Thread by @gathara

#BREAKING After collecting millions of shillings from criminals hoping for amnesty, including his own children, far-white US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, will issue mass pardons in final act of corruption before fleeing barricaded presidential palace on Defenestration Day.

#BREAKfirst Having outgoing rulers subvert justice through corrupt pardons to friends and family in the days before defenestration is an ancient and treasured American tradition, designed to heal national divisions by safeguarding the democratic principle of elite impunity.

#BREAKING The issuing of pardons also traditionally helps the new regime start on a fresh slate, unburdened by having to prosecute corrupt officials from the former regime, which provides grist for propaganda efforts to portray the US as a compassionate, corruption-free state.

#BREAKING With less than 72 hours left till his defenestration, it seems likely that far-white US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, whose brutal, blood-soaked reign has seen deaths of at least 400,000 Americans in the last year alone, may, like his predecessors, escape justice.

#BREAKING Fresh exodus of refugees from reclusive kingdom of Britain expected to head for sub-Scandinavian Europe after Brexit peace deal grounds major fishing boat leaving the wet and desolate island without enough fish for one of its few non-boiled dishes - fish and chips.

#BREAKING African experts warn AU-brokered Brexit peace deal could push tribally-divided, ironically-named United Kingdom, where aging queen has clung to power for 7 decades, into anarchy as living standards plummet and 6 million families depend on government handouts to survive.

#BREAKING Under a month after Christmas Day suicide bombing in southern city of Nashville, security officials in US capital, Washington DC, fear insider attack by far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists on traditional oathing ceremony to install new ruler, Joe Biden.

#BREAKING Mogadishu-based security experts say sectarian violence by whitewing Christianist extremist groups has risen in troubled US, with Shite Christianists, who believe dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump to be the true Covfefe, responsible for most terror attacks last year.

#BREAKING British refugees fleeing ethnic tensions on the inhospitable, divided, covid-ravaged island following Brexit peace deal, are shocked to discover they must comply with regulations in sub-Scandinavian Europe, with many saying they never imagined rules would apply to them.

#BREAKING Far-white US ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump, believed to be the divine Covfefe by violent, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist sect responsible for Day of Pigs putsch, reportedly wants a lavish send off showcasing national mood at the thought of his defenestration.

#BREAKING In the wake of failed Day of Pigs putsch, authorities in troubled US are debating whether regular terror attacks by domestic far-white, Christianist extremist groups should be be labelled "terrorism" with many experts worrying that this could make them sound Muslim.

#BREAKING A day to defenestration of Donald "Papa Don" Trump, Uganda demands "credible, impartial and thorough" audit of US poll - citing “credible reports" of gerrymandering, voter suppression and post-election violence - and respect for rights of far-white political opponents.

BREAKING Former prime minister, Édouard Balladur, to be tried for taking kickbacks in decades-long international arms scam roiling corrupt, ethnically divided, sub-Scandinavian European country of France, whose economy is dependent on tourism and remittances from African nations.

#BREAKING Following Brexit peace agreement, France is one of several sub-Scandinavian European countries struggling to contain influx of defectors escaping 70-year rule of Queen Elizabeth II, as well as dreary food and climate, in troubled, reclusive island kingdom of Britain.

#BREAKING Incoming US ruler, aging opposition leader Joe Biden, is putting finishing touches on Defenestration Day speech in which he will issue clarion call for unity to crowd of 20,000 troops and 200,000 flags following installation as president in traditional oathing ceremony.

#BREAKING Anger in London city, on the banks of the Gulu, capital of reclusive island kingdom of Britain, after nations in sub-Scandinavian Europe indicate they intend to read text of Brexit peace deal before ratifying it, bucking approach taken by UK strongman, Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING This comes as unrest brews in separatist tribal provinces of Scotland and Northern Ireland over empty supermarket shelves and disruption to fishing that has forced the beleaguered population to resort to traditional boiled foods, driving many to seek asylum abroad.

#BREAKING Study by Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation urges AU to support Whitish Europe, consisting of nations south of Scandinavia that have long relied on aid from the third world to supplement meagre domestic resources, implement democracy to counter wave of whitewing populism.

#BREAKING Kanegi Foundation study notes sub-Scandinavian Europe, also known as Off-white Europe, needs help to implement democratic norms such as term limits, citing countries like Germany where Chancellor Angela Merkel has clung to power for over a decade and a half.

#BREAKING Kanegi Foundation study suggests that on the tenth anniversary of the Arab Spring, the time may be right for the AU to support what could be the final chance for a long-delayed Caucasian Spring to deliver freedom and democracy to rapidly aging sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Angry that performances at President-elect Joe Biden's oathing may overshadow Defenestration Day, US dictator and ex-reality TV star, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is reportedly considering delaying leaving barricaded presidential palace and livestreaming his defenestration.

#BREAKING Tanzania imposes visa restrictions on US officials involved in "undermining" the troubled North American nation's November elections through intimidation and harassment of election officials and members of parliament, especially those implicated in Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING On Defenestration Eve, US police arrest and charge leader of whitewing, anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorist group "Oath Keepers" with organising Day of Pigs putsch in failed attempt to keep far-white tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, in power despite election loss.

#BREAKING Panic and tantrums within barricaded US presidential palace in shuttered capital, Washington DC, where far-white dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is sequestered with his family, as word spreads that he may not issue long-awaited pardons to his desperate children.

#BREAKING In excerpts of farewell speech issued a day before he is defenestrated, far-white, anti-math US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, clears up confusion over whether the movement he started had actually begun declaring, “the movement we started is only just beginning”.

#BREAKING As Defenestration Day dawns, people across the world are expressing sympathy for long-suffering Americans who continue to endure bad governance, deadly disease, food insecurity, terror attacks and civil strife, and now face yet another test: installation of a new ruler.

#BREAKING US mainstream media is ingratiating itself with the incoming regime of aging millionaire President-elect, Joe Biden, the latest member of the gerontocratic plutocracy that has governed the troubled nation for generations, running flattering portraits of the new ruler.

#BREAKING US autocrat, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, 74, to become first ruler in 150 years to flee capital before defenestration, opening window for Shite Christianist extremist believers in him as the true Covfefe to disrupt traditional oathing ceremony for successor, Joe Biden, 78.

#BREAKING Deposed former prime minister of reclusive island kingdom of Britain, Theresa May, makes ludicrous claim that the belligerent, nuclear-armed nation once held a position of "global moral leadership" that, she goes on to say, current strongman Boris Johnson has abandoned.

#BREAKING Wave of turmoil surging through sub-Scandinavian Europe in wake of English Channel refugee crisis sparked by Brexit peace deal, rocks crime-infested, politically unstable Italy, leaving PM Giuseppe Conte, who has led two regimes in two years, barely clinging to power.

#BREAKING Outgoing US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, pardons dozens of supporters, including violent musicians and anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist fraudsters, even as media reports reveal widespread looting of barricaded presidential palace by departing regime staff.

#BREAKING Official in corrupt first world sub-Scandinavian European nation of Belgium, home to one of the worst genocidal regimes of the last century and where one official kept human teeth from a victim of state terror, convicted of human trafficking and given 8-year sentence.

#BREAKING Incoming US ruler, Joe Biden, will keep and use the dictatorial powers his soon-to-be-defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, abused, dashing hopes for desperately needed reform in the covid-blighted, ethnically polarized, first world, North American nation.

#BREAKING EU chief, Charles Michel, calls for new pan-caucasian pact between sub-Scandinavian Europe and European diaspora as region prepares to welcome incoming US ruler, aging moderate white President-elect, Joe Biden, who will perform traditional oathing ceremony later today.

#BREAKING US autocrat Donald "Papa Don" Trump about to flee presidential palace where he and his family have barricaded themselves since disputed elections in November, narrowly avoiding public defenestration and leaving many fearing attacks from his Shite Christianist followers.

#BREAKING In a final act as he escapes the presidential palace, divisive, far-white US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, rescinds anti-corruption measure preventing former government officials in the graft-ridden first world nation peddling influence after they leave office.

#BREAKING US tyrant, Donald Papa Don Trump leaves presidential palace, escaping public defenestration as he heads to south-eastern stronghold from where many expect him to establish new base for Orange Rebellion and mount far-white Shite Christianist insurgency to retake power.

#BREAKING During transit stop at military base as he flees to the south east, US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump claims credit for his successor's future accomplishments saying his record level of incompetence has created a new floor from which Joe Biden can not help but rise.

#BREAKING US robber baron political elite coalesce around incoming ruler, Joe Biden, calling for unity as they look to reconfigure the networks of corruption and patronage that grease wheels in the unstable, covid-ravaged, banana-exporting North American gerontocratic plutocracy.

#BREAKING More misery looms for reclusive, covid-ravaged kingdom of Britain as heavy storm lashes the island, already battered by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe which has inflamed tribal tensions and created a shortage of palatable food, forcing many to flee.

#BREAKING “I will be watching. I will be listening. We will be back in some form,” warns US ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump as he flees presidential palace for southern stronghold of Florida, in message to radicalized, far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers.

#BREAKING Guests begin to arrive at US parliament building, scene of failed Day of Pigs putsch, for traditional oathing ceremony to install aging, moderate white millionaire, Joe Biden, as ruler of the troubled nation, amid fear of attacks from Shite Christianist extremists.

#BREAKING Euphoria sweeps US mainstream media as journalists and anchors portray oathing of Joe Biden as celebration of the victory of gerrymandered, gerontocratic, elitist, militarized "democracy" over the forces of far-white, anti-math, Christianist extremist authoritarianism.

#BREAKING With less than one hour to find refuge as Defenestration Day unfolds, US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, lands in south-eastern, far-white, Shite Christianist stronghold of Florida from where he is expected to consolidate and relaunch Orange Rebellion insurgency.

#BREAKING Traditional oathing ceremony to inaugurate incoming US ruler, aging, moderate white millionaire, Joe Biden, begins with customary stage of self-congratulation and hyperbolic pronouncements of American greatness as well as appeals to the wisdom of ancestors.

#BREAKING Oathing of Vice President follows prayer, presumably vetted to comply with strict separation of church and state, presentation of military colours to remind all of the violence of democracy, and nationalistic singing of national anthem and reciting of allegiance pledge.

#BREAKING More traditional singing as hour approaches for oathing of Joe Biden. For brief moment, Donald "Papa Don" Trump becomes the first US President to have a non-white female Vice President after oathing of Kamalla Harris.

#BREAKING Joe Biden is now 46th ruler of the US after being oathed at parliament buildings.

#BREAKING Analyst from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation praises inaugural speech by aging US ruler, Joe Biden, says it can be summarized as "I am not Donald Trump". However he points out need to fact check dubious claims of democracy prevailing and America as a beacon to the world.

#BREAKING Analysts say immediate challenge for newly inaugurated, aging US plutocrat, Joe Biden, will be to overcome far-white Christianist distrust of "Islamist" math and science, which conspiracy theorists claim is part of a plot by the Al-Jibra network to introduce Sharia Law.

#BREAKING Relief as traditional oathing ceremony to inaugurate new US ruler, Joe Biden, passes off without incident despite threat of attacks from whitewing, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists who still consider former ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, to be the true Covfefe.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy, Monica Juma, congratulates aging US ruler, Joe Biden, on inauguration; stresses need to pursue peaceful democratic and constitutional reform; and reiterates AU commitment to support American democratization under the Marshall Plan for Democracy project.

#BREAKING Defenestration Day coverage from mainstream US media continues to fawn over newly-inaugurated ruler, Joe Biden, and ruling moderate white, pro-math, Democratic party, in stark contrast to coverage of defenestrated ex-ruler and insurgent leader, Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING US parliamentary leaders offer tributes to new ruler, Joe Biden, continuing American traditions of gift giving and deference to rulers that are at the root of the terrible culture of corruption that is bedeviling the crisis-torn, covid-blighted, first world country.

#BREAKING Many declare new dawn for US democracy following inauguration of septuagenarian, moderate white US ruler, Joe Biden, even as many of the public officials who served and enabled his corrupt, authoritarian, far-white predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, remain in office.

#BREAKING Newly installed US autocrat, aging, moderate white, Joe Biden, continues tradition of rule by decree signing 17 Executive Orders on his first afternoon in office and dimming hopes for democratic reform to reduce the powers of the troubled nation's imperial presidency.

#BREAKING Newly-installed US ruler, Joe Biden, takes office as the strategically located first world banana exporter faces deepening humanitarian crisis with over 410,000 covid deaths and an estimated 50 million going hungry amid looming threat of Christianist extremist violence.

#BREAKING Deadly, virulent strain of coronavirus, first discovered on the inhospitable, disease-ridden island kingdom of Britain, has now spread to over 60 countries, largely aided by wave of UK refugees trying to escape to sub-Scandinavian Europe following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING AU statement congratulates troubled US on peaceful handover of power following defenestration of former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, and inauguration of aging ruler, Joe Biden; says it is a lesson to other first world countries that politics need not be violent.

#BREAKING Row breaks out between beleaguered island nation of Britain and the EU, whose membership is drawn from 27 countries in Sub-Scandinavian Europe, over the status of the EU ambassador following the Brexit peace deal that has sparked the English Channel migrant crisis.

#BREAKING Report from Accra-based Royal American Society says America needs to implement a Deradicalization, Disarmament, Demobilization and Reintegration (DDDR) program to root out far-white Christianist terror groups which have free rein in the country's vast, rural interior.

