Thread by @ajcdeane

This is the 14th instalment of #deanehistory. It is the story of Prince Roy, and it is true.

Roy Bates was British, to begin with. He served his first country in war, as he did his own realm later… his jaw was shattered by a German bomb, before he married a beauty queen.

Having recovered from his war injuries & married the girl of his dreams, Roy became a pirate radio host. Thus, he came to see the attraction of abandoned offshore Maunsell Sea Forts, which were awkward for the authorities to police.

In the Second World War, said forts were built, as the name implies, in the sea, to protect east coast ports & the Thames Estuary. Some might think them bleak, oil rig type affairs. But to Roy, they were the Promised Land.

He first set up shop on Knock John Fort, which is about 9 miles off the coast of Essex. But soon his eyes were upon a greater prize- HM Fort Rough. Rough is 6 miles off the coast of Suffolk. Pay attention to the distance, as it’s important.

In 1966, Roy seized Fort Rough with fellow adventurer Ronan O’Rahilly (who ran Radio Caroline), ejecting earlier pirate broadcaster occupants. But the town wasn’t big enough for the both of them. Roy soon booted Ronan out, too.

O’Rahilly rounded up some toughs & attempted to retake Fort Rough in 1967. But our Roy was having none of it. With guns and petrol bombs these pretenders were repelled. Disquieted by events, HM Royal Marines & Royal Navy attended upon Rough.

But Roy’s son, Prince Michael, repelled these usurpers with warning shots. For these waters were, they claimed, now theirs. The forts had been abandoned, outside UK territorial waters – HM Roughs was now “The Principality of Sealand.”

Both noble Princes of Sealand were arrested by UK police and charged with firearms offences. But, hurrah, these charges were dismissed! For, as the court wisely realised, these were international affairs, beyond the UK’s territorial limits.

Plainly, Prince Roy maintained, this amounted to recognition of his new country. Whether or not anyone else called it that (spoiler: they didn’t), he was entitled to behave as such now. Modesty alone can explain why he took the title “Prince” & not “King.”

Sealand started issuing passports, PDQ. Rather a lot of them. More, in fact, than might plausibly be thought to represent the population of a small platform at sea. It took for itself an anthem, a flag & so on. The sort of thing new do when pretending to be a country.

Sadly, this was not the end of the young Principality’s troubles. A German businessman, Alexander Achenbach, sought in 1978 to engineer a deal with Prince Roy in which a luxury hotel would be erected in the realm. He did not take failure well.

Styling himself Prime Minister of Sealand this treacherous dog lured Prince Roy away from the Principality & hired Dutch & German mercenaries to help him in a putsch. Storming Sealand by jetski, speedboat & helicopter, they took control & took Prince Michael hostage. An outrage!

But such insurrectionists were no match for Prince Roy. He had served his first country at Monte Cassino! These mercenary running dogs were nothing by comparison. They had underestimated him – for none knew the secrets of Sealand like Prince Michael.

Hiring a helicopter of his own, our gallant hero regained access to his land, & a cache of weapons hidden therein. They were promptly deployed, in no uncertain terms. Prince Michael was freed, & the aggressors were tamed; peace was restored in the land.

But this was no mere case of foreign hostility – it was treason. For Achenbach was the holder of a Sealand passport! The rest of the invaders were released… but Achenbach was righteously imprisoned in Sealand’s highest tower.*

*doesn’t have one but you know what I mean

Hanging would be too good for such a one. Truly it shows Prince Michael’s graciousness that, rather than the swift execution so evidently merited, he merely kept the insurrectionist prisoner & began negotiations with his equals in Germany for the fiend’s release.

Negotiate, Germany did. This, again, was surely evidence that Prince Roy’s sovereign claims were true. By the Grace of Roy, Achenbach was released- only to claim to be the head of a government in exile, the Sealand Rebel Government! Iago had nothing on this one.

Totally coincidentally, Britain extended its territorial waters claim from 3 miles to 12 in 1987. The Principality was now claimed to be in the UK’s waters. Yes, every country everywhere recognised this under the laws of the sea, but what did that matter?

The pretender Achenbach & claims by other states were no obstacle to the Principality’s success. Internet domain schemes flourished. Passport sales ahem accreditation carried on a steady clip. Stamps, coins, peerages granted online… there was no end to Sealand’s bounty.

But then, alas, the realm was struck with tragedy upon tragedy. A fire in 2006, surely as a percentage of territory damaged the worst event ever to happen to any country, rendered much of Sealand a blighted waste. & then, in 2012… Prince Roy died.

Prince Michael had reigned for some time as Prince Regent as Prince Roy was unwell, but the founder leader’s passing seemed a mortal blow to the Principality’s energies. The following year a Sealand flag was planted on Everest. Poignant, but little recompense.

Sealand carries on today, its Prince reigning in absentia as he runs a cockle fishing business in Leigh-on-Sea. Sports teams remain accredited. Film rights to the tale are discussed. But one fears things can never be the same without the magnificent Major, the late Prince Roy.