Thread by @PandaTribune

🚨BREAKING🚨

"Airline Ticket Sales Soar Immediately After CNN Announces Plan To Pull Out of Airports" | The Panda Tribune

(possibly satire... at least for now!😅)
pandatribune.com/post/airline-t…

"Left-wing conspiracy vlog, CNN, announced it would be pulling its contracts to air propaganda in U.S. airports - a move that immediately resulted in a record surge of ticket sales for airlines and flights throughout the country."

(1/6)

"According to anonymous frequent flyers familiar with the matter, this was a “game changer” for their travel plans and the broader airline industry as a whole."

(2/6)

“'Ever since the pandemic, we have been hesitant to travel – not because we’re trying to avoid the virus; but because we’re trying to avoid CNN’s coverage of it," said one clear-thinking individual."

(3/6)

"The Panda Tribune asked travelers if they feared getting sick; to which one of them remarked, “We’re already sick! Sick of those gossiping silly geese on CNN!'”

(4/6)

"We conducted a super scientific survey asking people what program they think should replace CNN's perpetual fear porn punditry. The results were as follows:"

(5/6)

"The Panda Tribune reached out to CNN, but they were too hysterical for coherent comment."

-End-