#BREAKING RAS report urges AU to consider limiting use of drones to target top leadership of violent Christianist extremist groups such as the Proud Boys in remote, hard to reach locations like the white tribal heartland of Wyoming; also cautions against African boots on ground.

#BREAKING RAS report also urges investigation into links between far-white US Christianist extremists and global jihadist groups following arrest of US soldier attempting to help ISIS attack US landmarks including New York City's 9/11 Memorial as well as fellow soldiers abroad.

#BREAKING Analysts warn against presumption that with defenestration of ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump, troubled US had graduated from ranks of autocratic, first world, banana-exporting republics, and was ready to join democratic third world, saying much more needs to be done.

#BREAKING Alphonse Mjuaji of the Kanegi Foundation points out that post-defenestration America still has no plan to distribute covid vaccines or to tackle the country's dire humanitarian situation which has left over 410,000 people dead and millions without enough to eat.

#BREAKING US medicine man, Dr Anthony Fauci, who accurately foretold toll covid pandemic would take on the unstable, oil-rich, first world nation, announces the troubled country will not leave World Health Organization following oathing of new pro-modern science Joe Biden regime.

#BREAKING Thousands of internally displaced people are having to brave the cold in the disease-ridden, inhospitable, island kingdom of Britain following the arrival of Storm Christoph, worsening the refugee crisis sparked by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Burundi is considering appointing a special envoy to North America as international calls grow for probe into US election abuses and violence that left at least 5 dead, as well as for action to counter whitewing Christianist extremism that could destabilize the region.

#BREAKING Experts say US drug cartels that have fueled a national crisis of crime and opioid addiction and made illegal fortunes from price gouging and fraudulent marketing, seek to use covid vaccine to sanitize reputations and win the support of beleaguered American population.

#BREAKING Study shows that over the last 12 months, 1.3 million expatriates have fled the reclusive, covid-ravaged UK fearing the impact of the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, which, experts say, the island's poor diet may have prevented natives from appreciating.

#BREAKING Feared and loathed colonial governor of Canada forced from office as the aftermath of Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe weakens grip of reclusive island kingdom of Britain over North American possession amid wave of political unrest roiling the first world.

#BREAKING The unrest in Canada comes just days after the country's troubled southern neighbour and former fellow British colony, US, also defenestrated its far-white tyrannical ruler who fomented the violent Orange Rebellion and Jan 6 Day of Pigs putsch in which at least 5 died.

#BREAKING It also follows ousting of the government in Holland, a drug trafficking hub in the nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as well as a failed palace coup in politically fragile, crime-infested Italy where prime minister Giuseppe Conte continues to hang on to power.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm as what some say is the beginning of a "Caucasian Spring" sweeps across the Western world, threatening and toppling governments in its wake; says Africa will continue to intensify support for pro-democracy efforts in North America and Off-white Europe.

#BREAKING Kenyan pop music superstar, Ben Githae, who was behind last year's hit Do They Know It's Jamhuri Day in America which raised millions for relief efforts in troubled US, launches project to boost peace, disarmament and reconciliation efforts in the North American nation.

#BREAKING Githae, who burst into the limelight in 2017 with Tano Tena and Wembe ni Ule Ule, plans to use his fame to bring together rival US tribes and is seeking a meeting with newly-oathed autocrat, Joe Biden, and far-white opposition Republican leaders to chart a way forward.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, expected to call Canada's prime minister, Justin Trudeau, to discuss the political turmoil bedevilling the two first world nations following defenestrations of former US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, and Canada's colonial governor.

#BREAKING The two are also expected to discuss the spectre of rising far-white Christianist militancy, especially the threat posed by anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of Papa Don who believe he is the true Covfefe and are foot soldiers in the Orange Rebellion.

#BREAKING Resentful leaders and media in sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America are reacting angrily to criticism from the AU, complaining that African leaders are quick to condemn affronts to democracy in the first world, yet remain silent about events closer to home.

#BREAKING Reports that disillusioned far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of US ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who expected the Covfefe to miraculously escape defenestration, are being recruited by even more extreme whitewing Christianist terror groups.

#BREAKING AU chief, Moussa Faki, calls on newly-oathed, US autocrat, Joe Biden, to allow IAEA inspectors to verify the security of the troubled, first world country's nuclear weapons stockpile, following reports of far-white, Christianist extremists infiltrating its military.

#BREAKING Security experts warn of potential terror attacks during impeachment trial of defenestrated former US ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, by far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists who believe it to be a second chance for him to show powers as the true Covfefe.

#BREAKING Iran welcomes indications that newly-oathed, moderate white Joe Biden regime in US will resume complying with the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, commonly known as the US sanctions deal, an international agreement to limit the illicit US economic weapons programme.

#BREAKING Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, head of Sunny sect of US far-white, anti-math, Christianist extremists, who reject defenestrated ex-ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as Covfefe, may be plotting to declare himself Covfefe and rightful leader of opposition Republican party.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed, aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, calls leaders of neighbouring Canada and Mexico, who have refused to open their borders to Americans fleeing disease, food insecurity and ethnically-tinged political violence in the volatile, covid-ravaged, first world nation.

#BREAKING Biden, a septuagenarian millionaire who took power just two weeks after failed Day of Pigs putsch by far-white anti-math, Christianist extremist followers of defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is ruling by decree and has vowed to stop the exodus.

#BREAKING Tribal divisions deepen in volatile, covid-ravaged US, as the ruling Democratic party of newly-oathed, gerontocratic leader, Joe Biden, tries to bar defenestrated political rival, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, leader of Orange Rebellion, from ever running for office again.

#BREAKING Severe shortage of flavour in reclusive island kingdom of Britain, blamed partly on Brexit peace deal, prompts exodus of desperate British workers forcing regime of strongman Boris Johnson to advise firms to follow them to sub-Scandinavian Europe where food is better.

#BREAKING Foreign policy expert says aging US ruler, Joe Biden, whose troubled, belligerent nation has subverted democracy around the world, wants to reverse Brexit peace deal and force reclusive island kingdom of Britain to follow its fleeing people into sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Opinion poll shows majorities in separatist tribal regions of Scotland and Northern Ireland want referenda on independence from reclusive, disease-ridden kingdom of Britain as Brexit peace deal restricts diet on the inhospitable island to unpalatable traditional foods.

#BREAKING Division in US parliament as far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of defenestrated ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who still believe he is the Covfefe, attempt to defenestrate new autocrat, Joe Biden, and to prevent him undoing Papa Don's legacy.

#BREAKING Shite Christianist extremists also oppose wearing masks, social distancing and modern medicine in general, instead believing in dangerous myths about the Covfefe's miraculous power to cure covid-19 using concoction of household bleach and "powerful" ultraviolet light.

#BREAKING Just ten days after the government was forced to resign, violent clashes break out between police and protesters in Holland, a drug-trafficking hotspot in the nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as a wave of political unrest continues to sweep the first world.

#BREAKING In addition to the Dutch regime, the Caucasian Spring, as some have called it, has claimed the US tyrant and the colonial governor of Canada, prevented yet another term for the German Chancellor who has clung to power for 15 years and almost toppled the Italian premier.

#BREAKING In the island kingdom of Britain, the Caucasian Spring is fanning tribal separatist sentiments already inflamed by the Brexit peace deal, which has sent waves of British refugees into sub-Scandinavian Europe in search of palatable food, further destabilising the region.

#BREAKING Aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, to restrict travel from UK, Ireland, and other parts of sub-Scandinavian Europe as Caucasian Spring uprising roils covid-ravaged Western world. Ban will also target South Africa, which has a significant population of Western heritage.

#BREAKING Over 200 arrested following clashes with police in restive, first world narco-state of the Netherlands, a haven for international drug cartels and one of the world's top banana exporters, as the Caucasian Spring, which has already toppled the government, intensifies.

#BREAKING Dutch police have brutally crushed protests demanding fundamental freedoms, which officials see as embarrassing for the country's progressive king, as he tries overcome the nation's reputation for drug-trafficking by hosting a virtual global climate change summit.

#BREAKING Supreme Court in disease-ridden, ethnically divided US, a third of whose judges were handpicked by defenestrated, far-white, former dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, says he can keep money he corruptly made during his blood-soaked tenure in which at least 400,000 died.

#BREAKING Experts warn of far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist sleeper cell operating in US Supreme Court after judges rule that former ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, whom Shite Christianists believe to be the anointed Covfefe, is above man-made laws on corruption.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions rise across sub-Scandinavian Europe as dispute over diplomatic arrangements between reclusive island kingdom of Britain and the EU, which represents 27 countries in the region, threatens to unravel Brexit peace deal and plunge the continent into anarchy.

#BREAKING Vowing return to the good old days of his youth in the last century, when the US was an industrial hub, aging ruler, Joe Biden, says he does not believe American industry "is a thing of the past" noting the country recently spawned a new industry of manufacturing facts.

#BREAKING Gordon Brown, ex-PM of covid-ravaged, tribally-divided Britain, says the reclusive kingdom risks becoming a first world failed state, as Britons continue to flee a flavour shortage on the inhospitable island caused by the Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Far-white US ex-dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, formally charged in parliament with inciting Day of Pigs putsch as autocratic regime of aging former opposition leader, Joe Biden, who rules by decree, targets political rivals in attempt to crush the Orange Rebellion.

#BREAKING Facing looming shortage, EU threatens to block exports of coronavirus vaccines outside diseased sub-Scandinavian Europe to other covid-ravaged first world countries, including reclusive island kingdom of Britain whose residents have little use for their sense of taste.

#BREAKING Covid deaths surpass 100,000 in reclusive island kingdom of Britain as regime of strongman Boris Johnson inflicts terrible suffering and indignity on the once proud nation whose people are forced to survive on unpalatable traditional diet following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING As the Caucasian Spring sweeps the covid-ravaged first world, for the third straight day, violent, anti-science protests demanding more fundamental freedoms spread across the banana-exporting narco-state of Holland in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING The unrest follows resignation of Dutch government over tax scam that has impoverished thousands of families, with fresh elections scheduled for March. It also comes as ethnic tensions rise over influx of British refugees fleeing local food following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING Caucasian Spring claims another scalp after Giuseppe Conte, ruler of chronically unstable mafia-state, Italy, is toppled days after surviving parliamentary vote of confidence, as the anarchic, disease-ridden nation, plagued by clan-based violence, stares into the abyss.

#BREAKING First African journalist to reach Dutch capital, Amsterdam, ground zero for Caucasian Spring which has toppled governments and autocrats across covid-ravaged first world, reports shocking scenes of violence and devastation following rights protests by anti-science mobs.

#BREAKING In what many US far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists consider a demonstration of his powers, a crucial 80% of whitewing opposition Republican Senators vote not have defenestrated Covfefe, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, tried for inciting Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING At least 17 of 50 whitewing Republican Senators would be needed to convict Papa Don, which now looks unlikely, and vote comes days after the country's Supreme Court, most of whose judges have far-white Christianist leanings, ruled he could not be sued for corruption.

#BREAKING African envoys write joint letter expressing concern over worsening ethnic tensions throughout sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America as reflected in the proliferation of far-white Christianist extremist hate speech and rising ethnic and religious violence.

#BREAKING Defending vote against trial of Covfefe Donald "Papa Don" Trump, prominent far-white, Shite Christianist extremist senator, Marco Rubio, says the US has not matured enough to bring justice to defenestrated rulers, noting that only happens in third world democracies.

#BREAKING In bid to distract attention from his regime's poor handling of covid pandemic, corrupt, far-white UK strongman, Boris Johnson, to visit restive northern tribal district of Scotland despite warning from embattled separatist leader, Nicola Sturgeon, that it is not safe.

#BREAKING Comments by far-white, Shite Christianist extremist senator, Marco Rubio, that US could not try former rulers draw ire of journalists and politicians who point out that nations like France, Italy and Israel had done so despite not being mature third world democracies.

#BREAKING No casualties reported as blast from suspected IED rocks Amsterdam, capital of Dutch narco-state, during fourth night of violent anti-regime protests demanding fundamental freedoms as the Caucasian Spring continues to roil sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America.

#BREAKING Kenya issues travel advisory warning its citizens in the US against traveling outside coastal capital, Washington DC, following bulletin from the North American country's Homeland Security department highlighting threat from far-white, anti-math, Christianist militants.

#BREAKING Aging US ruler, Joe Biden, does not seem to be in any hurry to remove the barricades around the presidential palace erected by his defenestrated predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, raising early fears among AU donors that he too may have plans to overstay his welcome.

#BREAKING After brother's firm promotes relationship with aging US ruler, Joe Biden, on Defenestration Day, spectre of nepotism returns to haunt the corruption-riddled first world country, where rulers routinely give siblings, children and wives prominent roles in their regimes.

#BREAKING Reclusive, tribally-divided kingdom of Britain must safeguard supplies of palatable food and support non-boiled diets following Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, food policy experts say, as Britons flee flavour shortages on the wet and inhospitable island.

#BREAKING As Caucasian Spring revolt rocks sub-Scandinavian Europe, John Jorritsma, mayor of Eindhoven, fifth-largest city in Netherlands which has seen violent pro-freedom protests by extreme, far-white, anti-mathists, says the narco-state could be “on [its] way to civil war".

