A few more thoughts on Jan 6.
It’s been a month since the evacuation from the Capitol, and I would be lying if I said it isn’t still impacting me.
It's the realization of how much worse it could've been that seems to stick.
It’s been a month since the evacuation from the Capitol, and I would be lying if I said it isn’t still impacting me.
It's the realization of how much worse it could've been that seems to stick.
When I catch a moment of quiet, the nightmares sometimes come. And even in the hustle bustle of the day, I think a lot about how I responded in that moment of crisis.
It is funny how your mind can both be in denial and accepting of reality.
It is funny how your mind can both be in denial and accepting of reality.
‘I can’t get hurt, I’m a reporter. This isn’t about me.’ Then why is my body so clearly aware it’s in danger as tear gas was deployed and then there was the sound of a gun shot fired off nearby. Why did I keep my backpack w/ me in case I needed a physical barrier?
I found myself tweeting through most of the attack as it unfolded.
It was my way of channeling fear, but I also remember thinking it was my one way of letting friends and family know what is happening to my body. My sharing could update them, and maybe silence would be telling
It was my way of channeling fear, but I also remember thinking it was my one way of letting friends and family know what is happening to my body. My sharing could update them, and maybe silence would be telling
That day highlighted how a firsthand account doesn’t make you a perfect witness. I spent weeks saying I didn’t see any rioters before a friend corrected me that we’d gasped walking by them on the ground with an officer pointing a gun over them.
I find myself flinching at random things, a residue of a day that is now buried inside me -- for how long IDK. Ive felt frustrated these emotions don’t go away as fast as I’d like. I have informal support groups w/ ppl who were there & Im also using other resources to process.
I’ve tried to be open about the effects of that day and I'm still learning about them. Far too often, we can go through something traumatic and process it alone. But at times, I’ve had to pull back for my own safety and peace of mind.
Those who work in the Capitol who are Jewish and black have expressed feeling an extra layer of fear after 1/6: Think man in ‘Camp Auschwitz’ shirt, Proud Boys rioters and waving Confederate flags.
It has made some afraid to return to the Capitol. That is not okay.
It has made some afraid to return to the Capitol. That is not okay.
I hope they share their stories and I am happy to pass them along as well. It shouldnt be just those of us who have the platforms to do it.
Another memory: I think about how a reporter friend was far more paralyzed with fear at the start of the evacuation and yet when I asked her to help me take out my gas mask she tried. Both our hands were trembling as we were trying to get it to open.
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