Thread by @TheDailyMao

1/ With how US policymaking is going, I wouldn't be surprised if these were the headlines for 2032:

2/ "As part of her Woke New Deal, President AOC announced US terms for the America-Pacific Trade Treaty today"

"It will ask China to:
- Accept a $25/hr minimum wage
- Tax 50% of Chinese wages for a trade dividend to families in Florida, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Texas

3/ "It will also ask China to:
- Allow their people freedom of religion, including for members of the Eastern Lightning Church of Almighty Kanye
- Sell all software, ecommerce, and cloud services companies to Amazon
- Sell all digital advertising companies to FaceGoogle"

4/ "It will also ask China to:
- Replace the words 他 and 她 in Chinese with 它, to ensure China uses gender-neutral pronouns
- Disband the PLA and allow US military forces to occupy Chinese bases
- Replace the Chinese police force with the Hong Kong Exile Policing Team"

5/ "Senate Republicans decried the proposal as a 'sellout' and 'capitulation' by 'Communist Cortez', said Chinese wages should be taxed at 80% to support 'America's recovery' and all Chinese companies should also license their IP to US competitors for free and in perpetuity"

6/ "The Chinese foreign ministry did not provide a response to President AOC's request. In other news, Chinese astronauts celebrated their first Lunar New Year on the moon today..."

end/ "...and the Chinese carrier Guangzhou was seen conducting humanitarian operations along the coastline of what was formerly the state of Washington on its way back to its home port in Honolulu, capital of the so-called Free Republic of Hawaii."