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28 Jan, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Home. Greeted by MeanCat. And then Drunk Uncle Orangey showed up for dinner. I might start sleeping in my car at work. Be safer. So many orangeys loose on the streets of our fair city. Also read about permanent fencing at the US Capitol. Please let’s NOT do that. Lots of options
Ahahah. Here’s video of The Extra Orangey and The Lady Orangey making biscuits and nursing on their favorite blanket literally on top of Big Eyes, who’s watching bemused with The Baked Potato. Bliss.
A love for the ages.
Work is really interesting. Have the rare chance to truly dig into a string of cases snd go down the rabbit hole. I don’t take the opportunity lightly. We can help all our neighbors & city by focusing like a laser on gun crime cuz shooters keep shooting. So go get the shooters.

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More from @SkinnerPm

Patrick Skinner Profile picture
30 Jan
When you say it’s ok to point the gun at me as long as you don’t threaten to shoot me & so then you point the gun at me & threaten to shoot me as long as you don’t shoot me & so then you point the gun at me & threaten to shoot me & shoot me but don’t kill me & so then...that’s us
In case it was less than obvious, my point is we somehow have this phrase ‘armed protest’ in our insane country and maybe we need to start with that. Armed protests? We are insane
We say all Patriots need to carry guns. And that all Patriots need to carry guns to protests to show the people we elect (or more likely the voters who voted fo the other person) that we will kill them cuz quotes about trees of freedom and blood. That’s perfectly normal, right?
Read 7 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
23 Jan
And people say there’s not at least two justice systems. Charge them all. If you entered the building through a smashed window or busted door, you trespassed on the most federal of federal properties. Or is accountability & deterrence only for minorities and the poor? I give up.
It’s a gut punch to investigate violent crimes with no resources in my hometown with my neighbors to send a message that we won’t tolerate these crimes & then see the Fed govt with infinite more resources not see the need to send a message that WE won’t tolerate the Capitol riot
There is no excuse not to prosecute everyone who committed these crimes. There are two systems of justice in our country. Has been since the beginning. I hate it. That’s why I so badly want more support for public defenders. We don’t have to be this way. So let’s not be this way.
Read 9 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
17 Jan
Big Eyes, the world’s most lovey detainee, has been moved from KITMO to the Theresa Recovery Center and Spa. She was greeted by her fiancé The Baked Potato and her half sister The Lady Orangey. Also she got an inflatable pillow of love to replace her cone of shame.
The Orangeys have already scaled the spa center after The Baked Potato gave them a tour. They’re openly organizing an insurrection to overthrow me. MeanCat has been egging them on but also calls for preemptive unity & healing if the insurrection doesn’t work the first time Image
PROOF!! Evidence that Representative The Baked Potato surveilled the Spa Center/Capitol Complex and then passed detailed plans to the insurrectionists. IMPEACH BAKEY!! ImageImage
Read 4 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
17 Jan
I will now be referred to as a Naval Academy person because while I wasn’t not accepted I really wanted to go there. You will now and forever thank me for my imagined service. Any thing else is to hate the troops. USA 🇺🇸 (the flag emoji makes it legal).
We have gotten so fake tough guy stupid in this country that we now worship imagined military service. Almost SOF guys ‘storm’ the Capitol. Almost Naval Academy applicants storm congress. Almost adults. From now on I’m an astronaut cuz I wanted to be one but had bad vision.
Let’s change it up so people brag about being a good neighbor. That we accuse people of stolen goodness cuz they’re awful. Help your neighbors today. And then do it again tomorrow. This is the way. Everything else is posturing. Every neighborhood has a Henry. Lots of them. Help.
Read 5 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
16 Jan
In the days immediately after 9/11, my then-brand-new colleagues at US Capitol Police—including the now acting chief and assistant chief—& I lit flares on Pennsylvania & Constitutional Aves in the insane display to ‘deter a giant semi-truck bomb’. Seems so quaint compared to now
A sizable number of our neighbors are so entitled they still think they did nothing wrong literally breaking into the US Capitol. And many more are very violent. We should have been lighting flares to deter them but now no one sees or hears anything but what they want. Bad place
I always had sad giggles when we said out loud our mission: we were lighting flares to keep suicidal semi truck bombers from driving past the Capitol. A great deal of security is theater. Some of it quite helpful. Deters idiots. Highlights the determined. But theater it is
Read 4 tweets
Patrick Skinner Profile picture
16 Jan
Lots of headlines about the ‘American carnage’ on our streets. I just go to and from work knowing the carnage is in our policies and priorities and that we don’t have to be this way. I can’t say much with pure certainty but I can say being a local cop has made me a better person
I tweet much less about work now because often everything I see is a felony. But that doesn’t mean that I believe less in my neighbors. It’s the opposite. I believe more.
In 1991 I was in the coast guard & I focused on people drowning. In 2001 I was with the Capitol Police & then quickly to CIA where I focused on countries drowning. Now in 2021 I’m a local cop where I focus on neighborhoods drowning. And drowning ain’t usually splashy. It’s muted
Read 6 tweets

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