Thread by @bethanyshondark

What a hilarious column. The Washington Post should revisit it. washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/…

Remember when I said in May that we’d have no more zoos? That it was unsustainable to keep us shut down from safe activities like walking around an outdoor zoo? And the Washington Post just yuuuucked it up. What a laugh!

What’s ending? Oh, just EVERYTHING THAT MADE THE ZOO SPECIAL. No more programming, no more events, no more concessions, oh, and no more vital conservation work either.

Why is it ending? Oh, it’s funny, actually. It turns out they couldn’t operate indefinitely with zero income. WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?

Another fuck you to all of the people who canceled me instead of using common sense. THIS WAS NEEDLESS. We never, ever had to close the zoo to the public. They could have been operating safely this entire time. You chose to destroy it with your silence and your mockery.

What kind of column could @petridishes follow up with? Maybe about how we killed all the zoo animals and it had nothing to do with saving grandma! Ha!! WHAT A LAUGH!! What amusement!

Maybe @petridishes can write about unemployed concessions workers. THOSE PLEEB SUCKERS! Maybe a column about the no more panda IVF, HAHA PANDAS, Y'ALL GOTTA HAVE BABIES THE NATURAL WAY NOW! All hell, she's still got a job, why bother spending time brainstorming for her?

But in all seriousness, why didn’t the WaPo or any other local publication push back when they kept the zoo closed until July and then closed it again in November? Why did nobody ask why it was necessary or what potential pitfalls would arise?

In March, we didn’t know anything (though it was idiotic to think you could catch any virus outside walking past someone). But as it stretched into May, June, July why was nobody asking what the Smithsonian was thinking? And why stay silent in November when it closed again?

Keeping all of these institutions closed is COVID theatre. With no public health rationale. It is limiting tourism to our area and destroying tourism-dependent jobs and small businesses. Open the zoos, open the museums. Enough with this bullshit. It is senseless and destructive.

And what about local representatives? I know you’re all focused on implementing one of the worst vaccine rollouts in the country but maybe you have time for quality of life issues in our area.

Here’s what makes DC a great place to live: Great schools (that are now all closed). Best museums (all closed.) A top notch zoo (that is closed and will never be the same). Wide variety of restaurants (closing like wildfire). People will wonder the value of this area. I am.