The "How Did I Survive 2020?" FAKE ANSWERS ONLY tweet contest is COMPLETE!

The Top 10 submissions have been ranked and will be shared over the next hour until 2021 2021 2021 2021 IS HERE in Northern Virginia!!!
First, a big thank you to the folks who submitted responses but didn't make my final 10:
@wicked_sassy @asigal22 @Lana_del_rico @PeanutDweck @LayneScherer @joe_walsky @blakekrapfl @nards_deli11 @magscolvett @public_enembe @GraceRelf @ashleyowza
@wicked_sassy @asigal22 @Lana_del_rico @PeanutDweck @LayneScherer @joe_walsky @blakekrapfl @nards_deli11 @magscolvett @public_enembe @GraceRelf @ashleyowza Starting off at #10:

Pouring myself into meaningless twitter arguments.

From @kdubsultimate
#9 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

With all my extra free time home with the kids, I created a lucrative side hustle as tiktok life coach. #investinyourself #earlytobedearlytorise #tiktokmidlifecrisis #blessed

From @doctorhandy
#8 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

By acting like the Dread Pirate Roberts and telling the staff of the Non-Profit I preside over that their job is safe for today, but I’ll surely fire them tomorrow.


(PS - This one hits TOO CLOSE!!!)
#7 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Shot ultimate Twitter straight into my veins.

From @huffmucker
#6 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Sending weekly Snapchats of clams having sex to everyone on Seattle Mixtape. Clams are the real winners of 2020!

From @thefuture10se
I'm realizing now that my Top 10 was actually a Top 11 because OF COURSE I DID.
OK here's the other #6 =


Tweeting horny thoughts at 11 PM with a bunch of strangers I met on Twitter bc of our shared interest in throwing a plastic disc back and forth.

From @LifeOfJimmer_
#5 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Printed my best tweets out and stitched them together to form a weighted blanket so I could soothe my anxiety and relive my most popular internet moments all at once.

From @UltiPlanet
#4 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Moved to a small town to work remotely, fell deeply in love with a co-worker, learned to play the piano and ice sculpt, woke up every morning to "I Got You Babe", and kidnapped and drove off a cliff with Punxsutawney Phil.

From @dukebk
#3 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Spit swapping at unsanctioned leagues held in Indianapolis.

From @cjtweetsalot
#2 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

I ground up my disc collection and snorted a little everyday with a sip of warm Smirnoff ice.

And here we are. The #1 submission.

#1 - HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020?

Every morning I wake up and congratulate myself on having an absolute DUMPTRUCK of an ass

From @kpempek12
IT'S OK I just found a mini bottle of Fireball in the freezer!


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More from @being_ulti

2 Jan
HOT TAKE = The business of sports in America perpetuates white supremacy and reinforces systemic racism in our society.

(and the sport of ultimate is broadly trying to commercialize itself into this same oppressive system)
Karl Marx suggested that "religion is the opium of the people." In an increasingly secularized society, this function is performed by sports entertainment.
It's not a coincidence to me that the most active protest movements of 2020 came during a period when all televised sports were on pause. Sports didn't exist as the distraction they otherwise provide on a daily basis.
Read 16 tweets
1 Jan

Before going into HOT TAKES, I thought it might be helpful to add some flavor context on my assumptions for human behavior and how they inform my work as a disc org ED and my thinking about ultimate's future.
I'm an instinctively CYNICAL person. My default setting is to assume that humans act from their own self-interest EVEN when their actions contribute to the greater good. When interacting with others, I'm always seeking to detect or understand their underlying motives.
To others, this can seem like a shitty way to operate, and it CERTAINLY means I'm not everyone's go-to person for happy funtime vibes. But I'd argue strongly that this approach has helped me a lot, both personally & professionally, to maintain a positive outlook toward humanity.
Read 9 tweets
31 Dec 20
My COVID thread was exhausting but we're NOT DONE YET.

Return-to-play questions aren't SOLELY focused on community health & the virus. Orgs are challenged to address how return-to-play plans will accommodate marginalized groups. There's serious risk of backsliding on DEI work.
To their credit, USAU addressed this in their Return-To-Play guidance:

"Barriers that prevent people
marginalized by society...from returning to play equitably are likely to manifest as playing opportunities are
reintroduced and are subject to special...requirements."
Indeed, the special requirements I addressed (cost increases especially) will serve to reduce opportunities for folks with financial barriers. Returning-to-play during the pandemic will cost more to organize. That's going to reduce opportunities for participation.
Read 5 tweets
31 Dec 20
And here we are. The LAST DAY of 2020!

I've thought a lot over how best to use my Being Ulti powers to close out this shitstorm of a year. What game or gimmick would be cheeky & fun but give folks a chance to blow off some steam without getting TOO heavy? Here's my idea!
The "How Did I Survive 2020?" FAKE ANSWERS ONLY tweet contest!

Submit your FAKE ANSWER for how YOU survived 2020 using the linked form. I'll rank and tweet out my favorite submissions TONIGHT in a fast & furious twitter storm to end the year.…
My example =

HOW DID I SURVIVE 2020? By scrolling my Twitter feed as much as possible and gaining constant encouragement and inspiration from news and social media posts.
Read 6 tweets
30 Dec 20
Here’s a pic of myself and Chris Beach-Rehner. We were frisbee teammates with JMU @hellfishulti where CBR earned his nickname “The Unit.” Together we formed the Twin Towers starting forward line of the Hellfish’s intramural basketball team (and scored all the team's points). Image
@hellfishulti I’ve got fond memories of an overnight road trip to Red Tide Clambake in '06 (& awful memories of sleeping in his tiny-ass car). Unit couchsurfed at my house in Arlington VA one summer while interning in D.C. Later he moved to Portland, OR and was big in the ultimate scene there. Image
@hellfishulti Chris Beach-Rehner took his own life in the Winter of 2015. As one who is not typically predisposed to feelings of grief & mourning, losing the Unit was brutal. He was such a unique, over-the-top personality and I miss him a lot.…
Read 11 tweets
9 Sep 19
The class I teach tonight (poetry) is all set and the class I take today (boxing) won't start for a bit, so let's talk origins. I got into this lateish, 25, with no sports background and no one in my life who'd ever played, so some very specific stars had to align to get me here.
I gave some of this in the bio and a fuller rendition on @SinTheFields (starts halfway in, but like, listen to the whole thing, learn some league draft strategies, subscribe to Ultiworld, etc.), but the very short version is……
…on a whim (actually after one of @jodyavirgan's three annual frisbee tweets, so good work growing the sport), I started watching the 2017 college finals, and — intrigued by both the sport itself and this wild hidden world around it — went down a rabbit hole and never came back.
Read 26 tweets

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