gyms near the outskirts of the District or the private gym to which you have access as a Member-Elect of Congress.
@mtgreenee This CrossFit gym is about 1.5 miles from the Capitol grounds. They're open. All you need to do is make an appointment. If you need help figuring out how to call an Uber, I can do that for you, too. crossfitdc.com Image
@mtgreenee Also, not for nothing: your workout form is terrible. That's not the correct form for burpees, squats, or pushups. You're "working out", I guess, but it's not doing much. If you wanna post workout videos, at least have the good sense to fake it properly for two whole minutes.
Read 9 tweets
13 Nov
See? Breathe.
By the way, saying it in the way he said is highly unusual, particularly for the occasion. He went a bit ahead of what generals usually say along these lines. He's talking to Trump and moreover, to nervous Americans. usatoday.com/videos/news/na…
And for those asking about this summer, he's addressed that, too. npr.org/2020/06/11/875…
Read 4 tweets
6 Nov
Hey friends, I woke up to some angry messages over this screenshot from a tweet I wrote from back in May, so I'd like to revisit what happened and again apologize to those who have every right to be upset by what appears to be me mocking people for contracting COVID. (thread)
At the time, my sole purpose was to slam Trump and GA Gov. Brian Kemp for their catastrophic handling of COVID. I was angry over their response and the way they've ignored scientists, and this was my smug attempt to point out just how incredibly wrong and irresponsible they were.
It didn't even cross my mind--not even a little--that people would interpret this as anything OTHER than slamming Trump and Kemp because who would mock anyone (other than dangerous assholes like Trump and Kemp) for contracting COVID?
Read 13 tweets
5 Nov
Hey @clairecmc, have you ever considered that transgender and non-binary people are part of the working class? That until this summer, in most of the United States, we could be fired from our working class jobs solely for being trans?
If you're cisgender and eager to leap to Claire McCaskill's defense of this, you really need to take a break here and rethink your approach.
You know, I really do try to offer grace as much as possible on these things. People can be confused or uninformed and engage in good faith. But when you're a former U.S. senator being paid to comment on politics, you have a responsibility to get it right. She didn't even try.
Read 5 tweets

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