There’s a couple of old blokes at this bar who are way drunk on bourbon and coke. One of them is about 70yo and would be played by Richard Roxburgh if he were 20 years older. They are rolling in mirth at introducing a friend as “Ben Dover”.
They just called a mate on a video call and they’re complaining about the colleague they had lunch with because “he’s a sour cunt”.
They’re now talking about not being invited to some other bloke’s wedding “because he thinks he’s friend’s with everyone but he’d just a cunt ”.
Oh right, that’s the same bloke. They had lunch with this guy because it’s his birthday and he’s getting married soon. They thought they might go to “a $100 restaurant” but no…
“We went to the worst fucking Thai restaurant in Haymarket and had to sit on stools...”

[Bloke on phone says “Fuck me!”.]

“... next to the toilets.”
They had a bottle of wine each at lunch, “about ten beers”, and at least four bourbons in the time I’ve been here.
The older Roxburgh character is now trying to take selfies. His mate looks over to me and says “He’s a bit of a fucking problem isn’t he.”

“It’s not for me to say,” I smile in camaraderie.
OK, so they’re trying to get the bloke on the call to commit to working on some building project. But the dates he’s available are a problem because “Nah we can’t cook the books those dates.”
Bar staff have just asked them to be a little quieter.
Oh Christ I have been drawn into this. Wish me luck.
Oh wait the tradie on the video call is kinda hot. Yes, I have been drawn into the video call.
I have clarified the situation. The younger guy here is the guy having the birthday. The guy they had lunch with is getting married, and arranged lunch. The gripes are that he chose a cheap restaurant and ordered the food and wine without even asking birthday boy. How rude!
More bourbon.
Tradie’s name it’s Mitchell. I think he’s in Campbelltown.
Please excuse typos.
No Mitchell isn’t in Campbelltown. The job is in Campbelltown. “It’s Campbelltown or nothing,” says Birthday Boy.
They’ve just left before I could confirm that fact. However I was taught to look at ear and nose shapes and yeah these guys are related somehow. The interactions were very familial.
I have a photo of the two main characters but I probably shouldn’t post it.
Meanwhile if you enjoyed this human drama you could always buy me a drink?

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More from @stilgherrian

7 Dec
Sure, but deaths at Pearl Harbor totalled 2,403. US deaths from Covid-19 is 282,000 and counting. Now there’s a comparison.
If I can be harsh, let’s just say that Pearl Harbor is basically a rounding error when compared with what’s happening in the US today. I don’t say this to diminish the sacrifices of 1941. I say this to express my horror of what is happening in 2020.
More that quarter of a million dead in the US. I have trouble comprehending this. How high would those corpses be piled on the South Lawn? In other contexts this would be a crime against humanity and we’d be taking chained-up people to the Hague.
Read 7 tweets
7 Dec
I just watched the first 30 minutes of @TimeGhostTV’s five-hour “Pearl Harbour Minute by Minute” which starts at 0310 AEDT — yes I have it early. It’s excellent.
@TimeGhostTV I only have it early because I’m one of their Patreon supporters, not because I’m special in any way. Money talks.
As an aside, I’d love to hear from someone who watches this cold, because I’m watching the WW2 Week by Week series and already have a lot of the background.…
Read 5 tweets
7 Dec
You know when a group of people walk into a bar and you just KNOW they work in advertising, marketing, or PR?
Loudest and in charge is a white bloke wearing jeans, brown elastic-sided boots, and an unironed but terrible expensive pale shirt shirt with the collar open and not tucked in. He speaks somewhat louder than necessary so everyone can hear his “jokes”.
There are women too, of course. Summer dresses, or loose blouses and jeans, with plenty of shoulder revealed — tanned but with the age spots starting to show. Heels. Voices overly loud with each amusing sentence punctuated with a loud series of squawks.
Read 12 tweets
7 Dec
On a tram listening to two boomers discussing their terrible financial situations. One says he’s lived in the same house since he was 5yo, and at some point when she retired she moved out and said “The house is yours.”
He’s complaining that when TAFE offered him some casual work they only offered him $75 an hour. Something else he said indicates this was about 20 years ago.
Apparently this rate was “disrespectful” because “I’ve been a company director” and “I’m more senior than that”. So he declined after talking to the HR person who was “just a slip of a thing”.
Read 4 tweets
7 Dec
“DMARC inching its way onto Australian government domains” by @dobes…
Oh I forgot to add this hilarity. Apparently revealing whether you have DMARC turned on is a security matter. DMARC is a public record if where your email comes from so imposters can be excluded. It’s the exact opposite of a secret.
That critical defence agency the National Australia Day Council, “swerved around answering any questions related to DMARC”, saying that to do so “would provide a snapshot in time of the entire Federal Government's cyber security maturity”. Somehow.
Read 7 tweets
6 Dec
Mon plan, draft attack ostrich avoidance edition: Slow-ish start with a few small tasks; reading for a @zdnetaustralia story; 1545 back maintenance, Darlinghurst; remainder ad lib as I figure out what I’m going overnight.
One of my options is to rest before starting to watch @TimeGhostTV’s five-hour “Pearl Harbor Minute by Minute” in real time from 0310 AEDT. However as a TimeGhost Army footsoldier I could start early. Or I could just leave it for later.
Either way, further alleged plans and links to other stuff may be found in the Weekly Wrap, along with a photograph from last year’s bushfires.
Read 5 tweets

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