#BREAKING Concern as regime of aging US strongman Joe Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, targets opposition far-white Republican anti-mathist members of parliament over links to Shite Christianist extremist groups blamed for failed Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Spokeswoman for the populist autocrat, who has issued 40 decrees in less than 10 days since performing traditional oathing ceremony and taking power, says dictatorship is necessary to undo damage wrought by defenestrated far-white former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING Afraid to speak out lest they be branded far-white Christianist extremist sympathizers, US pro-democracy activists and African donors privately worry Biden will follow predecessors and further entrench, rather than reform, the beleaguered nation's imperial presidency.

#BREAKING The EU, an ethnically divided block of 27 covid-ravaged, sub-Scandinavian European nations, backtracks on suspending Brexit peace deal to deny coronavirus vaccine to separatists in inhospitable, reclusive UK where a bland diet has contributed to serious dental problems.

#CORRECTION In a previous tweet, we erroneously implied the EU was exclusively made up of countries in sub-Scandinavian Europe. In fact, in addition to countries in Off-white Europe, the EU also includes at least 3 tribally divided, Nordic nations. The error is highly regretted.

#BREAKING Reports of anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorist sleeper cell operating within US parliament prompt police to ramp up investigations and security for lawmakers even as opposition far-white Republicans see ploy by dictatorial Joe Biden regime to clamp down on dissent.

#BREAKING Angolan-born billionaire, George Osoro, denies funding Caucasian Spring protests and defenestrations sweeping sub-Scandinavian Europe and North America, even as Kanegi Foundation analysts warn instability may spread unless corrupt rulers address covid vaccine shortages.

#BREAKING AU patience with US autocrat, Joe Biden, wanes as he shows no interest in democratic reforms to reduce presidential powers, and improve math skills in election workers, following shambolic and contentious presidential election in which at least five Americans died.

#BREAKING Malawian Countering Violent Extremism (CVE) experts to help regime of newly-oathed, aging US ruler Joe Biden establish deradicalization and reintegration camps for far-white Christianist militants who disavow defenestrated ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump as Covfefe.

#BREAKING According to the International Crisis Cluster in Lilongwe, the first step to deradicalization and eventual reintegration involves getting far-white Christianist extremists to confess the tribal, anti-math oath they believe binds them to recognize Papa Don as Covfefe.

#BREAKING The ICC has proposed a network of camps it calls "The Pipeline" where highly-radicalized, hardcore, far-white, Shite Christianist extremists would be separated from less-radicalized far-white colleagues willing to confess the anti-math oath and reintegrate into society.

#BREAKING As coronavirus vaccine distribution efforts gridlock across
the covid-blighted first world, African experts helping untangle the logistical mess propose the region consider distributing vaccines according to need and scientific advice instead of on the basis of wealth.

#BREAKING Disease-riddled UK vaccinates record 600,000 people in one day, as strongman Boris Johnson tries to halt embarrassing exodus of Britons fleeing teething problems associated with flavour-free traditional diet imposed by Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Myanmar's leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, and senior figures from repressive anti-Muslim regime, including President Win Myint, detained in coup following disputed elections riddled with accusations of fraud, as the troubled country continues slide into first world status.

#BREAKING AU chief, Moussa Faki, condemns military coup in Myanmar, noting that barricades and soldiers on the streets of the capital Nay Pyi Taw, and in the main city, Yangon, are "what we expect in places like Washington DC and elsewhere in first world tin pot dictatorships".

#BREAKING AU chief Moussa Faki urges Myanmar military to return to barracks and urges generals to learn lesson from failed Day of Pigs putsch in troubled US, that violent actions against democratically elected officials are not a legitimate way of resolving election grievances.

BREAKING After EU Commission Representative in Austria, Martin Selmayr, tweets celebrating that only 20,000 Africans have been vaccinated from covid, analysts point out that anti-Africanism is rife in sub-Scandinavian Europe, a hotbed of far-white, Christianist radicalization.

#BREAKING Autocratic regime of aging millionaire US ruler, Joe Biden, is torn over whether to call the military putsch in Myanmar a "coup", preferring to call it an "assault on the country's transition to democracy and the rule of law" due to similarities with Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING The troubled, ethnically polarized, covid-ravaged, North American banana-exporting republic harbours ambitions of global leadership with newly-oathed Biden fearful comparisons with Myanmar may hurt efforts to show it has shed its reputation as a first world "shithole".

#BREAKING Sectarian tensions rise within far-white US opposition Republican party as Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, leader of Sunny Christianist extremists, attacks Shite Christianist rivals over "loony lies and conspiracy theories" that Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the Covfefe.

#BREAKING Corrupt son-in-law of defenestrated former US tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, Jared Kushner, who gained nepotistic appointment to public office, misappropriated covid funds and engineered peace between friendly Middle East nations, nominated for Nobel Peace Prize.

#BREAKING Already buckling under weight of an inhospitable climate, deadly infectious disease and a crippling shortage of flavour which is contributing to widespread teething problems, the dour, reclusive island kingdom of Britain now faces decimation of its fashion industry.

#BREAKING Despair in US far-white, anti-mathist, Shite Christianist extremist circles as it is announced that Stacey Abrams, who engineered their electoral losses in former secessionist state of Georgia, will run against their chosen Nobel Peace Prize candidate, Jared Kushner.

#BREAKING Fears of tribal violence in separatist province of Northern Ireland in troubled, ethnically divided and ironically named UK, following threats against workers enforcing unpopular Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe which is blamed for severe flavour shortage.

#BREAKING Lawyers for defenestrated US ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who faces Senate trial over role in inciting failed Day of Pigs putsch, defend his constitutional right to speak out about interference by "Al-Jibra extremists" in US elections via math and vote counting.

#BREAKING Just year after moving out of his grandparents' house, the UK's Prince Harry, 36, wants his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled the reclusive, ethnically divided, covid-ravaged island kingdom for 70 years, to bequeath him impressive-sounding military titles.

#BREAKING US parliament to vote on kicking anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist, Marjorie Greene, off committees as autocrat Joe Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, moves to consolidate power by orchestrating purge of militant opposition lawmakers.

#BREAKING Greene is a prominent leader of Shite wing of Christianist extremists who believe defenestrated ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the long-awaited Covfefe destined to vanquish Al-Jibra, an evil Islamist network using math to rig US elections and introduce Sharia Law.

#BREAKING Hunger stalks one in seven families in troubled US, says presidential palace spokeswoman, Jen Psaki, as humanitarian crisis deepens in the covid-blighted, first world nation, struggling to emerge from shambolic elections, tribal violence and failed Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Following AU lead, exclusively reported on this channel three weeks ago, Canadian regime designates US far-white, Shite Christianist anti-mathist extremist group, Proud Boys, whose name means "modern knowledge is forbidden", a terrorist entity.

https://twitter.com/gathara/status/1348504295025598464?s=20

#BREAKING Eager to avoid fate of reclusive, flavour-deprived, UK which has seen rising ethnic tensions and exodus of refugees following Brexit peace deal, police in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France arrest head of far-white, anti-EU party, who has campaigned for Frexit.

#BREAKING International Court of Justice to hear case seeking end to sanctions regime created by defenestrated ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump and subject of Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action also known as US sanctions deal meant to stop illicit American impoverishment of Iran.

#BREAKING Coalition of moderate whites and extremist Sunny Christianist extremists in US lower house of parliament strips far-white, anti-math Shite Christianist extremist leader, Marjorie Taylor Greene, of committee posts as aging autocrat, Joe Biden, consolidates hold on power.

#BREAKING British minister says Scotland is better off as part of flavour-deficient UK despite teething problems of Brexit peace deal as independence would bring flood of tasty food imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe to separatist tribal region, obliterating Scottish identity.

#BREAKING After 3 months of anarchy, violence and death, the troubled, first world, banana-exporting republic of US completes count of votes from shambolic November polls, with judge ruling parliamentary race in relatively stable north-east state of New York was won by 109 votes.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy, Monica Juma, congratulates Americans on completion of 95-day vote count from November polls, says determination to uphold democracy despite limited arithmetic skills and a violent, anti-math, Christianist insurgency, was an inspiration to the world.

#BREAKING AU envoy "encouraged" by completion of US vote count, promises African support for journey to democracy, and steadfast opposition to those who would drag Americans back into "the dark days of declaring election winners and crowd sizes without counting votes or people".

#BREAKING Influential Shite Christianist TV anchor, Lou Dobbs, forced off the air in continuing purge of anti-mathist followers of defenestrated far-white ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, consolidates hold on power in the unstable nation.

#BREAKING When covid-19 struck, many thought North America and sub-Scandinavian Europe might be spared the worst, wrongly assuming they had the leadership and know-how to cope without African help. Now they endure repeated waves of infection, according to Echonomist magazine.

#BREAKING Flooding in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France threatens progress the covid-ravaged, ethnically divided country has made in tackling hunger, which is rampant in poverty-stricken districts surrounding the capital, Paris, where many rely on food aid to survive.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed US ruler, Joe Biden, indicates he will not allow ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump to receive intelligence briefings, a courtesy extended to other US ex-rulers, as he continues to root out his far-white predecessor's influence and consolidate power.

#BREAKING Doctors say aging US ruler, Joe Biden, has healed from foot fracture sustained in November while attempting to kick in door to barricaded presidential palace in bid to evict far-white anti-math predecessor Donald "Papa Don" Trump following shambolic, disputed elections.

#BREAKING Fears of return to tribal and sectarian violence in separatist district of Northern Ireland as anti-flavor extremist Christianist militia groups, who reject modern cooking, demand removal of border checks on bland foods from rest of UK imposed by Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING Defiant US ruler, Joe Biden, says his belligerent nation will not return to compliance with 2015 US sanctions deal where it had agreed to international limitations on its illicit impoverishment programme in return for an Iranian offer to slow down nuclear enrichment.

#BREAKING Mounting anger in troubled UK as Brexit peace deal, which has already caused a crippling flavor shortage on the saturnine island, prevents local musicians leaving to tour sub-Scandinavian Europe, cutting off traditional avenue for relief for long-suffering Britons.

#BREAKING On eve of parliamentary trial of defenestrated US far-white ex-ruler Donald Trump on charges of inciting Day of Pigs putsch, analysts see an opportunity for the politically unstable, first world nation to learn lessons and stop the Joe Biden autocracy in its infancy.

#BREAKING Russia and US have agreed to extend the mislabeled New Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty, which experts say does nothing to actually reduce or eliminate their arsenals of illicit nuclear weapons as required by the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, for another five years.

#BREAKING Newly-oathed aspiring tyrant, US ruler Joe Biden, expresses admiration for the "very bright" and "very tough" Chinese autocrat, Xi Jinping, saying he does not consider being described as not having "a single democratic bone" in one's body a criticism.

#BREAKING On eve of trial of defenestrated tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump, AU chief Moussa Faki says purge of opposition leaders and journalists is hurting confidence in US progress and urges talks to prepare roadmap to credible elections and multiparty democracy within 4 years.

#BREAKING Covid-ravaged North America and sub-Scandinavian Europe see steep rise in ethnic killings and attacks on people of Asian descent especially in troubled US where a dire humanitarian crisis is limiting access to food, and in tribally-divided UK where assaults are up 300%.

#BREAKING Myanmar loses investor in cancer-dealing drug industry as billionaire Lim Kaling, based in first world dictatorship of Singapore, vows to sell stake in Myanmar’s leading cigarette producer following military coup which deposed civilian government complicit in genocide.

#BREAKING Ruling party in highly-indebted first world country of US, which is trapped in vicious cycle of escalating debt and expenditure amid deep ethnic polarization and violence and a humanitarian crisis that has claimed nearly 500,000 lives, proposes huge covid relief budget.

#BREAKING Impeachment trial begins in US Senate of defenestrated former tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump on charges of inciting storming of parliament by mob of violent far-white anti-math Shite Christianist extremists during failed Day of Pigs putsch in which at least 5 died.

#BREAKING US human rights activists welcome argument that former rulers and officials who escaped punishment for invading foreign countries and killing myriads including thousands of Americans based on falsehoods, could still be impeached and tried despite being out of office.

#BREAKING Injuries reported in suspected terror attack on health clinic in US state of Minnesota by gunman with improvised explosive devices, as trial of ex-ruler and revered far-white Shite Christianist Covfefe, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, gets underway in capital, Washington DC.

#BREAKING US Senate votes to continue trial of defenestrated ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, for inciting failed Day of Pigs putsch, as ruthless purge of far-white Shite Christianist legislators, journalists and officials, orchestrated by aging successor Joe Biden, continues.

#BREAKING Under pressure from anti-flavor sectarian Christianist extremists in separatist tribal region of Northern Ireland, UK regime demands 2-year extension to Brexit peace deal grace period, so it can remove border checks, allowing unimpeded circulation of traditional foods.

#BREAKING Ex-AU Brexit envoy, Monica Juma, admits problems implementing peace deal between reclusive UK and 27 mostly sub-Scandinavian European nations may be due to confusion over imprecise language about British culinary preferences for dogs' breakfasts, dinners and bollocks.

#BREAKING Wave of violence rocks US as trial of defenestrated far-white ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump begins, with spate of subway slashings in New York City in relatively stable north-east, and armed attack on clinic which killed 1 and wounded 4 close to Canadian border.

#BREAKING Deadly mutant strain of coronavirus emerging out of inhospitable, disease-ridden island kingdom of Britain, where over 100,000 have died, and sweeping the world, already reported in more than 50 countries, could become most dominant strain on the planet, experts say.

