Thread by @tisaiahcho

Years ago, I talked to one of my former classmates and friends about the spiritual abuse my family received at the hands of a church leader. I still remember him telling me that I should consider all the "good things" that leader had done in planting churches and paving the way

for great things in the denomination. It was as though he was saying that the spiritual abuse my family (and countless other families before us) was worth it in his eyes for the sake of "ministry."

Our friendship ended from that point on. The cost of spiritual abuse

is not just the abuse itself but all of the friendships and support networks you lose through it all. It's the large amounts of people who say they believe you but will do nothing to help you when they have the power and influence to do so. It's the well-intentioned people

whose words end up being Gaslighting. It's the feeling you have for years afterward that you can't trust anyone in the church and that someone you see as a friend one day may stab you in the back as they side with an abuser.

I've lost many friendships through spiritual

abuse, but have also gained new ones that are so encouraging and healing. These new friendships don't make the old heartaches and pains go away, but they are a testament to God's provision.