Thread by @gavinsblog

Wild Mountain Thyme time.

Oh my word.

Should I live tweet this shit?

Three actors in one room with three different accents. Apparently from the same town.

This is defo a comedy. Just not sure how serious it takes itself yet...

Why is she smoking a pipe and why does he point that out? While in a shed. With no electricity.

Oh there is electricity. But they need lamps too. 🤷‍♂️

The light switches are circa 1950

"Where do we go when we die.. the sky?" he said seriously.

WTF is going on. She said bye *IRL* like Irish people say "bye, bye, bye" on the phone? 🙈 ah here

What kinda boat is that? Oh he fell in the water.

She's never washed her face has she?

He's dragging his boat through the field?

"See you at Church". Eh only protestants say that.

Modern An Post van outside.

Still not sure what the plot is. 🤷‍♂️

Oh he's practicing a proposal on a donkey. That's funny.

This is a piss take. It has to be.

She's gonna freeze her eggs? But they're using gas lamps?

Walken's telly is circa 1980.

Why is he drinking orange juice at the bar? And who is the punk woman?

Om my fucking word. These accents are all over the shop.

"She sang this song into the ground" No, that's not a phrase.

Was there a single consultant working on this shitshow?

Ok he's off with the punk woman now after a load of orange juice apparently

She has a Dublin accent. It sounds authentic. He's also Irish but is putting on a fake Irish accent.

Wait they have Airbus jets too? But I thought we were in.. when? Here's Jon Hamm!

Hamm is driving a Rolls folks. Fancy.

"this is an *automatic*" he says, in wonder

"This is a Roll Royce!" he exclaimed. Apparently living in some time warp.

Ah Hamm is the interested Yank land purchaser, a la The Field

"He got himself a metal detector" looking at the foolish Irish man with the fake Irish accent walking around a field in a new white coat the yank got him.

Hamm to Rosemary: "I could take you to see the Lion King"

How does the Lion King exist in this universe?!

I'm LOLing now. This is a parody. They're taking the piss.

Hamm said "you people" when referring to Irish people.

This is like Fair City, but worse.

Dornan is picking mushrooms in a field. I'm not sure why this scene with Hamm exists, as they feed cows.

Apparently an Irish farmer doesn't know how many acres he has 👀

Ok this can't be real. There's aliens or something coming. I just watched Groundhog Day so is there a time travel twist??

There's a star somewhere in the distance. Walken is smoking a pipe while sick. Declares he doesn't love Dornan's mother. Dialogue is wooden. Dornan is welling up. Kill me now.

WTF is going on.

Somehow there's something about the gates at the start of the film. To do with land. Or something. Dornan asks forgiveness.

I think this is meant to be serious but I'm laughing.

Walken to Dornan: love will find you... god bless you.

Please god is there a watch up his ass too? From Vietnam?

A car from the 1990s now. Red, with sheep in the back.

Blunt is smoking. Her face has been cleaned at least.

Some sort of debate between Blunt and Dornan about something. Dunno what they're talking about.

"How many days do we have while the sun shines?" she says.

Said no one, in Ireland, ever.

This is very laboured Hiberno-English.

"I think you should evacuate this country altogether" says Dornan to Blunt.

Evacuate.

"Maybe I will vacate the country" says Blunt.

As she smokes.

Blunt has a shawl on. Doing ballet. In the yard. Opening shutters on the house.

Cut to Aer Lingus A330 flying. Blunt has gone to New York.

"The buildings are like teeth" she says, looking at the Manhattan skyline.

Morto. For. Her.

Hamm has taken Blunt - the naive Irish girl - to the ballet in Manhattan. She crying. They go for dinner and vino after. Apparently she's never seen Swan Lake despite a lifetime of interest in ballet.

Cut to NY skyline

Blunt: "look at the lights everywhere" "tis grand" says she.

Hamm sticks the beak in.