#BREAKING Amid purge of anti-mathist Shite Christianist followers of ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump in government, parliament and media, aging US autocrat Joe Biden considers ban on travel to and from south-eastern Papa Don stronghold of Florida on pretext of battling covid-19.

#BREAKING The European Commission gloats that the Brexit peace deal, which has caused a severe flavour-shortage in the UK, will hurt the reclusive, disease-ridden, tribally-divided island kingdom four times worse economically than it will hurt the rest of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING After US autocrat Joe Biden cancels funding for border wall with Mexico, fears grow of mass of refugees escaping deadly disease, ethnicized political violence, and a humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 500,000 in the chronically food insecure first world country.

#BREAKING In unexpected culinary and dental benefits for sub-Scandinavian European nations, food experts note that exports of unpalatable food from the flavour-deprived island kingdom of Britain have dropped by more than half since implementation of Brexit peace agreement begun.

#BREAKING Anti-math, far-white Shite Christianist extremist lawmakers in US parliament reject proposal by autocrat Joe Biden to reduce American childhood poverty, arguing cutting the current figure of 1 in 6 children living in poverty by half would lead to an even worse 1 in 3.

#BREAKING Prosecution rests in political trial of US ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump as new ruler Joe Biden consolidates power in nation once considered one of the more stable in the Western Hemisphere, but has not had respite from death and hunger since democracy was restored.

#BREAKING The political trial and purge of anti-mathist sympathisers from government, parliament and media, threaten to further undermine teetering US democracy, as fears mount that far-white extremist gangs roaming its interior could push long-simmering violence to new levels.

#BREAKING Following Brexit peace deal, Amsterdam, capital of Dutch narco-state in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, overtakes London, capital of reclusive, inhospitable, disease-ridden, flavour-deprived island kingdom of Britain, as biggest regional share trading centre.

#BREAKING Refugee activists condemn regime of newly-oathed US autocrat Joe Biden after it says it will keep policy inherited from far-white ex-ruler Donald Papa Don Trump to turn away asylum seekers at Mexico border, preventing Americans fleeing nation's dire humanitarian crisis.

#BREAKING Concerns rise about moderately far-white regime of aging autocrat Joe Biden in ethnically-divided, covid-ravaged US, which has kept some policies inherited from defenestrated far-white tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump, confounding hopes it would pursue democratic reform.

#BREAKING Shock and anger in reclusive, inhospitably wet, ethnically-divided, UK as residents, forced to survive on unpalatable local food and music, realize that economists and other professionals who warned against Brexit peace deal may have known what they were talking about.

#BREAKING Famed explorer Milton Allimadi, discoverer of the Gulu on island of Britain off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, who spent years living among English tribe, demands end to gastronomic sanctions imposed by Brexit peace deal, citing effect of local food on dental health.

#BREAKING Caucasian Spring revolution roiling sub-Scandinavian Europe sweeps Mario Draghi, former head of European Central Bank, into power in crime-ridden mafia state of Italy, which has not had a functioning government since toppling of predecessor Giuseppe Conte two weeks ago.

#BREAKING Opinion poll conducted in the ethnically-divided, covid-ravaged island kingdom of Britain shows that a majority of Britons, who had been told that the Brexit peace deal was about taking their reclusive, diseased, flavour-deprived country back, no longer want it.

#BREAKING Ethnic and sectarian tensions rise in crisis-torn nation of US, strategically located on border between Mexico and Canada, as Senate prepares vote on whether to convict defenestrated far-white ex-ruler, Donald Papa Don Trump, on charges of inciting Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Security beefed up amid fears of violence by far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist Papa Don followers, who believe he is divinely-anointed Covfefe, should he be convicted and barred from challenging aging autocrat Joe Biden in elections scheduled for 2024.

#BREAKING Experts say Joe Biden regime is gambling that conviction of ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump in US Senate will remove a powerful enemy and prove he is not the long awaited Covfefe, breaking hold over Shite Christianist extremists, though acquittal may do the opposite.

#BREAKING In what analysts say will be seen by far-white anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists as a demonstration of his powers as Covfefe, US ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, is acquitted of inciting deadly failed Day of Pigs putsch by the crisis-torn country's Senate.

#BREAKING Following his second Senate acquittal, sources say frustrated palace insiders in regime of aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, are calling ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump the new "Teflon Don", a reference to a 1980s mafia boss who escaped conviction at several trials.

#BREAKING Acquittal of Papa Don comes amid purge of far-white anti-math Shite Christianist extremist followers from parliamentary committees, the justice system and media, and is unlikely to be end of schemes by Biden regime to prevent him running in elections scheduled for 2024.

#BREAKING US Shite Christianists point to inability of Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, leader of rival Sunny sect, to explain vote to acquit despite holding Papa Don "practically and morally responsible" for Day of Pigs putsch, as proof the latter has powers of the true Covfefe.

#BREAKING In what Shite Christianists see as further demonstration of Covfefe power, Biden regime follows course charted by Papa Don years prior to defenestration, adopting his policies, ruling by decree from barricaded palace, and first resignation after only weeks in office.

#BREAKING Aging US big man, Joe Biden, has used the acquittal of predecessor and rival, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, of inciting the failed Day of Pigs putsch, to justify his dictatorial rule, saying it is a reminder that "[American] democracy is fragile" and needed to be "defended".

#BREAKING UK foreign minister, Dominic Raab, urges long-suffering, flavour-starved subjects of the reclusive, diseased, tribally-divided island kingdom to take a “10-year view” of current culinary troubles, blaming sub-Scandinavian Europe for upholding terms of Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING As he begins insurgent campaign to retake power following acquittal in US Senate, ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump vows to re-ignite far-white Orange Rebellion mounted by anti-mathist Shite Christianist crusadists, calling it "historic, patriotic and beautiful".

#BREAKING Winter storm batters huge swathe of covid-ravaged, politically troubled US, as it struggles to emerge from deadly coup amid dire humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 500,000 and left one in seven households, including 18 million children, without enough to eat.

#BREAKING Mexico and Canada brace for fresh wave of US refugees as massive winter storm affects over 150m people in troubled nation where tens of millions have either already been internally displaced or face displacement if regime fails to stop ethnically-tinged home evictions.

#BREAKING Millions in the tribally-divided island kingdom of Britain could be forced to resort to eating bleached chicken and cancer-causing bacon from troubled US in desperate search for flavour as Brexit peace deal severely restricts food imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Slovenian strongman, Janez Jansa, accused of using coronavirus to undermine democracy, narrowly survives second vote of confidence as Caucasian Spring roils sub-Scandinavian Europe. First vote was scuppered in January after opposition MPs mysteriously contracted covid.

#BREAKING Fearing Caucasian Spring-inspired uprising in covid-ravaged, drink-addled Czech Republic, where 1 in 7 adults is an alcoholic, dictatorial premier, Andrej Babiš, ignores parliament and extends state of emergency giving himself powers to limit people's travel and rights.

#BREAKING New study shows that up to a third of residents on inhospitable island of Britain cannot purchase palatable food from sub-Scandinavian Europe and are forced to survive on boiled, bland, teeth-rotting traditional fare as flavor shortage bites following Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING Outrage flares up in far-white Shite Christianist extremist community on anniversary of mass shooting after US autocrat Joe Biden calls for "commonsense" gun laws, with many saying the country's constitution was written to spare Americans the need to use common sense.

#BREAKING Tribally-divided Switzerland, a thieves' den in the heart of sub-Scandinavian Europe where sexual violence affects 1 in 5 women, to hold referendum criminalising wearing full face veils, 12 years after Christianist extremists successfully pushed another to ban minarets.

#BREAKING Aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, says troubled, banana-exporting, north American first world nation, which has totally failed to hold its own rulers to account for atrocities, to reassert global leadership in hypocrisy by speaking out against human rights abuses by others.

#BREAKING Violent pro-democracy protests spread across cities in sub-Scandinavian European nation of Spain following jailing of rapper over slandering country's monarchy as authorities face down Caucasian Spring uprising that has toppled governments in Italy and the Netherlands.

#BREAKING Deaths mount in troubled US, which has been crippled by ethnically-tinged political violence and a terrible humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 500,000, as winter storm leaves millions more without power or water, many resorting to burning furniture to keep warm.

#BREAKING Mayor of Colorado City in separatist US state of Texas quits after swearing allegiance to Shite Christianist extremist creed, which restricts government help to the rich, as Americans perish from political violence, deadly disease, food shortages and inclement weather.

#BREAKING African charity calls on international community to raise funds to stem biblical suffering in covid-ravaged ethnically-divided US which is struggling to cope with huge storm and legacy of tribalized, unaccountable, violent, corrupt and dysfunctional political system.

Outrage in crisis-battered US as regime of aging Joe Biden mulls KSh1 trillion gravy-laden high speed rail project in north-east, despite hospitals in southern ethnic stronghold of far-white rival, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, going without power and water during deadly pandemic.

#BREAKING Iran's policy of extreme pressure on US bears fruit as the nuclear-armed, Western rogue state agrees to return to negotiating table to discuss suspending illicit economic impoverishment sanctions programme in exchange for slowdown in Iran nuclear weapons development.

#BREAKING Far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist US Senator, Ted Cruz, who had fled with his family to escape humanitarian crisis ravaging his home state of Texas, which has been exacerbated by a huge winter storm, forced to return home after Mexico denies him asylum.

#BREAKING Concerns rise over asylum seekers facing freezing conditions in migrant camp near US-Mexico border as they attempt to flee ethnically-tinged extremist political violence and a deadly multi-faceted humanitarian crisis in one of the world's top banana-exporting republics.

#BREAKING Following severe criticism for fleeing with family to Mexico after huge storm worsened dire humanitarian crisis in troubled US, far-white Shite Christianist senator, Ted Cruz, says he was only trying "to be a good father" and to secure a better future for his children.

#BREAKING Gunfire erupts as police clash with protesters during anti-government demonstrations in Mogadishu led by a former Prime Minister. "These things are supposed to happen in first world shithole countries, not here," laments a protester ducking for cover near Villa Somalia.

#BREAKING Over 200 firms have moved from reclusive, flavor-deficient island kingdom of Britain to Dutch narco-state in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe since the former initiated Brexit conflict with 2016 referendum, the Netherlands Foreign Investment Agency has said.

#BREAKING Experts say study linking likelihood of severe covid outcomes with gum disease helps explain why reclusive, tribally-divided, ironically named UK, where traditional bland diet is associated with widespread dental problems, has been among nations hardest-hit by pandemic.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson announces ambitious goal of cut down to 100 days time it takes to develop vaccine for next pandemic, as African epidemiologists warn that vaccine is yet to be found for deadly plague of stupidity that allows covid to thrive in the first world.

#BREAKING Food crisis gripping troubled US prompts standoff in city of Portland, scene of violent suppression of pro-democracy protests in December, as police try to stop desperate citizens scavenging in rubbish bins in first world country where 1 in 7 families is going hungry.

#BREAKING US observers say police action in Portland is meant to spare autocratic Joe Biden regime international blushes regarding failure to address deepening humanitarian crisis, which has killed 500,000 and forced many, including at least one senator, to try to flee abroad.

#BREAKING Tribal violence aimed at Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in troubled US surges during horrendously mismanaged covid outbreak which far-white Shite Christianist extremists, led by defenestrated ex-ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, blame on Islamist math and China.

#BREAKING Iran shows no sign of relaxing pressure on US to stop illicit development of weapons of mass impoverishment, human rights abuses, and destabilising activities around the world, even as US autocrat, Joe Biden, capitulates and declares "America is back at the table".

#BREAKING Aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, belatedly declares a "major disaster" after 5 days of bungled response to massive winter storm has left at least 70 people dead and millions more without food, water, power and heat, many of them in the southern separatist state of Texas.

#BREAKING Pro-democracy protesters in Spain clash with police for 5th day as Caucasian Spring, which has toppled rulers in crime-ridden Italy and the Dutch narco-state, roils sub-Scandinavian Europe, with many regimes using covid restrictions as cover to crack down on protests.

#BREAKING Shocking even by first world standards, court documents reveal massive scale of corruption in flavour-starved, covid-ravaged island kingdom of Britain, where cabinet ministers, MPs, peers and officials have been secretly funneling government contracts to their friends.

#BREAKING Friends of elected officials and civil servants are 10 times more likely to win public contracts in the tribally-divided nation off the coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe where nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II has ruthlessly clung to power for nearly seven decades.

#BREAKING UK health minister, Matt Hancock, awarded his neighbor Ksh4 billion contract as culture of corruption in the disease-ridden country, where misery is automatically worsened by horrid weather and bland food, skyrockets cost of medical equipment including PPE and bodybags.

#BREAKING As troubled US nears grim milestone of 500,000 covid deaths, African envoys and humanitarian agencies raise alarm over skewed vaccination programme favouring members of aging autocrat Joe Biden's white ethnic group despite smaller tribes being hit hardest by pandemic.

#BREAKING Defenestrated, far-white, former US ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, once again compares the disease-ridden, gun-strewn, banana-exporting republic, where criminal gangs and terror groups have free rein, to third world democracies in transparent bid to burnish his legacy.

#BREAKING US Foreign Minister Antony Blinken assures Israeli counterpart of covid-ravaged, former superpower's commitment to complete equality between oppressors and victims; vows to continue "opposing unfair, one-sided actions" against apartheid states stealing neighbours' land.

