Thread by @JoLuehmann

Policies in regards to church abuse are often set to protect the church from liability, rarely to protect people or any current victims and survivors. They are the appearance of change, a way to look like something is being done, but not a commitment to protecting people.

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If churches refuse to address the theology that fuels the abuse then no amount of policies, trainings or events will actually ensure they are safe spaces for people or result in true needed change.

Want to do better?

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Let’s talk about some of the theology, structures and beliefs that are abusive in nature and enable abusers:

Purity culture is rape culture, not to mention psychological sexual abuse.

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Purity culture leaves people with little to no comprehensive sex education making them vulnerable to abuse. Moreover, it infuses a lot of shame and guilt regarding sex and relationships with others, causing people to not want to report abuse.

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It makes people repress themselves making it more likely for them to act inappropriately and cause harm.

Hierarchical structures that make pastors and leaders be set above congregants and non-Christians create the perfect environment for predators to be able to harm victims.

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It also causes victims of abuse to be afraid of reporting, and causes churches to resist any accountability, the belief is people below in the hierarchy just don’t understand, and those above just simply know better.

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This is paired with the narcissistic belief that pastors and/or leaders are the ones who hold the vision, the ones who hear from God, the chosen of God, God’s anointed, etc. cause for people to want to protect the leaders’ reputation above the well-being of people.

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Then there is the obsessive insistence on obedience, submission, and honor that always flows up in hierarchies. It teaches people that authority figures must be obeyed because it is pleasing to God. Must be submitted to because they were set up as authorities by God.

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And it is dishonor to hold leaders accountable and displeases God. This is all grooming behavior and sets the stage up for abusers not only to thrive, but also to know they’ll find impunity regardless of behavior because “God chose them.”

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Then there is the non-spoken belief that the church building, not the people, are the church. Which causes church leaders to want to protect the organization above protecting the people in it. The belief is that this organization and the leaders in it with their talents,

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do so much for the kingdom of God that holding them accountable harms the work of God. This creates the “need” to cover up abuses under the guise of the greater good.

It communicates God moves exclusively through organizations, and leaders, instead of through all people.

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If one person is harmed, they are causing harm to the kingdom of God. The people are the kingdom of God, it’s not about coercing people to believe in heaven and hell, but caring for people here and now. They focus on getting people to get into a building and say...

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a prayer “of salvation,” while they create literal hell on earth for those already inside the building.

The theology of suffering that assets God uses suffering to teach people lessons or bring them closer to *him* causes victims to feel like the abuse is brought on by God

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and therefore something “good” will come of the abuse, and they just need to be grateful and “forgive.”

Which leads me now to the theology of forgiveness. The belief that God forgave our sins and therefore expects us to forgive our abusers or we won’t be forgiven ourselves.

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And forgiveness is framed as equal to reconciliation, restoration and restitution. We can forgive, if we want to, and still demand accountability, not desire restoration or reconciliation or restitution. Doesn’t mean we aren’t healing or are still bitter.

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But teaching that those who demand justice are just bitter, shames victims for asking for what’s right, and protects the abusers from being held accountable. It rushes to restoration and pretends it’s a testimony of God’s goodness, when really it’s shallow and cheap grace.

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The belief that grace is allowing people to trample over us, to abuse us and harm us and then we just put the other cheek for them to do it again. When the most gracious thing to do is to demand justice.

Teaching that love is not letting anything offend us when love is...

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feeling safe to communicate how something harmed us and being met with support and compassion. Speaking about unity as uniformity of belief, and lack of conflict, when conflict is the only way to grow and learn and do better, and uniformity of belief is...

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a set up to override the agency of those with less power and ask them to bend to the wishes of those with more power.

Then there is complementarian theology that puts women and children at risk of being abused, and makes men feel justified in that abuse.

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Teaching that marital rape doesn’t exist, that our bodies belong to our spouses, that we can’t say no to our spouses or parents, that the man is the leader and we defer to them. It’s all a way to not only justify abuse, but groom victims to conflate this abuse with love!

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Embedded superiority complex. The idea that your interpretation of the Bible, your theology, your expression of faith, is superior and the only acceptable way to engage with God; and everyone else is “dangerous” or “working for the devil.”

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It causes people inside churches to dehumanize those who don’t think like them, which makes it more likely to justify abuse. It causes people who don’t agree to feel ostracized and alone, and justifies harm as “protection,” but really it’s control and manipulation.

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You can change all the policies you want, and there is no doubt you’ll avoid some liabilities. But if the concern is to protect victims, then you have to speak about the theology that causes the abuse, otherwise the abuse will never stop, and people are safer leaving your spaces.