Thread by @TessaCoates

Here’s the shorting the bond thing for anyone who’s nose starts bleeding when they try and grasp it: you give me £10 and I go out and buy you a coat, and I say yeah yeah yeah, you’re coat is in my wardrobe, I’ll give it to you later. But THEN -

- I take the coat back to the shop, return it, get my money back, and wait for it to go down in the sale. It does, now it’s £5. I buy it again, give it to you, you’re happy and I made a sweet £5. All the time when you asked where you’re coat was I kept saying -

- yeah yeah yeah, it’s in my wardrobe. But NOW while I’m lying to you that’s in my wardrobe, and I’m waiting for the coat to go down in the sale, some kids from Reddit start buying up all the coats so that now a coat becomes so precious that instead of £10, it costs £100 -

- and I still owe you a coat! So now do I ride out the coat buying panic and hope they go back down to £10, or do I go and get your coat at £100, meaning I lost £90 in the process but at least you stop asking where your coat is -

- and THEN while I’m trying to ride it out, Elon Musk gets involved and tweets ‘everyone buy a coat’, and now coats are so precious they now cost £1000! And I don’t just owe you a coat, I’ve been running the coat racket for years and I owe so many people coats -

- and then I have to declare bankruptcy and then I go on CNN and claim that no one should be allowed to buy coats except me 🧥