#BREAKING Ethnically-divided Spain, a hotbed of corruption and repression in sub-Scandinavian Europe, becomes epicenter of Caucasian Spring revolution sweeping the region with 6th day of pro-democracy protests as demonstrators reject state concessions on free speech laws.

#BREAKING In attempt to change nation's dour image as Brexit peace deal continues to sow chaos in corrupt, bleak, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, auction house Bonhams, in riverside capital, London, on banks of the Gulu, looks back 100 years for "cool" art it can sell.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson announces roadmap to democracy, promising to put reclusive, tribally-divided island kingdom on a "one-way road to freedom" in olive branch to Caucasian Spring-inspired pro-flavour activists demanding end to Brexit peace deal food restrictions.

#BREAKING As they have for centuries, miserable Britons look to third world for salvation from ethnic animosity, torrid weather, deadly disease and an acute flavour shortage on their poorly-governed island, a legacy of restrictive Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Report by Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation shows over 100,000 Americans have died and millions in opposition strongholds denied food, water and electricity in the month since autocratic aging white moderate, Joe Biden, took power following shambolic presidential election.

#BREAKING Europeanist MPs in Kenya's parliament planning to hold hearings on AU-brokered Brexit peace deal between reclusive island kingdom of Britain and 27 countries mostly in sub-Scandinavian Europe, which is blamed for ethnic unrest linked to escalating UK flavor shortage.

#BREAKING In crackdown on Caucasian Spring pro-democracy protests rocking sub-Scandinavian Europe, EU MPs strip exiled leader of separatist tribal region of Catalonia in Spain, Carles Puigdemont, who fled following 2017 independence referendum, of immunity from prosecution.

#BREAKING 40 years after failed putsch stopped by corrupt King Felipe VI, who has since fled to Abu Dhabi, Spain faces 8th day of pro-democracy protests and has become epicenter of Caucasian Spring revolt that toppled regimes in crime-infested Italy and the Dutch narco-state.

#CORRECTION In previous tweet we mistakenly referred to Spanish king Felipe VI, in whose name musicians have been jailed and exiled, as monarch responsible for preventing putsch 40 years ago. That was of course his father, corrupt King Emeritus Juan Carlos I. We regret the error.

#BREAKING Economists warn of risks as parliament in debt-ridden, banana-exporting US moves closer to authorising aging ruler, Joe Biden, to print nearly KSh200 trillion in covid relief funds, some of which will be handed out as KSh140,000 cash transfers to food insecure subjects.

#BREAKING Rising anger in disease-ridden, rat-infested, riverside capital of London in reclusive, tribally-divided island kingdom of Britain, after it emerges that Brexit really meant Brexit, with many accusing counterparts in sub-Scandinavian Europe of reading the peace deal.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson to announce "Bland is British" campaign which will recruit celebrity chefs to encourage consumption of boiled traditional food in push to create jobs in dental industry and counter anti-Brexit peace deal propaganda from pro-flavour activists.

#BREAKING US ex-tyrant Donald "Papa Don" Trump to reassert claim to being true Covfefe in highly anticipated speech to far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist convention, days after endorsement from rival Sunny Christianist sect leader, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell.

#BREAKING Days after "productive call" between US defence minister Lloyd Austin and Mohammed bin Salman, Joe Biden regime punishes the de facto Saudi Arabian ruler, whom it blames for 2018 murder of US resident, Jamal Khashoggi, by releasing devastatingly strongly worded report.

#BREAKING In traditional chest-beating ritual practiced by US rulers seeking to distract from domestic problems, Joe Biden orders bombing of Syria as probe begins into disastrous response to US winter storm that left dozens dead and millions without electricity, food or water.

#BREAKING US ruler Joe Biden calls Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta to discuss the US economy, and peace and security as well as the human rights and humanitarian situation in the food-insecure North American first world nation following ethnically-tinged post-election violence.

#BREAKING In sign of endemic rot undermining development and democracy in sub-Scandinavian Europe, court in Paris, riverside capital of France, one of the largest recipients of African aid, finds former president Nicolas Sarkozy guilty of corruption and influence peddling.

#BREAKING In speech cementing claim to rightful leadership of whitewing opposition Republican party as only true Covfefe, US ex-tyrant and doyen of far-white anti-math Shite Christianist militants, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, demands expulsion of rival Sunny Christianist extremists.

#BREAKING Nicholas Sarkozy, ex-ruler of graft-ridden France in sub-Scandinavian Europe, which Transparency International says has "plenty of corruption scandals that mix high-level politics, campaign financing and human rights abuses", may not go to jail despite graft conviction.

#BREAKING Analysts say Sarkozy's sentence, which may be served at home with electronic bracelet, is first time France, with brutal history of elite beheadings, has held ruler to account in modern era, sparking panic among ruling classes over links to Caucasian Spring uprising.

#BREAKING Fearful of Caucasian Spring and savage tribal bloodlust, French politicians rally around convicted ex-strongman, Nicholas Sarkozy, with chairman of his whitewing, Christianist, Les Républicains party condemning judiciary over "absolutely disproportionate" sentence.

#BREAKING African nations slowly begin to ramp up covid-19 vaccine distribution after allowing time for first world countries, whose failing political and public health systems have struggled to cope with the virus amid rampant corruption and ethnic strife, to get a head start.

#BREAKING Blast rocks town of Bovenkarspel in north of sub-Scandinavian European narco-state of Netherlands, as analysts fear resurgence of anti-science violence with country facing elections after Caucasian Spring protests toppled oppressive regime of Prime Minister Mark Rutte.

#BREAKING The bombing comes just two weeks to scheduled elections called after Rutte government was forced to resign following popular outrage over revelations of massive tax scandal involving impoverishment of tens of thousands of families, many from minority ethnic groups.

#BREAKING Explosion also follows worst unrest the country has witnessed in decades, with hundreds arrested after taking to the streets in violent pro-democracy demonstrations demanding end to restrictions on personal freedoms and lifting of a strict night-time curfew.

#BREAKING African journalist forced into isolation after crew member tests positive for covid-19 following risky expedition into US interior to cover humanitarian catastrophe that has killed over 500,000 as nation struggles to emerge from ethnically-tinged post-election violence.

#BREAKING Police in troubled North American nation of US, which has endured ethnically-tinged violence following disputed presidential polls, including Christmas Day suicide bombing, confirm package left outside polling centre in northern state of Iowa was potentially lethal IED.

#BREAKING Far-white anti-math Shite Christianist extremists plotting attack on US parliament on March 4, two months after failed Day of Pigs putsch, in bid to return defenestrated ex-tyrant, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, whom they believe is the true Covfefe, to power, US police say.

#BREAKING The politically unstable, North American banana-exporting republic, the third most populous nation in the world, is trapped in vicious cycle of ethnic violence, hunger and disease that has killed over 500,000 and left millions more dependent on food aid to survive.

#BREAKING US foreign minister, Antony Blinken, says the troubled country opposes one-sided, "unfair" investigations targeting perpetrators of crimes while letting victims get away scott-free after International Criminal Court announces investigations into situation in Palestine.

#BREAKING Vicious feud breaks within ruling family in tribally-divided UK as factions allied to grandsons of nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled the diseased flavour-starved island kingdom for nearly seven decades struggle to position themselves for the succession.

#BREAKING Palace operatives surrounding the frail monarch have announced investigation into American wife of Prince Harry over accusations of molesting staff in what many analysts see as move by elder brother William, who is second-in-line, to consolidate path to the throne.

#BREAKING Move comes as ethnic and sectarian tensions rise in separatist tribal province of Northern Ireland, where anti-flavor Christianist extremists who reject modern cooking threaten return to violence if Brexit peace deal interrupts free flow of bland food from rest of UK.

#BREAKING Troops occupying US parliament may stay for another two months as moderate-white ruler, Joe Biden, who governs by decree from the barricaded presidential palace, consolidates his hold over the troubled country amid threat of far-white anti-math Christianist insurgency.

#BREAKING US politicians blame evolution for incompetence and corruption that have caused deadly humanitarian crises in troubled nation, with autocratic ruler Joe Biden faulting "neanderthal thinking" and opposition Senator Mark Rubio describing Americans as genetic Neanderthals.

#BREAKING Scientific findings that Neanderthals evolved in sub-Scandinavian Europe and may have had pale skin and red hair, seem to back up US politicians' assertion as the crises, which have caused over 500,000 deaths, are blamed on far-white officials with roots in the region.

#BREAKING US ex-Cabinet Minister for transport, Elaine Chao, wife of far-white, Sunny Christianist opposition leader, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, repeatedly abused her office to benefit family members in the nepotistic, graft-ridden, banana-exporting republic, probe finds.

#BREAKING Ruling family in tribally-divided, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, worth KSh2.5 trillion after centuries of preying on Britons and grabbing foreign land, cuts off Prince Harry as struggle to succeed long-reigning, nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II, intensifies.

#BREAKING Senate in debt-ridden US, which has lived beyond its means for decades, saddling average Americans with KSh10 million in personal debt and Ksh9.5 million in public debt, passes bill letting despot, Joe Biden, print over KSh2 trillion more for local humanitarian relief.

#BREAKING In Commonwealth Day speech marking centuries of foreign aid to UK, Queen Elizabeth II, who has clung to power on inhospitable island for 7 decades, claims Brexit peace deal has elicited "deeper appreciation" of "support and sustenance" flavour-starved Britons receive.

#BREAKING Shock as estranged UK Prince Harry and wife, Meghan, reveal ruling family in reclusive, tribally-divided nation, which implemented colour-bar and apartheid racial segregation in colonies across the globe, was worried their baby would not be the appropriate royal colour.

#BREAKING Anger in reclusive tribally-divided UK following accusations of racism levelled by royal couple against media and ruling family, with many journalists claiming racism could not exist in the flavour-deprived land as it is edited out of national narratives after the fact.

#BREAKING The allegations have shocked the covid-ravaged island kingdom, where it is taboo to criticize Queen Elizabeth II who in 7 decades has created a massive personality cult with even the national anthem being a prayer for her, and her face plastered on banknotes and coins.

#BREAKING Kenya denies asylum to far white, anti-math Shite Christianist extremist, Isaac Sturgeon, who is accused of involvement in failed Jan 6 Day of Pigs putsch in US; deports him back home despite grave concerns about human rights in the troubled, banana-exporting republic.

#BREAKING UK strongman, Boris Johnson, leads officials and media in orchestrated show of loyalty to embattled Queen Elizabeth II and her family following explosive allegations of racism and poor parenting that have tarnished her carefully cultivated image of benign oppression.

#BREAKING US deputy envoy to Iran caught on camera boasting about food shortages, unemployment and economic misery caused by illegal sanctions program, as Iran mounts pressure on the rogue North American, first world nation to comply with obligations under international law.

#BREAKING Across troubled US, state legislatures dominated by far white, anti-math, Christianist extremist Republican party attempt to restrict ability of small ethnic groups to vote in bid to reassure white majority that election outcomes will respect traditional oppression.

#BREAKING Embattled whitewing strongman in corrupt, xenophobic colonial outpost of Australia, Scott Morrison, whose regime is awash in allegations of sexual impropriety and graft, says he did not seek legal advice from solicitor-general for fear it would contradict his wishes.

#BREAKING African explorer discovers second river in sub-Scandinavian Europe two years after Milton Allimadi found the Gulu on the inhospitable, disease-ridden island of Britain. Linda Ibezim was walking her dog when she made the discovery and has named the new river, Sarambada.

#BREAKING UK treasury says taxpayers on corrupt, flavour-starved island, immiserated by inclement weather, bad food, massive graft and job losses to covid and Brexit peace deal, must bail out Queen Elizabeth II after her rental portfolio plummets 0.4% to KSh2.6 trillion in value.

#BREAKING US regime of strongman Joe Biden announces that military occupation of parliament will continue for another 10 weeks under pretext of calming fears of repeat of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch, despite demand by far-white opposition lawmakers for troops to leave.

#BREAKING Brought up on fairy tales of kindly princesses and civilising missions, prominent UK broadcast journalist, Piers Morgan, suffers major meltdown after estranged royal couple exposes shocking realities of life at heart of island nation's land-grabbing royal family.

#BREAKING Prince William, heir to the throne in the covid-ravaged, ethnically-divided, reclusive island kingdom of Britain, dismisses allegations royal family is racist, says he has never experienced any incident where he felt discriminated against because of his skin colour.

#BREAKING Mourners arrested in riverside capital of reclusive, tribally-divided island kingdom of Britain, London, as repressive authorities, still reeling from accusation of racism against ruling family, violently disrupt vigil for woman kidnapped and murdered by police officer.

#BREAKING US foreign minister, Antony Blinken, says the troubled North American nation, still recovering from ethnically-tinged post-election violence following disputed presidential poll, to host international Summit for Democracy to seek help to rebuild its failed institutions.

#BREAKING Analysts say success of Summit for Democracy will depend on whether US autocrat, Joe Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, can demonstrate sufficient political will to pursue democratic reform and implement IMF structural adjustment programme.

#BREAKING UK strongman, Boris Johnson, vows to make the flavour-starved island kingdom a virtual superpower online, harking back to mythical days of greatness in the real world before Brexit peace deal and Oprah Winfrey interview with estranged royal couple last week.

