Amid the Capitol attack, I kept reporting my observations while also sharing my body's visceral reactions as events unfolded.

After convos w/ ppl who also went through it, I know a lot of us are experiencing the side effects days later. So ppl know they aren’t alone, here r mine
The morning after, I relayed to friends ‘I’m not traumatized, but I am processing.’ I do believe that, but I was also naive about the emotions that hide until the adrenaline disappeared from my body (as some military types warned in my DMs)
There is a fear of the attackers still targeting reporters or finding me that persists like a constant low-level electric shock in my chest.

Images of ppl w/ zip-ties don’t help, no matter if they were meant for members/reporters/both.

Don't know how bad things could’ve gone.
The emotions bubbled over me when a member called me Thurs night correcting the record about the officer dying: He was on life support, not dead. Now his family would have to go through the motions twice.

(Besides one tearless sob on the night of the attack) Tears, lots.
I cried at the thought of a life lost too early, for no good reason and with such violence. I thought of his family who lost their loved one.

And I cried from a confusing sense of guilt gratitude mixing in me over the feeling that he died protecting me/us who were inside.
I’d encourage anyone who was there that day to share how they are still processing, whether it is with a friend, here or in my DMs/privately, bc you are not alone and bc the after shock is part of the story too. It isn't something that is over once the violence stops.
I know friends in the Capitol/evacuation who are processing in wholly different ways than I am and that's okay. There is no one right way of processing what has happened.
And another remaining thought:

I'm sad it happened, but I am not sad I was there covering what happened.

Wednesday was historic, even if it was ugly.

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