Thread by @nombonisogasa

I answered the phone, it was dad. ‘Poni, your mother’s been summoned to tribal court. These people...Do they know MaRhadebe?!’ Mother took the phone and with the quietest voice declared ‘I am going and I will speak for myself’. Women were represented by male relatives. 1/

Me: Let’s talk about this. You don’t have to go. Tell them to piss off. Ma: Watch your language. I know I don’t have to go. But I am going. Do you know they delivered the notice at 6am. Ngenjixukuxa. It’s decided, I will go. 2/

My parents and their friends went to tribal. On arrival, a minor chief blocked parking and took his time, receiving salutations. It was a passive aggressive move, to intimidate ma before court started. After they ignored her, she parked the behind the chief, blocking him in. 3/

When the hearing finally started, they announced the court hearing for Mrs Gasa. And asked, who is representing her, looking at dad. My mother responded ‘You summoned me. You didn’t summon my representative. I am here. I represent myself.’ And proceeded to take the ‘stand’. 4/

Mother didn’t wear head coverings/doek/iqhiya. That day she wore it to show respect but also to make sure they didn’t use that to throw her out. She also wore a shawl to hlonipha. Mother loved shawls. We could decipher her mood by how she wore a shawl. 5/

She wrapped her shawl over her shoulders, it didn’t hang...and went right up in front of the senior chief. Father would tell us afterwards. When ma stood in front of those men, in front of those bullies, they ignored her. They talked about her as if she wasn’t there. 6/

She was silent, watching for a while. And then she raised her hand. They continued talking amongst themselves about her. Ma, called the chief by his formal address. Silence. She told them she was there, responding to summons. She was amazed by the disrespect of the court. 7/

The chief told my father to represent his wife. My mother responded, ‘My husband is here to support me. He is not my mouth and he is not my brains...’ Silence and then a buzz, men discussing mother’s disrespect. 8/

Mother began to speak and addressed the Court. She told them she had other business to attend to. When they made up their minds, they knew where to find her. And according to dad ‘she threw her shawl over one shoulder, hanging and walked out. 9/

Since we were small, we knew dad was very proud of ma. But I don’t think I’d ever heard him prouder. She was not called back to the tribal court. We never knew what she was charged with. We also didn’t know the meanings of how ma wore her shawls. Only dad knew that language.