Ok here's my covid hot take.
So obviously, people dying is bad. Obviously, taking a bunch of precautions to save lives is very good. Obviously, being as cautious as possible is super important.
But maybe...
My mom's philosophy (for once) is yolo. She's like, if I get it, whatever. The risk of hospitalization/death isn't high enough to justify me living my life in fear. And she did get covid, and now she's better, and she continues on not wearing a mask or isolating.
And-
Obviously this is bad. Obviously she put herself and other people's lives at risk. Obviously she should have been isolating, not hosting bible studies.
But maybeee she's kinda right. I sort of respect her, despite the fact I've been huddled in my house for nearly a year.
She just was like "fuck this illness, my life goes on." And a part of me wonders, is this what all of us should be doing? Bite the bullet, face a wave of deaths, suffer, grieve, and move on?
Idk. I'm not doing that but I think if my peer group were more like her, I would be.
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I'm agender, in that when I google 'agender' everything that's said about it sounds right to me. I have no sense of internal gender, womanness feels like a suit I got put into.
But the concept of telling people I'm "not cis" feels so bizarre. 1/
Why would I do that? People see my woman suit and know that woman suits mean something in society, and that seems... true. It also seems totally irrelevant to me if they understand I don't 'feel' like a woman. It doesn't impact anything. Why would I bother to correct them? 2/
Like, if I used they/them pronouns that wouldn't *mean* anything. I'd still look and act like I do, and nothing else would change, and nothing about the way they viewed me would change. She/her pronouns are part of my woman suit, and like sure, whatever man. 3/
People have way bigger variance around sexual promiscuity than you think. Some people genuinely strongly prefer trad, monog, conservative sexuality; others genuinely strongly prefer nontrad, polyamorous, publicly expressed sexuality.
both of these are FINE. this isn't a war!
So many people seem to be completely unable to understand that I actually deeply prefer polyamory. I've always been like this; before I knew what polyamory was, I was in my first monog relationship, and when I caught my bf sexting with someone else, I... didn't care.
I "got mad" cause I thought I was supposed to be mad, but it really didn't bother me. It seemed obvious that my boyfriend loved me, and his sexting had nothing to do with how much he wanted me.
Once I heard what polyamory was, it was like... ohhh. *That's* what I am.
I grew up low class, and expected my life to be hard - only I didn’t process it as “hard”; it was just how life *was.* I was going to have to spend the rest of my life doing minimum-wage physically-hard labor, and then getting pregnant. That was the plan, but more importantly-
I didn’t register this plan as a bad one, a sad one. It made the “I need to set aside my feelings and use my willpower” part of my brain very active, a dominant way of being. The pain in my legs from being on my feet all day was just the *way life was*. And I was grateful! -
I’d grown up reading stories throughout history and was intimately familiar with how new and different my current lifestyle was. I was happy I wasn’t working in coal mines, or under threat of war, and that there was no famine. I viewed it as a normal feature of human existence-
It's a bit of a weird sensation to realize that the majority of my peers didn't grow up lower class, they mostly went to college and didn't work jobs that put them in a lot of physical pain. I think I unconsciously assumed that there were more people from my class out here.
My childhood life feels mostly invisible here. My childhood best friend has her hands permanently fucked from scrubbing floors for years. Few (none?) of my "highschool* friends went to college. Nobody left Idaho. They're mostly working minimum wage jobs... indefinitely.
Also to clarify I don't think this is specifically a homeschooler thing; the ppl from my earlier-childhood homeschool community from california ended up a bit more typically middle class.
One thing I like about porn is that it's ironically very honest in some ways. It's really hard to lie to yourself about what turns you on when you're alone and looking for porn, and porn culture is often extremely tolerant and accepting of whatever weird shit you're into. 1/
I've been to a few porn conventions and it's a really fascinating combination of showiness and also direct shamelessness. You can't deny what moves your genitals, and so to some degree wokeness and its shame penetrates less in those spheres. 2/
Are you into black teens? Here's a parade of black teens welcoming your jizz. Are you into girls with dicks who try to trick you into sleeping with them? There's a whole booth for that. Do you wanna degrade or be degraded in any way? Sure! It's all kinda gross but also I love it.
Often, beautiful people downplay their own beauty. If you complain about how you don't like x feature, your beautiful friend might be like "I totally get it, I hate a feature about me too."
This is kinda annoying, and also how I feel about productive people. 1/
I often have a deep distrust that people who go "Oh yeah, I suck at being productive too" actually understand what my productivity issues are like. I am suspicious their perception of my difficulties are blinded by them trying to relate through their own, more minor hardships.
Some part of me wants to go "no you DON'T get it. you're acting like you get it but you have obviously accomplished big projects and so I don't trust you or your advice for me" even though I know this response is a little silly.