Thread by @CSakwah

I rarely write erotic pieces. Why not today?
There is this fine but promiscuous babe in our apartment that is generous with her coochie. She spreads her legs indiscriminately. It is well known that she has been tapped by almost every tenant this year.

The landlord has laid her for rent. The gateman has had his time HER. The guy who collects waste from our apartment has also slept with her.
I am the only tenant that hasn’t tapped her. As the year drew towards the end, I thought I should finally get my moment with her.

I was on a dry spell. Recently, I haven’t been getting laid as much as I used to. 26th Dec, Boxing Day, was to be the day.
In the morning, I cleaned my house thoroughly in anticipation of encroaching on her public land. I was so sure she was not going to say no to me.

One of my neighbors who had bagged her just days before Christmas was full of praise when talking about her. ‘She barely says no to anyone, a philanthropic woman. She is so good in bed that I have slept with her on multiple occasions this year.

Sometimes we shag in her house, sometimes at my house. Yesterday, we shagged four times in her house,’ he narrated of his escapade with her.
In the evening, I saw her walk out of her house with a handbag. I rushed out to talk to her. I was cocksure that she would say yes.

I ‘heyed beautiful’ her. She stopped. ‘I have been seeing you around for a while. I have been pondering over this for a while. I didn’t know how to go about it.’ I said
‘Just go straight to the point.’ She said. She was in a rush, I could tell.

‘I have been wondering if we can shag?’ I went straight to the point. She smiled smugly and coyed to respond as if she was thinking of the appropriate way to say yes. I mean, if she had said yes to the gateman, other tenants, why not me?

She pouted her lips with a response, ‘No, bruh, not you, Chelsea. I might be promiscuous but I don’t shag every Tom, Dick, and Harry.’
‘Why not me, Arsenal? Why not me?’ I asked her, red-faced.

‘You are haughty and cocky. You think because your father is rich, you can use that to lure every woman onto your bed?’ She started walking away. I was disappointed and embarrassed. ‘If you don’t mind, I have a date to attend to.’
‘A date with who?’

‘Brighton Hove Albion,’ she replied.
‘Our caretaker? You are going to shag our caretaker and not me?’
‘There, Chelsea. Do you have a problem with it? It is my WAP, and I can do with it as I like.’

‘Of Course,’ I muted to myself and started walking back into my house with my head lowered. I wallowed into shame. When I lifted my head, I spotted my neighbor Tottenham laughing at me.

The Manchester brothers were on their window pointing their fingers at me as I took the walk of shame back to my house. The whore of the hood had rejected my sexual advances. Today, as is the rest of the week, I will lock myself in my house to wallow in the miasma of my stress.