Covering domestic abuse, I’ve learned that an absolutely standard hallmark of abusive relationships is that abusers treat compliance w/rules as a test of power: they make rules, they don’t follow them nbcnews.com/politics/congr…
I think that explains so much about other dynamics too, including uproars over "PC culture": people feeling like complying with someone else's rules is a sign of low status or weakness, & freaking out
This is what edgelord idiots are trying to prove when they knowingly violate norms around using racist language: that they can get away with not complying, and therefore must be powerful.
There's a similar dynamic at play with apologies and amends after wrongdoing. Abusers say that the way to prevent future harm is to comply with their rules, and *not to ask for compliance or amends in return*
The offer is, implicitly or explicitly, but always clearly, "don't make me mad again, and I won't hurt you again." It's never "I did something wrong & will take responsibility for never acting that way again, no matter what" steil.house.gov/media/press-re…
The point here isn't to call GOP politicians abusers, but to point out that abusers do this for a reason: they've sensed, correctly, that demanding compliance while refusing to comply is an effective way to test and reinforce power dynamics.
The past week in American politics has been an extremely dangerous test of the power dynamics in American life. That test is still ongoing.
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