Women cooking for men is not an act of servitude in Africa as is peddled by leftism. In the original African context, food is not just about fill, it is a bridge to community. We have sacrificed our wealth already, why must we sacrifice our identity too?
The funny thing is we are sacrificing it for the proclivities of communities that lack grounded identity. There's no white identity. There's no African American identity. But there is the African identity. Yet it's us that act like we have no identity. They should be emulating us
In America, chicken is just chicken. You eat it & sleep. That's why they won't stop eating. They eat morning to night. Nonstop. But in Africa, food is an opportunity for community. Every action seeks community. When we meet, when the women cook, it is not the act, but the symbol.
Achebe says, "when we (Africans) gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so."
Our actions are not isolated affairs. They serve a greater purpose.
So a man that seeks a wife that cooks, seeks community. He is a good man. And more often than not, a proper provider. He seeks a woman to complement him. This man will go to heaven. And will realize great wealth. The African man whose house has a cooking timetable, God save him!
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I don't understand why cooking for men is an issue in Africa. Food is not just food here, it is a symbol of community. Like the Kola nut. And if 90% of women that say they will never cook for a man are single...
And the fact that you say, you'll never cook for a man, means a man is still in your plans. My women cook for me. I am not going to make a cooking timetable in my house. That's for the modern man. Why an act of love has been turned into an agenda I do not understand.
If you don't want to cook for your man, join that other queue. You will wait a while because the quintessential African man loves food coming from his woman's hands. In America food is just food, in Africa food is a symbol. Or marry an American.
In October 2018, a man woke up, bid his wife & child a good day, & rushed off to work. He arrived at his work station by 6:15 a.m., was settled by 7:00 a.m, awaiting a meeting at 9:00 a.m. This was not to be, as an hour later, Mumbo jumped to his death.
In April 1992, a young man of immense intellect and rich background woke up, gave all of his $25,000 in savings to charity, burned all the money in his wallet, and marched into the wilderness. Four months later, McCandless's decomposed body was found in the forest.
In 1884, a former successful stockbroker abandoned his family and the opulence of Paris for the prosaic life of Tahiti, an island in the middle of nowhere. He wanted to paint - that was all the reason he gave. Gauguin died alone, of Syphillis & a destitute.
I will always defend the man's preference/right to date younger, & childless women. But it is not right to reduce all older women's singlehood & single motherhood to recklessness: Husbands die, boyfriends flee, love dies, and people amicably divorce. Not everyone is desperate.
I say this because I have a sister, & friends. And they are good people. They gave their best, they worked hard, but things did not work out. It is not right that they too should bear the burdens of their reckless peers.
We don't reduce all men's poverty to laziness. We know that some have not been lucky with jobs. We know some got the sack. We investigate the context first. We say, "give potential a chance". And many of us have received that grace from society.
In the grand scheme of things, wealth & beauty will determine your scale of tolerance. The ugly woman is more tolerant of abuse: the poor man will be his peers' punching bag. It is not right, and I do not know which is worse. But both will suffer.
Counsel must be toned to their realities. If you asked both to value themselves, you'd be speaking braille. They do not understand the language. "Value myself? how?". Value myself on what? The man looks at his pockets, the woman her face, and they decide their fate.
Very few escape that reality. To save the woman, she'll need to be stripped of her mirror, to save the man, he must be given pants without pockets. That he might learn to exist without his pockets. You've heard the term, "know your place", this is what it means.
We must confront the truth, that this generation, too, has failed to mainstream political sanity. We fault politicians because it is convenient, nay popular. Any meaningful change will have to begin from this base: The leaders we pick are the representation of the majority us.
Internalization of this truth is key to remedy. So far, the default African citizenry response has been to change leaders. We don't wish to change somethings about us, so we change the external: we hope to retain our corruption while enjoying the fruits of good leadership. .
That is why every time we came near salvation, it would be sold for pieces of coins. This is who we are. This is what we do at our workplaces, in the bars, in the dingy hotels. Each of us participates in robbing this continent. We are not its victims. We are its abusers.
When my mother was getting married to my old man, she had one demand: She would not marry/live with an alcoholic man. She was saved. So they married, & 3 weeks into the marriage my old man went to a busaa (local brew) joint & drowned a gallon. Came home staggering drunk...
My mother welcomed him. Fed him. Put him in bed. Packed her bags. Left for her father's home very early in the morning. She was not going to live with an alcoholic man. That was that! When my old man awoke, his wife was nowhere to be found...
He searched here, searched there. My mother had left. My old man decided he was going to marry another woman. He went looking but all the women he found had faults. Too lazy. Too dirty. My old man was frustrated.