Cut to Aer Lingus A330. I think this means Blunt flew back.

Hamm rings Dornan in Ireland. Apparently he's confessing interest in naive Irish girl Blunt. Dornan perplexed. Puts white coat on and decides to go metal detecting. At night.

Blunt is back. She decides not to have her fry and puts her head on the kitchen table.

I've no idea WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

OK I'VE BROKEN DOWN. 😂😂😂😂 The music is dramatic but no idea why.

Dornan is metal detecting in a field. I don't why. Blunt is on a horse.

Hamm is on Aer Lingus to Dublin I think.

Blunt and Dornan are wearing big coats. Dornan looks as confused as I am.

There's a possessed horse in a shed.

No I don't know why either.

"The rain would drown a fish" says Blunt. WHAT

Dornan has a handkerchief. Blunt says it looks awful.

She calls his metal detector a "weed whacker".

WTF is a weed whacker?

Cut to Hamm on Aer Lingus flight to Dublin. Chatting to the lady in 6A. He's in 6B. I don't know why he is.

Dornan: "Perfect day to be hanging yourself"

What?

Blunt: "I'm shattered with black clouds of depression.. since I quite the cigarettes"

NOPE I'VE NO IDEA EITHER.

*quit

"Can I make you a sandwich" says Blunt to Dornan. Out of nowhere.

"The Guinness is good?" "Yes.."

Dornan is drinking the product of canned Guinness, not draft. So.. no.

Blunt brings up Amsterdam's red light district... I think? Out of nowhere.

Blunt threatens to kill Dornan. Calls cigarettes "the smokes".

Blunt: Will ya have another Guinness?

She goes to the parlour to get a can from the press. *No, it's in the fridge love.*

Blunt to Dornan: "Are you a homosexual?"

Blunt: "A man should stink like you. Hamm smells like lilies in the field"

Dornan: "No answer to blather like that"

She crazy.

Blunt claims to have quit the smokes for him.

Admits she went to NY on Tuesday.

Dornan: how? Pronounces it "TOOSDAY"

Hamm on A330 to Dublin. Discusses snoring with pax in 6A.

Dornan and Blunt are still chatting in the kitchen. She's making moves.

Blunt: "Are you a virgin?" "Tell me your secret"
Dornan: "I believe that I am a honeybee"
Blunt: "Say that again"... "I'll get the car"

They're driving.

Blunt doesn't believe that Dornan believes he's a bee.

Dornan: "I'm a disgrace"

WTAF

Hamm is chilling at Terminal 2 Dublin Airport.

Blunt ran the car into a tree for no reason.

A horse is in the scene for some reason.

Dornan says he's delusional.

Blunt says she thinks she's a swan.

They're wearing those VERY FANCY coats again. It's raining.

Blunt wants Dornan to "sting" her.

THEY KISS.

FFS. It's lashing.

Blunt admits she's mad. He carries her up a hill.

Hamm bumps into 6A outside Terminal 2. She asks if he'd like to see the Ring of Kerry again (cc @donie)

Blunt and Dornan are hugging on a hill, looking at that mad horse running around. In FANCY COATS.

Cut to, Dornan singing in the local pub. Singing the theme music.

Ok so, now he calls Blunt up to join in to sing the theme music of the film.

Montage of different characters doing random shit.

Flashback to Dornan sniffing a flower as a child.

Pub clientele join in singing. Random Dub punk woman is there somewhere. Not sure what her purpose was.

ENDS!!!!

That was it. 🤯

That was some batshit crazy stuff. No idea what it was doing. Probably better to watch while on acid?

I guess Hamm roadtripped with 6A to Kerry and just forgot about Blunt?

And Blunt and Dornan just.. got together at the end for... reasons... 🤷‍♂️

So... don't bother your holes folks. Unless you're high. Or drunk (like me)

HAPPY NEW YEAR. TOP O THE MORNING TO YA 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🤯🤯