There’s a couple of old blokes at this bar who are way drunk on bourbon and coke. One of them is about 70yo and would be played by Richard Roxburgh if he were 20 years older. They are rolling in mirth at introducing a friend as “Ben Dover”.
They just called a mate on a video call and they’re complaining about the colleague they had lunch with because “he’s a sour cunt”.
They’re now talking about not being invited to some other bloke’s wedding “because he thinks he’s friend’s with everyone but he’d just a cunt ”.
Oh right, that’s the same bloke. They had lunch with this guy because it’s his birthday and he’s getting married soon. They thought they might go to “a $100 restaurant” but no…
“We went to the worst fucking Thai restaurant in Haymarket and had to sit on stools...”
[Bloke on phone says “Fuck me!”.]
“... next to the toilets.”
[Bloke on phone says “Fuck me!”.]
“... next to the toilets.”
They had a bottle of wine each at lunch, “about ten beers”, and at least four bourbons in the time I’ve been here.
The older Roxburgh character is now trying to take selfies. His mate looks over to me and says “He’s a bit of a fucking problem isn’t he.”
“It’s not for me to say,” I smile in camaraderie.
“It’s not for me to say,” I smile in camaraderie.
OK, so they’re trying to get the bloke on the call to commit to working on some building project. But the dates he’s available are a problem because “Nah we can’t cook the books those dates.”
Bar staff have just asked them to be a little quieter.
Oh Christ I have been drawn into this. Wish me luck.
Oh wait the tradie on the video call is kinda hot. Yes, I have been drawn into the video call.
I have clarified the situation. The younger guy here is the guy having the birthday. The guy they had lunch with is getting married, and arranged lunch. The gripes are that he chose a cheap restaurant and ordered the food and wine without even asking birthday boy. How rude!
More bourbon.
Tradie’s name it’s Mitchell. I think he’s in Campbelltown.
Please excuse typos.
No Mitchell isn’t in Campbelltown. The job is in Campbelltown. “It’s Campbelltown or nothing,” says Birthday Boy.
OMFG MITCHELL IS BIRTHDAY BOY’S SON HE JUST SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAD AND I AM ALMOST CERTAIN THAT THE OLD BLOKE IS THE GRANDFATHER ROFL.
They’ve just left before I could confirm that fact. However I was taught to look at ear and nose shapes and yeah these guys are related somehow. The interactions were very familial.
I have a photo of the two main characters but I probably shouldn’t post it.
Meanwhile if you enjoyed this human drama you could always buy me a drink? stilgherrian.com/tip.
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