Thread by @cmclymer

Okay, finally watching #HappiestSeason... I shall tweet my thoughts with no spoilers. 🥰

Fun little reindeer kink scene. 😂

I literally thought: "this has gotta be Ohio or PA", and looked it up and sure enough...

Kristen Stewart pet-sitting for others during the holidays on an annual basis hits waaaay too close to home.

The "marriage as an institution" dialogue is a bit meh. Not the point itself, but I feel like I've listened to this exchange a million times.

HOLY SHIT.. never ever ever ever ever ever (ever x 1000000) ask your queer partner to visit the family with the understanding everyone is on the same page and then on the way there be like: "So... they actually don't know we're together or that I'm queer."

That is SO shitty. That's a consent thing. So incredibly shitty and selfish.

I'm actually pissed right now. Fuck that.

Stopping the movie to say this: Her parents are dead. She doesn't have an immediate family. She watches other people's pets on the holidays. And Harper--flush with family--just decides she'll trick her into coming for a closeted experience w/ family? Fuck this.

"I get it. I'm asking a lot of you."

YOU DIDN'T ASK IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE HARPER

"Okay, we can do this."

Oh, just that like? Like we're watching a Ben Stiller holiday flick and this is the quirky subplot?

Holy fucking shit.

"Oh and... don't mention you're gay."

AARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, I'm sorry, but I really fucking hate the message this sends to queer folks that Kristen Stewart's character is being chill and understanding over being tricked into a road trip to see family and asked not to reveal they're in a relationship OR THAT SHE'S GAY.

Reminding myself to not tweet spoilers. I shall be careful.

Damn, Josh Hartnett's poster is like seeing a ghost.

I really do not like Harper at all.

Run, Abby. Run. This family fucking sucks. Run.

Aubrey Plaza rolling in like a goddamn superhero.

"I know it's what she needs right now."

Oh, Sweetie...

Okay, this is besides the point, but I would actually have no problem with Alison Brie talking shit about me.

The whole ass kitchen scene. Yikes on bikes.

I get that Jane is supposed to be annoying, but she's arguably the best part of this movie, so far.

Icy Alison Brie is giving me feelings, and I am only slightly ashamed.

Oh @AnaGasteyer, I love you. 😂

Dan Levy flushing the fish is a perfect sight gag.

Ah, a literal closet. Fun fun fun.

I'm just gonna assume the sex is mind-blowing because there's no way in hell...

These kids need an ass-whoopin' but we don't do that anymore, so these kids need the modern equivalent of an ass-whoopin'.

I could watch Aubrey Plaza sing kitschy holiday songs for hours.

Actually, I could just watch Aubrey Plaza do anything for hours.

Harper is truly insufferable.

Hey @JennaEllisEsq, this lesbian holiday movie features “Silent Night”. Thought you should know.

Abby’s outfit at the Christmas party is a rebellion and no one can tell me otherwise.

“I’m not hiding you. I’m hiding me.”

YOU LITERALLY TOLD HER TO NOT TELL ANYONE SHE’S GAY YOU ASSHOLE

Hey @JennaEllisEsq, I meant @kayleighmcenany, but I can’t tell any of you apart anymore, so honest mistake. Anyway, watch the lesbian holiday flick to hear “Silent Night”.

Dan Levy is killing his lines at the Christmas party.

Whew. No spoilers, but that scene. Whew.

Ehhhhhh... not here for Dan Levy’s character’s beautiful speech being contextualized as covering for Harper’s bullshit. That’s very gross.

“I don’t have any secrets, but I *am* an ally.”

Y’all, Jane is so great. 😂😂😂

Ehhhh.... look, to each their own in that situation, but nah. Sorry. I wouldn't be able to do it after all that.

/end