Thread by @Cernovich

A close friend of ours just had his first child in a hospital delivery, God is good, and he’s asking about home births.

“We” (well most work is mamas obvi) had a home birth for our second, and a mid-wife for the first.

Some thoughts / experiences 🧵 👇

We came about home birth by accident.

In 2015 we lived outside U.S., got home, missed the open enrollment period for health insurance. Couldn't get insurance.

We had to pay out of pocket.

We found a OBGYN, but it turned out she would be on leave during our birth.

Now what....

As we were deciding what to do, we watched The Business of Being Born - a documentary about the misconceptions of child birth.

We decided on a home birth, but sorta chickened out, and ended up setting up an appointment at a midwifery.

It was the perfect choice, but....

Whenever you mention home births, people have a bunch of objections. Honestly, they are clueless. We were.

A midwifery is staffed with nurses, they have doctors they can call, and they don't do high risk births.

Yet myths persist, and part of the process was getting educated.

The greatest myth about child birth is how it's treated.

Pregnancy is treated like a medical condition.

TV makes it seem like the water breaks and it's PANIC TIME.

Outside of high risk pregnancies, none of that is true.

Birth is beautiful.

Midwives educate you on the process.

Ours even had a mandatory education class.

I had to take literal classes on birthing and parenting, lol, but learned a lot actually.

You realize that pregnancy isn't a "condition," which is how most seem to view it.

Going to the midwifery was so chill. It wasn't clinical. Felt just like being at your own house.

As part of the process, we also took a class I really recommend

- Hypnobabies.

It's like a master class on mindset, but for pregnancy.

Some stuff we learned:

Hypnobabies (no I'm not sponsored) teaches breathing, visualization, and also reframing.

For example

- "Contraction" is called "pressure wave."

By changing the language, you change how you feel. You don't get slammed with a contraction, you feel "a wave pass through."

When you reframe "contraction" as a "pressure wave," your subjective interpretation of the event changes.

"A wave is forming, it will last 60 seconds, I can handle anything for 60 seconds."

You develop mantras you can use, as well as your partner, and a doula.

A "doula" is a birthing coach, we had one and she was amazing, especially for the first.

Ours was the hypnobabies instructor, so it was a perfect overlap.

The vibe of a midwifery / home birth is totally different from a hospital.

Most don't know beforehand, but there's no guarantee that your doctor will deliver your baby.

(That's not a knock, nurses and doctors do incredible work. It's just a detail to know.)

Vibe for us was...

- Quick note: Of course I know home births have risks. As do hospital births. -

You aren't adding to the conversation by replying with what EVERYONE KNOWS (or "thinks they know") about home births.

So don't do that, or get blocked, as you're not contributing wisdom.

In fact, as foreshadowed above, the most challenging aspect of a home birth / mid-wife was all of the myths and horror stories (usually apocryphal) people have.

People have strongly held opinions on this stuff, even though most haven't done research on it.

Before attacking home births, I would ask you

- Do you know how many non-elective C-sections happen in hospitals, and how that rate has increased?

- Do you know how that rate compares to other Western countries?

If not, then you are clueless, which is OK, but slow your roll.

Back to the midwifery.

These are all licensed professionals. It's not like you just show up somewhere.

They are especially cautious, because in a sense they know they are a target. They can't afford for anything to go wrong.

Low-risk pregnancy women, and they educate you.

They take low risk pregnancies and keep you low risk.

The midwifery taught Shauna how to take an active role in her pregnancy. There are exercises women can do to get the baby in optimal birthing position, for example.

It's a collaborative process between mid-wife and mom.

To give birth at a midwifery, both Shauna and I had to take mandatory parenting / pre-parenting classes, prepping for birth.

Shauna even had to keep a food diary, monitor baby kicks, it really wasn't just show up and hope for best.

Day of birth finally arrives. Pressure waves (called "contractions") were in the right time cycle.

First doula comes over, as it's encouraged to do some of the work at home.

Then off to midwifery for delivery....

After we arrived at the midwifery (this is from 2016), 3 hours later we had our first daughter.

It went well, and midwiferies have partners with doctors / admitting privileges at a hospitals if it doesn’t.

Ask me anything about our experience at a midwifery our a home birth.

This is a misunderstood subject / process.

Glad to answer questions.