Fo' people in the North.

Keep. Your. Pets. Indoors.

I'm tired of plugging in a heating pad on my porch for my neighbor's cat, feeding my neighbor's cat. If it weren't illegal to take in their cat--even though she's not collared or chipped--I'd have 4 cats and a dog right now.
If it's cold, make sure your fucking cat is indoors. If she wants to run out, block her with your goddamn feet. If she gets past your feet, coax her with some treats.
And if she keeps getting out despite all your efforts, put a break-away collar on her and get her microchipped.
Also, spaying and neutering is free in the City of Pittsburgh. Adding a microchip is only $10-$15. A collar is about the same. If you can't afford a collar and/or a pet, you can't afford to own the pet.
Homeless people who panhandle in 'dahntahn' Pittsburgh have their dogs spayed, neutered, and collared. If people who have no homes to live in are taking better care of their pets than you do, please rethink your entire life.

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More from @KaraCalavera

7 Nov
Yay! We've won the presidency.

Now we can focus on winning those Senate seats in Georgia.

And we can also work on our messaging! /1
"Defund the police" should never be uttered again by a Democratic politician. What you mean is that you want to reform the police. You want to demilitarize the police. You want the police to think before the shoot.

Let's work on a better slogan. /2
"Medicare for All!" isn't the best slogan because there are millions of Americans who know that Medicare kinda sucks. What you actually want is *Medicaid* for all. But you don't want to say that because Americans associate Medicaid unemployed folks.

Let's work on it. /3
Read 12 tweets
7 Nov
This has been on my desk since March 13th. It's half-full.

🤢
🤮
WHY DID I HAVE TO OPEN IT?!
Read 5 tweets
7 Nov
Poor plant. (Not mine.)
Hello, George!

Hello, custom Funko of yours truly!

Hello, Monroe!
Read 6 tweets
7 Nov
People who find it impossible to believe he was abusive in his relationship must never have loved an addict. If you have, you know that a seemingly rational, loving being can become a monster very quick under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
It really didn't have to go this way for him. It didn't.

I hope he shrugs off his enablers and gets the help he needs.
Read 4 tweets
7 Nov
I told my friends on election night to be patient. We'd win Pennsylvania.

I waited. I didn't sleep. I waited some more. I was determined to not sleep through history.

And then I laid down on the couch just to rest my eyes and PA was called.
If you've been following me long enough, you'll know that good news only occurs when I fall asleep accidentally. Tax returns get published. Cronies get arrested. Trumps get Covid.
And now states get called after 4 days.

It's only possible when this insomniac finally falls asleep.

You are all welcome.
Read 4 tweets
5 Nov
In better news, I think I've mastered air fryer pepperoni balls.

They're not quite the same, but they're good enough for me to avoid Erie for another decade.
Pillsbury refrigerated 'classic' pizza dough (of all things!) rolled into balls about the size of a golf ball, stuffed with three pieces of pepperoni, and rolled in melted butter. Set the air fryer to 370 and set the timer to 7 minutes.
The pepperoni ball sounds simple enough, but it's not.

It's fried just enough so that the outside is crispy and the first layer is airy, but but it still needs to maintain some moisture at the center. That creates a sort of pocket around the pepperoni.
Read 5 tweets

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