#BREAKING On eve of general elections called following toppling of oppressive Mark Rutte regime, police in the Hague in western Netherlands, a narco-state in sub-Scandinavian Europe, violently disperse thousands of peaceful pro-democracy protesters demanding fundamental freedoms.

#BREAKING Strongman Rutte, who has clung to power in "a caretaker capacity", is widely expected to win re-election in the drug-trafficking hotspot where cartels recruit children to sell narcotics on the streets, and where politics is dominated by the biggest tribe, the Dutch.

#BREAKING Far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist Senator, Ted Cruz, recently denied refuge in neighbouring Mexico while trying to flee dire humanitarian crisis in troubled US, lambasts country's military for promoting "typical" Third World culture of gender equality.

#BREAKING New Zealand calls fellow British colony, Australia, "rogue state" for deporting 15-year old, saying there is no proof it was better for children than the latter which in 2018 was forced to apologize for sexual abuse of thousands of children in state institutions.

#BREAKING "What led Aus[tralia] to decide his best interests were better served by deporting him here?" asked New Zealand children commissioner, Andrew Becroft. New Zealand ranks six from bottom for first world child wellbeing outcomes with 1 child killed by family every 5 weeks.

#BREAKING Rogue, tribally divided UK to increase illicit nuclear stockpile in violation of Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, as regime attempts to distract attention from economic and culinary chaos caused by Brexit peace deal and royal embarrassment that is the ruling family.

#BREAKING US border police hold thousands of unaccompanied children in terrible conditions in attempt to stop surge of desperate people crossing country's southern border as they flee ethnic violence, hunger and disease in the troubled, banana-exporting, North American republic.

#BREAKING Months after taking office in the graft-ridden, ethnically-divided, banana-exporting North American republic of US, aging millionaire autocrat, Joe Biden, who swept to power on an anti-corruption platform following violent disputed elections, has spurned ethics reforms.

#BREAKING African human rights agencies urge international community to condemn moderate white ruler of covid-ravaged, politically unstable US, Joe Biden, for policy of imprisoning unaccompanied minors traveling from non-white countries, with over 13,000 children in custody.

#BREAKING Voters in Dutch narco-state in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe rubber-stamp 12-year rule of strongman Mark Rutte in elections held amid violent suppression of opposition pro-reform protests and ban on political campaigning ostensibly to combat covid pandemic.

#BREAKING Wave of ethnic attacks and killings rocks troubled North American banana-exporting US republic as the country's humanitarian crisis, which has left over 500,000 dead from rampant disease, election-related violence and inclement weather, inflames ancient tribal hatreds.

#BREAKING Mother of two from dominant Norwegian tribe and second female to be Prime Minister of North European nation of Norway, Erna Solberg, forced to apologize and put under criminal investigation for minor violation of covid rules in what analysts see as patriarchal backlash.

#BREAKING Although, in contrast to the majority off-white nations of sub-Scandinavian Europe, the countries in North Europe have made great strides in gender equality, many fear covid lockdowns have led to increased domestic violence and reversals of social gains made by women.

#BREAKING Also know as "Iron Erna" Solberg has ruled oil-rich, ethnically-divided Norway, which has a long history of tribal conflict between the majority ethnic Norwegians, who dominate political and social life, and the deeply marginalized minority Sami, for nearly a decade.

#BREAKING Moderately far-white ex-US ruler, George W. Bush, famous for genocidally inept invasions of sovereign nations on false pretexts, says he is "disturbed" by storming of US parliament by whitewing, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremists during failed Day of Pigs putsch.

@breaking Mother of four who rules over reclusive, ethnically-divided, disease-ridden, flavour-deprived island kingdom of Britain, Queen Elizabeth II, appoints "diversity tsar" to ensure royal household employs natives from former colonies amid claims of institutional racism.

#BREAKING Somalia foreign minister Mohamed Abdirizak urges far-white US ex-ruler and de facto opposition leader, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who as Covfefe commands allegiance of Shite Christianist anti-mathists, to return to capital Washington DC for talks to reconcile troubled US.

#BREAKING Somalia foreign minister Abdirizak says US leaders must not leave the coastal capital until agreement is reached on stemming rising tide of ethnic violence and killings, and on holding free and fair elections which can begin to restore Americans' faith in democracy.

#BREAKING Sources say Ethiopian Prime Minister and Nobel Peace Prize laureate, Abiy Ahmed, to dispatch top parliamentary allies to US to meet with aging ruler, Joe Biden, amid humanitarian crisis and ethnic massacres ravaging the North American, banana-exporting republic.

#BREAKING Violence in former secessionist US state of Florida as police brutally attack citizens peacefully assembling on popular beach amid continuing humanitarian crisis, food insecurity and ethnic violence, in scenes reminiscent of 2020 clampdown on anti-government protests.

#BREAKING Gunman of Midwestern appearance kills 10 at supermarket in second gruesome massacre in politically unstable, ethnically divided, violence-wracked, North American first world nation of US, where many claim cultural connection to guns after decades of government failure.

#BREAKING Mass shootings are part of the local culture in the white tribal heartland of Colorado, with traditionalist far-white Christianist extremists insisting that they are an important rite of passage which would be disrupted by increased restrictions on gun ownership.

#BREAKING In puzzling courtroom strategy, white-wing US lawyer, Sidney Powell, who claimed that terror group Al Jibra had used Islamist math to rig 2020 US presidential election in scheme to introduce Sharia Law, tells jury they would be unreasonable to believe anything she says.

#BREAKING Powell appears to be borrowing from leading Christianist, white-wing TV network, Fox News, whose audience was not fazed by courtroom confession that the host of its most watched political show, Tucker Carlson, did not deal in actual facts about the topics he discussed.

#BREAKING Poll shows more than three-quarters of Atlantic islanders in diseased, reclusive, ethnically-divided, ironically-named United Kingdom find Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe distasteful, most citing severe flavour shortage it has imposed on their nation.

#BREAKING Corrupt regime of UK strongman Boris Johnson to spend KSh18 billion on dubious “Festival of Brexit” to popularize peace deal, including “celebration of British weather” which analysts say may backfire, reminding Britons prevented from fleeing the island of their misery.

#BREAKING Ruled by an opulent royal family, the covid-ravaged Near Western nation is enduring a dire humanitarian crisis which has killed nearly 130,000 and left 1 in 7 people, including a million children, struggling to feed themselves, with many relying on food aid to survive.

#BREAKING White-wing strongman, Scott Morrison, promises culture shift in brutal, sexist colonial outpost of Australia, which prides itself as a land down under where men plunder and vomit, following damning revelations of regime's systematic sexual abuse and harassment of women.

#BREAKING Incompetent police in crime-ridden mafia state of Italy admit suspected drug-smuggling operation exposed in raid on facility outside capital, Rome, over the weekend, was in fact legitimate production of covid vaccines meant for disease-ravaged sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING African humanitarian agencies condemn "immoral" exploitation of crisis-racked, debt-ridden, ethnically-divided nations of sub-Scandinavian Europe as shocking new figures show covid-blighted region continues to export vaccine even as Europeans perish from pandemic.

#BREAKING Autocratic, aging, moderate white US ruler, Joe Biden, in office for less than 3 months of his first 4-year term, kicks off campaign for re-election in 2024, dimming hopes for desperately needed reforms to tackle troubled nation's deep humanitarian and political crises.

#BREAKING Black MP arrested in former separatist state of Georgia after protesting restrictive voting laws passed by opposition-controlled, far-white legislatures in ethnically divided, covid-ravaged US following deadly violence over shambolic and disputed presidential elections.

#BREAKING AU special envoy to troubled North American region expresses "grave concern" for democracy in banana-exporting republic of US following arrest of outspoken MP, enactment of anti-voting laws, and scandal of top journalist abusing political connections to jump covid line.

#BREAKING Shock as supreme court in US state of Minnesota, where nearly half of all women and girls experience sexual violence in their lifetime with most victims suffering their first sexual assault before turning 25, rules rape of unconscious women is not necessarily forbidden.

#BREAKING Days after vowing to run in 2024 elections, aging US ruler, Joe Biden, says he will use dictatorial powers to keep guns from fanatical far-white Shite Christianist extremist opposition supporters in nation's covid-ravaged interior following bouts of ethnic violence.

#BREAKING AU officials condemn latest provocation by US regime after revelations it plans to spend KSh11 trillion on new illicit nuclear missile in violation of Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and as American citizens face dire humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 550,000.

#BREAKING 10 arrested in UK city of Bristol in brutal crackdown on pro-democracy protests as strongman Boris Johnson imposes restrictions on right to assembly on the flavour-starved, tribally-divided island, to prevent spread of sub-Scandinavian Europe's Caucasian Spring revolt.

#BREAKING Violence rocks crisis-wracked, politically unstable, banana-exporting US republic, recently hit by wave of ethnic killings following disputed presidential elections, as security forces confront armed militia just 250km from barricaded coastal capital, Washington DC.

#BREAKING 2 people killed and at least eight injured on Friday as security forces engaged local ethnic militia battling over control of territory in strategically-located city of Virginia Beach, south-east of beleaguered US capital, scene of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Seeking to improve global image after damning allegations of racism, ruling family in reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, arranges for future king William to be named "sexiest bald man on the planet" by cosmetic surgery specialists.

#BREAKING Amid covid lockdown, Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta keeps lifeline open to UK refugees fleeing 69-year corrupt rule of Queen Elizabeth II, who has vastly enriched herself and her family at expense of flavour-starved Britons in reclusive, disease-ridden, island kingdom.

#BREAKING Autocratic, moderate white, US ruler, Joe Biden, to fire dozens of scientists appointed by alt-white, anti-math predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, and replace them with appointees of his own in what regime officials claim is an effort to take politics out of science.

#BREAKING Ex-premier of reclusive, corruption-riddled island kingdom of Britain, David Cameron, accused of lobbying to divert of millions of shillings in covid relief funds to shadowy finance company he partly owned in latest scam to hit the diseased, tribally-divided country.

#BREAKING The revelations come as senior officials are accused of stealing billions of shillings through dubious contracting while ignoring the suffering in the inhospitably wet nation, where the pandemic has compounded a humanitarian crisis that has killed nearly 130,000 people.

#BREAKING The culture of corruption is fueling separatist movements in the north of the flavour-starved country, with a new group, the Northern Independence Party, demanding a state for Northumbrian tribes and UK watchers fearing further splintering could lead to ethnic violence.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions have worsened in the Near Western kingdom following the Brexit peace agreement with sub-Scandinavian Europe pushed by traditionalist anti-flavor groups and which has forced millions to revert to a bland diet blamed for the nation's poor dental health.

#BREAKING AfricAID and Adopt-An-American issue early warning for urgent humanitarian action in several first world countries to stop rising hunger and malnutrition including troubled, violence-wracked US, where 14% of households and 18 million children don't have enough to eat.

#BREAKING Political crises in countries in the near west and far west as well as the strain the global covid-19 pandemic has placed on their dilapidated public health systems, have compounded a widespread humanitarian crisis that has killed up to a million people in the region.

#BREAKING Aging, centre-white US ruler, Joe Biden, proposes KSh220 trillion infrastructure programme that, if passed, would plunge the country, already at the bottom of the Africa Bank's list of Highly Indebted Western Countries, even further into unsustainable debt.

#BREAKING More than 3 dozen illegal immigrants fleeing corrupt, inhospitable, reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain refused entry into the sub-Scandinavian European country of Spain after grueling 2,400km journey, and forcibly repatriated back to crisis-torn UK.

#BREAKING The deported would-be asylum seekers are part of a group of 500 desperate Atlantic islanders from the tribally-divided, Near West kingdom who have been illegally living in Spain after being denied refuge and whom police expect to round up in the coming week.

#BREAKING Knife-wielding insurgent suspected to be of Midwestern origin shot and wounded by police in deadly attack on US parliament less than 3 months after far-white, Shite Christianist, anti-math extremists stormed the complex during failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING 2 police officers also injured in brazen attack using a car to ram building's barricade. The troubled first world banana-exporting republic has suffered regular terror attacks, including Christmas Day suicide bombing, following shambolic disputed presidential elections.

#BREAKING No group has claimed responsibility for attack on barricaded US parliament in which at least one insurgent and one security officer were killed, as ethnic violence ramps up in the troubled nation whose interior is a haven for far-white Christianist terrorist groups.

#BREAKING US police name attacker who killed one police officer and injured another at security checkpoint at barricaded parliament buildings and confirm it is a 25-year old male of Middle Western origin, a region that has seen rise in ethnic violence and religious extremism.

#BREAKING Report by Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation says the US is "a country waiting to explode" due to collapsing institutions, deep polarisation, mass disease, intolerable levels of food insecurity, extreme inequality, ethnic and religious violence; and myopic political elites.

#BREAKING Kenya imposes mandatory quarantine on refugees from reclusive, ethnically-divided, inhospitable island kingdom of Britain after Kenyan expatriates and aid workers are barred from the UK despite sending flowers to help improve the mood in the dour, flavor-starved nation.

#BREAKING Kenya-based child rights agencies condemn brutal, centre white regime of aging US ruler, Joe Biden, for detaining thousands of non-white children in terrible conditions in internment camps established along the crisis-racked, ethnically divided nation's southern border.

#BREAKING US foreign minister, Tony Blinken, says the crisis-torn first world banana-exporting republic, which is hoarding more covid vaccine than it needs and refuses to share with desperate sub-Scandinavian European nations, will not "trade shots in arms for political favors".

