Sisters if you don't want to work after marriage and support your spouse financially please explicitly state this to your future spouse and their family.
I have come to know that men and their families are seaching for working women so that they can come into their family and support the family at large especially with finances.
Islamically women have no such duty or responsibility. If a woman earns it's her own money.
Islamically women have no such duty or responsibility. If a woman earns it's her own money.
If she decides to support her husband and his family that's a good deed but not an obligation and she cannot be forced or guilt tripped into doing this.
There are men and families who need women to work and support the household.
There are men and families who need women to work and support the household.
May Allah make things easy for these brothers and for these families. We have to accept the fact that there are Muslim families that need many working members to keep the family afloat or even to hardly make ends meet.
If you want to continue to work,
If you want to continue to work,
not help spouse financially and want him to take absolute financal responsibility and also do house work let him know this clearly. So that the brother/potential can make an informed decision as well.
Many brothers don't want to do any house work if they are taking 100% financial responsibility of the household. Discuss gender roles and expectations.
Financial difficulty and vague responsibility around finances after marriage is a reason for alot of divorces.
Financial difficulty and vague responsibility around finances after marriage is a reason for alot of divorces.
Failing to have clarity about this issue from men and women is destroying a lot of lives.
Know what you want and know what level of service you can give before promising and before stepping into marriage. Don't FORCE your spouse to do something AFTER marriage.
Know what you want and know what level of service you can give before promising and before stepping into marriage. Don't FORCE your spouse to do something AFTER marriage.
Some women are like :
“I personally want to be a stay at home wife and mother. I want to have no burden of financial responsibility on me. I want to be a wife, a cook, a mother & a home maker, a nurturer before anything else. “
“I personally want to be a stay at home wife and mother. I want to have no burden of financial responsibility on me. I want to be a wife, a cook, a mother & a home maker, a nurturer before anything else. “
You can continue to work from home (and do my little dawah work online).
As a sister, you can also be like:
“ I want to homeschool my children. And I have made this explicitly known to men who have shown interest in me. I cannot do house work,
As a sister, you can also be like:
“ I want to homeschool my children. And I have made this explicitly known to men who have shown interest in me. I cannot do house work,
take care of kids and then have the added financial responsibility over my head as well. It will be a living nightmare. “
With the horrible stories of abuse I have heard I am someone who cannot leave his kids in a crush/day care,
With the horrible stories of abuse I have heard I am someone who cannot leave his kids in a crush/day care,
may Allah Protect me and my family from ever having to do that. And may Allah show rehma to families who have no other choice.
If you are honest, the other party will make an informed choice before marrying you and will not be disappointed.
If you are honest, the other party will make an informed choice before marrying you and will not be disappointed.
Make your expectations from your spouse known to them.
Explicitly state them. And if you are making promises make sure you can keep them and those are not mere meaningless words.
Although, don't live life thinking that things will remain the same. Dynamics change,
Explicitly state them. And if you are making promises make sure you can keep them and those are not mere meaningless words.
Although, don't live life thinking that things will remain the same. Dynamics change,
financial situations change, you as a person will definitely change, your capabilities and health changes, and so does the fact whether you get blessed with kids in 5 years or 15 years.
Fact is you aren't going to be the same person with the same outlook on life (save some solid ground for aqeedah and deen) and the same wishes and desires when you were engaged to a few or several years into the marriage.
Unfortunately many times couples fail to be flexible or compromising or understanding.
Choose a man who shows rehma, who steps up when needed, who doesn't gaslight. And be a similar woman. Guide eachother to Jannah,
you both are in this together. A team.
Choose a man who shows rehma, who steps up when needed, who doesn't gaslight. And be a similar woman. Guide eachother to Jannah,
you both are in this together. A team.
🤲 May Allah give us guidance to keep up with our commitments and embrace the changes that a marriage calls for with hikmah.
Allahumma ameen!
Allahumma ameen!
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