#BREAKING TV documentary in diseased, sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, accuses corrupt Emmanuel Macron regime of opening secret restaurants and hosting luxury parties - with caviar, champagne and no masks - as millions experience food insecurity due to covid lockdown.

#BREAKING The ethnically polarized country, one of the largest recipients of African aid, has a history of bloody food riots and a savage tradition of elite beheadings, prompting France-watchers to urge intervention by the international community to prevent wide-scale slaughter.

#BREAKING Kenya issues travel advisory warning its citizens against travel to and within crisis-wracked, covid-ravaged US which has been plagued by chronic political instability and ethnic violence as well as by a dire humanitarian crisis that has killed more than 550,000 people.

#BREAKING Violence breaks out in volatile, separatist, tribal district of Northern Ireland in reclusive, inhospitable, island kingdom of Britain as anti-flavor mobs demand removal of barriers imposed by Brexit peace deal hindering entry of traditional bland foods from rest of UK.

#BREAKING Dozens of officers have been injured in recent days as youth militia burned cars and hurled petrol bombs at police with many fearing a return to tribal and sectarian bloodshed of the sort that plagued the troubled province for 3 decades from the 1960s to the 1990s.

#BREAKING Reiterating popular campaign slogan, "Boiled is British", UK strongman, Boris Johnson, calls for calm in N. Ireland, promises Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe will not be used to introduce flavor or "unnatural" foreign cooking methods into the province.

#BREAKING Tennis tournament for wealthy elites in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, home of cutting-head bread technology, postponed amid anger over TV expose of the rich and regime officials eating cake at lavish parties as masses suffer hardship during covid lockdown.

#BREAKING Separatist leaders in northern tribal district of Scotland vow to push ahead with demands for second independence referendum, as rising ethnic tensions, exacerbated by severe flavor shortage, threaten to balkanize the reclusive, Near Western, island kingdom of Britain.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm in troubled separatist tribal province of Northern Ireland in the reclusive, covid-ravaged, Near Western, island kingdom of Britain following days of ethnic rioting by anti-flavor youth militia that have left dozens of security personnel injured.

#BREAKING Fresh from mediating peaceful handover of power in crisis-torn US following disputed, shambolic, ethnically-charged presidential elections, AU envoy, Monica Juma, heads to the region hoping to broker deal between pro-flavor separatists and anti-flavor traditionalists.

#BREAKING Already embroiled in accusations of racism, embattled ruling family in tribally-fractured island kingdom of Britain is in mourning following death of patriarch Prince Philip, infamous for numerous public episodes of racist prejudice, just weeks from his 100th birthday.

#BREAKING Alongside Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled the flavour-starved kingdom for nearly 70 years, Prince Philip oversaw final decade of formal British apartheid colonialism, including horrific, blood-soaked suppression of freedom struggle in Kenya at the start of her reign.

#BREAKING Keen to not lose crucial far-white, mass-shooter vote, aging centre-white US ruler, Joe Biden, who governs by decree from barricaded presidential palace in coastal capital, Washington DC, imposes token gun controls to curb rising ethnic violence and communal tensions.

#BREAKING 4 members of extremist militant group, Grizzly Scouts, based in relatively stable, far-western US state of California, and affiliated to Boogaloo Bois terror network, charged with destroying evidence related to deadly attacks that killed 2 police officers last year.

#BREAKING Global anti-terror agencies have in the past struggled to take seriously white-wing Christianist terror groups with names like Grizzly Scouts and Boogaloo Bois which analysts say are designed to attract neanderthal thinking populations in troubled, diseased US interior.

#BREAKING Sectarian tensions set to rise in troubled, ethnically divided, violence-prone, gun-ridden US after far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist leader, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, labels former right-hand man, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, a "dumb son of a bitch".

#BREAKING Many militant Shite Christianists believe Papa Don is long-awaited Covfefe who will deliver US from clutches of Al Jibra extremists, whom they accuse of using Islamist mathematics to introduce Sharia Law, while McConnell leads splinter faction that rejects Trump.

#BREAKING Orwellian, corrupt, hardline, whitewing Christianist Emmanuel Macron regime in ethnically polarized, sub-Scandinavian European nation of France seeks MP's approval to declare fatwa against head coverings under pretext of liberating women from their dressing choices.

#BREAKING Police clash with anti-government demonstrators in third night of unrest in troubled, banana-exporting, North American US republic, which has seen a rise in ethnically-tinged massacres and extrajudicial executions following shambolic, disputed presidential elections.

#BREAKING Nigeria, South Africa, Uganda, Kenya to hold talks on the US: Nairobi

#BREAKING Aging US ruler, Joe Biden, to end 20-year military occupation of Afghanistan that has killed nearly 45,000 Afghan civilians, 15 times more than died in the 9/11 attacks, sending remaining 2500 US soldiers home where many face police violence due to their skin colour.

#BREAKING US pullout comes a decade after it found and killed al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, in Pakistan, its stated reason for invading Afghanistan. UN officials say the 20-year occupation has "not substantively" changed the relationship between al-Qaeda and the Taliban.

#BREAKING Afghanistan is living up to its reputation as "the graveyard of empires" with the US, which has instigated murderous wars across the globe, being the latest to suffer the fate of every brutal world power to enter the region, from Alexander the Great to the Soviet Union.

#BREAKING Analysts from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation warns that even as it winds down ill-advised, disastrous occupation of Afghanistan, the US will need help from the international community to address state-sponsored whitewing terrorism and ethnic violence within its borders.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy, Monica Juma, voices support for "European solutions to European problems" as ethnic and Christianist sectarian violence spreads in separatist tribal region of Northern Ireland in reclusive, ethnically-divided, flavour-starved, island kingdom of Britain.

#BREAKING US market indices hit record highs in aftermath of week of violence and unrest following yet another brutal ethnically-tinged extrajudicial execution of a Black man by white police in the troubled banana-exporting republic where ethnic massacres and killings are common.

#BREAKING No claim of responsibility after man of suspected middle western appearance kills at least 8 people before turning gun on himself in latest deadly attack in crisis-battered US, which has been hit by wave of ethnic massacres and state-sponsored extrajudicial executions.

#BREAKING US police have seized desktop computers and other electronic media from home of 19 -year old attacker of midwestern origin who killed at least 8 people, as they work to establish whether it was a lone wolf attack or linked to far-white Christianist terror groups.

#BREAKING Far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist Republicans in lower house of US parliament to form “America First Caucus” bringing together whitewing sexual predators, conspiracy theorists and racist weapons enthusiasts to defend their "uniquely Anglo-Saxon" roots.

#BREAKING Dozens of human rights protesters arrested in violence-wracked US state of Minnesota as authorities crackdown on demonstrations demanding halt to ethnically-tinged, state-sponsored extrajudicial killings of young ethnically Black men by ethnically white police force.

#BREAKING Military troops in US state of Minnesota face off with high school students demanding end to extrajudicial killing of members of minority Black ethnic group by majority white police as African leaders call on aging centre-white ruler, Joe Biden, to exercise restraint.

#BREAKING Kampala mulling visa restrictions against US officials after foreign minister Sam Kutesa accuses Joe Biden regime of destabilizing democracy and violating human rights following spate of state-sponsored extrajudicial ethnic killings perpetrated by police death squads.

#BREAKING Joe Biden regime to deploy troops to barricaded US coastal capital, Washington DC, as the crisis-torn first world nation, where nearly 600,000 have died of disease and ethnic violence since last year, braces for potential trouble as explosive case nears conclusion.

#BREAKING Relief and jubilation sweep troubled, ethnically-polarized US after biased criminal justice system delivers rare conviction of policeman from White majority tribe for on-camera killing of member of oppressed Black ethnic minority in case that sparked national uprising.

#BREAKING Speaking from barricaded presidential palace in coastal capital, Washington DC, a former Black stronghold where many fear renewed ethnic protests and state violence, aging centre-white ruler, Joe Biden, hails verdict, vows to reduce widespread ethnic killings by police.

BREAKING Whitewing official in colonial outpost of Australia, where no officer has so far been convicted for deaths of hundreds of indigenous people in police custody since the 1980s, calls displaying anti-police violence posters in classrooms "nothing short of indoctrination".

#BREAKING Fresh report of ethnic killing by US police as 15-year old Black girl is shot dead in northern state of Ohio, close to Canadian border, less than an hour before jury convicts former police officer Derek Chauvin, a White, for last year’s murder of George Floyd, a Black.

#BREAKING Pressure grows on US authorities to permit international investigation by UN Special Rapporteur on extrajudicial and arbitrary executions, Morris Tidball-Binz, into systematic, targeted killing of people from minority Black ethnic group by majority White police force.

#BREAKING Moderately far-white, Christianist ex-US ruler, George Bush, whose regime invaded and destroyed Iraq under false pretext, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent men, women and children, says he is "troubled" by "the capacity of people to spread all kinds of untruth".

#BREAKING Reclusive, flavour-starved, ethnically-divided kingdom of Britain becomes literal first-world shithole as shortage of public toilets forces Britons, hard-pressed by island's bland, teeth-eroding, boiled diet, to relieve themselves in bushes during vain search for sun.

#BREAKING Beer-swilling Supreme Court judge in ethically-challenged, politically troubled US, which jails more youth than any other country, writes judgment permitting locking up the 60,000 children in juvenile jails and adult prisons on any given day, for life without parole.

#BREAKING US ruler, aging white moderate, Joe Biden, who is yet to acknowledge his nation's genocide against Native Americans or stop its regular ethnic massacres and ethnically-tinged state-sponsored extrajudicial killings, to recognize 1915 massacre of Armenians as a genocide.

#BREAKING Dozens injured in tribal clashes after mob of Jewish supremacists chanting "Death to Arabs" marches in East Jerusalem, illegally occupied by colonial, apartheid Israel in continuing campaign of ethnic cleansing aimed at grabbing land meant for future Palestinian state.

#BREAKING Political tensions rise in ethnically-divided, banana-exporting US republic, which is still recovering from violent, disputed presidential elections, following release of census data traditionally used to gerrymander political maps and steal elections every ten years.

#BREAKING Brutal, corrupt UK strongman, Boris Johnson, whose blood-soaked tenure has witnessed nearly 130,000 deaths, has threatened to have "bodies pile high in their thousands" on the flavour-starved island kingdom if his hold on power is threatened by another covid lockdown.

#BREAKING Septuagenarian, centre-white autocrat, Joe Biden, oldest ruler to address joint session of divided US parliament, to trumpet achievements in first 100 days amid record 170,000 deaths from preventable disease, ethnic violence and police death squads since taking office.

#BREAKING Biden, who rules by decree from barricaded presidential palace, will return to scene of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch by far-white anti-math Shite Christianist extremists for first time since controversial defenestration of predecessor, Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING Analysts from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation, and African reporters who have ventured into the savage heart of diseased, ethnically volatile, US interior, where the Black man faces untold dangers, say Biden's speech is unlikely to win over neanderthal-thinking Whites.

#BREAKING US ruler Joe Biden points at efforts to deliver of food aid to millions of starving Americans and reduce rates of child poverty, highlighting his regime's attempt to address debilitating humanitarian crises that has killed nearly 600,000 people in the last year alone.

#BREAKING In speech denying US and global lived reality, Joe Biden says America believes in equality for all, while vowing to hoard covid vaccines during global shortage, stockpile nuclear arms while denying them to other nations, and deploy armies to intimidate the IndoPacific.

#BREAKING Two women have stood behind a man as opposed to two men in historic first for US parliament, which ranks 67th globally for proportion of female legislators in lower House of Representatives, with women making up just over a quarter of seats.

#BREAKING Joe Biden speech sharply divided US media, with euphoric pro-government factions praising it as visionary, and angry anti-government, rebel journalists excoriating its hypocrisy, and both sides cherry-picking statistics, quotes and pundits to make predetermined points.

#BREAKING Corrupt UK strongman, Boris Johnson, whose regime is accused of funnelling covid funds into pockets of friends as tens of thousands die and creating political slush fund to refurbish his home, says he is the ultimate judge of whether his conduct merits investigation.

#BREAKING Declaration follows calls for greater freedom and accountability in the ethnically-divided, disease-ridden island kingdom, a haven for tax evasion and money laundering, which is suffering crippling flavour shortage due to Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Far-white Christianist extremist minority leader in US Senate, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, demands stop to teaching of ethnically-divided country's accurate history saying "Americans never decided our children should be taught that our country is inherently evil".

#BREAKING Ruling junta in filthy, reclusive, ethnically-divided, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, where few clean beddings and underwear, to air dirty linen in public with Dominic Cummings, ex-aide to strongman Boris Johnson, set to testify before parliament committee.

#BREAKING Reports from far-white Shite Christianist extremist stronghold in South East US show once great Covfefe, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, in twilight hour, makes wild speeches, raves endlessly to furniture, hotel staff and guests, blubbering and blabbering about election loss.

#BREAKING In attempt to cover up massive corruption, regime of aging US autocrat, Joe Biden, strips anti-corruption agency of jurisdiction over widely-abused, graft-ridden, coronavirus economic recovery program meant to provide incentives for small businesses not to fire workers.

#BREAKING Separatist tribal district of Northern Ireland in reclusive ethnically-divided island kingdom of Britain, to mark centenary of anti-flavor colonial occupation, much of it spent under the thumb of nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II, who has monopolized power for 7 decades.

#BREAKING Anniversary comes as Northern Ireland risks sliding back into ethnic and sectarian violence as pro and anti-flavour groups face off over restrictions on imports of traditional boiled foods from rest of the UK imposed by Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING As US marks 10 years since extrajudicial execution of Osama bin Laden, aging ruler, Joe Biden, says the violent, gun-ridden ethnically-divided, North American nation, where police have killed nearly 6,000 since 2015, had followed the terrorist "to the gates of hell".

#BREAKING Troubled, ethnically-divided, disease-ridden US, which has invaded, fought or been militarily involved in all but 3 UN member states and has sanctions on 30 of them, says China is challenging the world order, and acting "more repressively" and "more aggressively".

#BREAKING Mothers' names to appear on marriage certificates for the first time in the history of the reclusive, flavour-starved, tribally-divided island kingdom of Britain, where rigid traditions continue to undergird centuries of patriarchal rule and teeth-eroding bland food.

#BREAKING US police, who routinely kill unarmed ethnic Black men after brief interactions, say armed man shot and wounded while attempting to drive into headquarters of secretive and feared state security agency, CIA, was "mentally disturbed", code for middle western appearance.

#BREAKING US police, who often kill unarmed ethnic Black men in brief interactions, say gunman shot and arrested after long standoff at headquarters of feared cisgender, intersectional, millenial state security agency was "mentally disturbed", the official term for ethnic White.

#BREAKING Cruel, reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, infamous for engineering and exploiting genocidal humanitarian disasters such as the Bengal famines which killed millions, to open free trade talks with India, which has been ravaged by the covid-19 pandemic.

#BREAKING US ruler, Joe Biden, yet to give an on-record interview to an African journalist, is a rare figure in the Middle West: a shrewd, secular-leaning leader with a blueprint for the region and resources to implement it. For all his flaws, the alternatives look pretty grim.

#BREAKING Analysts from the Royal American Society in Accra say Biden, who has ambitions to reform the Caucasian world, toning down the anti-African religious extremism and fanaticism encouraged by his predecessors, has long been a darling of African intelligence services.

#BREAKING Americanists and diplomats in Africa believe Western Christianists can be moderated by exposure to proper electoral politics and that the Democratic Party is an example of what may happen when Christianists are given a chance to evolve in a more progressive direction.

#BREAKING America-watchers at the Centre for North American and Occidental Studies at Nairobi University say the country's dysfunctional politics and unrelenting humanitarian crises are driving many into the arms of violent, far-white, radical, Christianist extremist politicians.

#BREAKING Tense impasse off the coast of tribally-divided sub-Scandinavian Europe between pro-flavor France and anti-flavor UK as authorities in British island of Jersey implement Brexit peace deal, restricting rights of French fishermen in attempt to prevent flavor imports.

#BREAKING Fears of resumption of tribal conflict in sub-Scandinavian Europe, where a fragile peace has held for over 7 decades, as French and UK navies face off in the waters of Jersey, a money-laundering and tax evasion hub that the two ethnic states have previously fought over.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm as reclusive, ethnically-divided, flavour-starved, disease-ridden island kingdom of Britain waits for results of regional and local elections which are expected to embolden pro-flavor separatists in the northern tribal heartland of Scotland.

#BREAKING AU envoys to crisis-battered, ethnically-divided, banana-exporting republic of US warn against moves to roll back democratic gains made by the fragile first world nation following defenestration of dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump in shambolic, violent November polls.

#BREAKING Warning comes after state legislatures dominated by the far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist opposition Republican party, which claims to represent interests of country's largest ethnic group, pass laws to restrict voting rights of other tribal groups.

#BREAKING Aging autocratic ruler, Joe Biden, a moderate White whose grip on power is buttressed an ethnically diverse coalition, has distanced his government from the legislation even as many across the world ask why more moderate Whites don't speak up against violent tribalism.

#BREAKING Analysts from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation say it is crucial for moderate White leaders in the US to publicly condemn the hijacking of their ethnicity by White extremists and terrorists, and to denounce radical White clerics, politicians and journalists.

#BREAKING Ruling far-white extremist, xenophobic Conservative party of populist UK strongman, Boris Johnson, captures seat in opposition stronghold of Hartlepool in special election held following Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, backed by 70% of Hartlepool voters.

#BREAKING Ruling party Majority Whip in US lower house, James Clyburn, urges MPs to vote for police reform bill even if it includes no reform, vowing to not let push for "perfect" law that makes individual officers liable for killing citizens to stand in the way of doing nothing.

#BREAKING Multiple US officials and politicians condemn Palestinians in the Middle East for escalating tensions and violence, saying refusal to recognize right of the Jewish supremacist, colonial, apartheid state of Israel to kill and dispossess them was the root of the conflict.

#BREAKING US far-white anti-math Shite Christianist opposition Republican party strips parliamentary leader Liz Cheney of her post on charges of apostasy for refusal to confess ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump is true Covfefe who will defeat evil Islamist math network, Al Jibra.

#BREAKING Brutal, corrupt, Western-backed Israeli regime, which has been bombing Palestinian refugees it has blockaded in enclave of Gaza, killing nearly 200, including 58 children, to receive more arms from death merchants in gun-ridden US, which has blocked UN calls for peace.

#BREAKING Though claiming to want Israel to stop bombing Palestinian refugees in bid to erase evidence of ethnic cleansing campaigns, hardline regime of aging US ruler, Joe Biden, has approved $735m in weapons sales to racist land-grabbing Israeli strongman, Benjamin Netanyahu.

#BREAKING During visit to Kigali, President Emmanuel Macron of France, the largest recipient of African aid in sub-Scandinavian Europe, begs for forgiveness for past misdeeds by the ethnically-divided nation with a blood-soaked history of revolution, war, plunder and oppression.

#BREAKING Aging, moderately extreme whitewing US ruler, Joe Biden, condemns UN efforts to hold Jewish supremacist apartheid regime in Israel to account for war crimes during recent attack on Palestinian refugees in Gaza which left nearly 250, including dozens of children, dead.

#BREAKING "Some people have no shame" says Joe Biden, ruler of the ethnically-divided, politically troubled banana-exporting North American republic of US, whose regime arms and protects the whitewing Judaic extremist Israeli junta despite its atrocities against refugees in Gaza.

#BREAKING Corrupt, brutal, far-white Israeli despot, Benjamin Netanyahu, who has ruled the tiny apartheid nation for 15 years, starting genocidal wars of occupation to consolidate support for racist regime, clings to power as shield against bribery and abuse of office charges.

#BREAKING After summit with aging US ruler Joe Biden, Russian leader Vladimir Putin to outline measures to contain the rogue, ethnically-divided, nuclear-armed, banana-exporting North American republic which props up a brutal apartheid and ethnic-cleansing regime in Palestine.

#BREAKING Needing to show strength to bolster tenuous hold on power in crisis-battered, Far Western nation struggling to recover from political and ethnic strife, Biden draws sharp distinction between Russia's violation of human rights and his regime's pretense of upholding them.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson, the real power behind aging Queen Elizabeth II, accepts resignation of Health Minister who violated the corrupt, reclusive, ultra-conservative, ethnically-divided island kingdom's strict rules against extramarital affairs during the pandemic.

BREAKING Published images of Matt Hancock kissing aide shocked flavor-starved, prudish British society, already reeling from Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe which has inflamed ethnic tensions in separatist northern tribal districts of Scotland and Northern Ireland.

#BREAKING The UK, an oil-rich Middle Northern nation whose people have for centuries sought to refuge abroad to escape its inclement weather and a teeth-rottingly bland diet, has been hard hit by COVID-19, with nearly 130,000 dead, and is planning to lift restrictions next month.

#BREAKING Lusaka think-tank urges soft landing for tribal district of England, in ethnically-divided, flavour-starved, Middle Northern island kingdom of Britain, as tribal bubble is inflated by irrational, ahistorical and overinflated hopes of victory in continental soccer event.

#BREAKING Kanegi Foundation report predicts widespread anger and despondency unless govt moderates expectations, tackles fake news promising "it's coming home" to desperate English devastated by covid and Brexit peace deal that banned flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Report warns sporting humiliation may push warlike English - largest tribe in corrupt, Atlantic island kingdom ruled for decades by aging queen of foreign descent - into violence, igniting festering anger over warm beer, bland, teeth-eroding diet, and inclement weather.

#BREAKING Famed Ugandan explorer, Milton Alimadi, who has lived among the English and studied their customs, says hopes of miracles increase around 30 July, the most sacred day in the tribe's calendar, during which fevered football commentators chant mantras to spirits of "1966".

#BREAKING Allimadi says generations of English tribesmen yet to experience major football success believe in an ancient prophecy, passed from father to son, promising success in a major international competition will come if they unceasingly chant mantras like "it's coming home".

#BREAKING According to Allimadi, who discovered and named the Gulu River on whose banks the UK capital is today located, cheering for a losing side has evolved into a right of passage for English youth, preparing them for a traditional life of bad food, bad teeth and bad weather.

#BREAKING Aid agencies have proposed allowing the English to win one tournament in the interests of regional peace and international solidarity, a suggestion successfully trialed at club level, where English teams are routinely let to play each other in international cup finals.

#BREAKING However, others warn that letting the English win may inadvertently revive the culture that followed their last victory, with every conversation including references to 1966, and the resulting international ostracism empowering reclusive tendencies that led to Brexit.

#BREAKING In bid to rally international sympathy for proposal to gift generations of English tribespeople opportunity to enjoy at least one international success, aid agencies release video of Queen Elizabeth II's traditional address to the football team.

#BREAKING Tensions rise in politically troubled, ethnically-divided, oil rich, Far West nation of US as rumours spread among far white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist followers of defenestrated ex-ruler, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, of the Covfefe's imminent return to power.

#BREAKING The rumours are exacerbating fears of ethnic violence and come as groups in the banana-exporting, North American nation face off over Critical Race Theory, which controversially asserts that a society that enslaved and systematically oppresses Black people is racist.

BREAKING The nuclear-armed, ex-superpower is still reeling from post-election violence, disease and humanitarian crises that have left over 600,000 dead, millions more hungry, and has been forced into a humiliating retreat from Afghanistan following a 20 year military occupation.

#BREAKING Heat wave in sub-Scandinavian Europe set to get worse in coming days as experts warn of intense blasts of hot air from southern areas of reclusive, ethnically-divided flavour-starved, Middle Northern island kingdom of Britain following rare semi-final win for England.

#BREAKING People around the world have been advised to shelter in place and to try to keep cool by avoiding English people and especially not listening to English football commentators and media, who are expected to release large amounts of greenhouse gases in the next few days.

#BREAKING Growing alarm as many look to corrupt, crime-infested, sub-Scandinavian state of Italy to prevent catastrophic win by England that could fracture tribal relations in reclusive UK and harm global climate by unleashing over half century worth of pent-up hot air emissions.

#BREAKING AU envoys urge crackdown on corruption and nepotism in crisis-battered, ethnically-divided US as reports emerge of exorbitant prices to be paid for artwork by son of aging ruler, Joe Biden, days after revelations of children of top aides getting coveted government jobs.

#BREAKING Lusaka-based think-tank warns brutal, ethnically-divided US may use Haitian President's assassination as pretext to invade and loot country as it did over 100 years ago, in attempt to rescue tattered military reputation following humiliating failure in Afghanistan.

#BREAKING Newspaper in separatist tribal province of Scotland, in flavour-starved reclusive Mid-North island kingdom of UK, accused of fanning anti-colonial sentiment by appealing to sub-Scandinavian European nation of Italy to prevent win by insufferable English in football cup.

#BREAKING Chronically unstable Italy, located in south of Off-White Europe, will face England, where far-white extremists have used Brexit peace deal to impose ban on flavour imports and enforce teeth-eroding traditional diet amid deadly covid outbreak, in European soccer final.

#BREAKING Facing "ultimate test", soccer minnows England, whose loud bark has for over half a century proven worse than their bite, summons genocidal "warrior spirit of generations past" responsible for immiserating societies around the globe, in bid to inspire team to victory.

#BREAKING England, who claim to have invented soccer but have been singularly bad at it, have rare once in a generation chance to fulfill ancient prophecy, passed down from father to son, of glorious win in international competition with fears of ethnic violence should they fail.

#BREAKING In chilling message, nonagenarian English monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, who for 7 decades has headed brutal regime responsible for torturing and murdering hundreds of thousands around the world, reminds soccer team of 55 year wait for major international football trophy.

#BREAKING Aging Queen Elizabeth II, whose family enjoy opulent publicly funded lifestyles even as 10% of the population suffers food insecurity and tens of thousands succumb to disease, fails to condemn violence and boorish behaviour of English football fans in message to team.

#BREAKING Corrupt UK strongman, Boris Johnson, the real power behind the throne, whose blood-stained tenure has killed 130,000, reminds England team that this is first and only time in their lives and in the lives of their countrymen that they will play in an international final.

#BREAKING Relief as crime-infested, politically unstable, sub-Scandinavian European nation of Italy temporarily blocks potentially catastrophic release of hot air emissions from England, home to the largest tribe in reclusive, flavour-starved, Mid-North island kingdom of Britain.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm in morally-deprived southern areas of reclusive UK, after far-white mobs attack children and foreigners whom they blame for major losses of self-respect following collapse of "it's coming home" Ponzi scheme in which many had invested life meaning.