Thread by @demiurgent

We learn a lot of hard lessons in our lives. We are disillusioned, disappointed, disheartened and damaged over and over again, and one of the hardest lessons is this:

Sometimes terrible people make beautiful things.

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Art can inspire us. Art can strengthen us. Art can embolden us. Art can save us when nothing else can. And when that happens, we naturally gravitate towards the artist.

But it's the art that did all that. Most of the time, we don't know the artist. It just feels like we do.

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And sometimes, the artist becomes so bound up in our impression of the art they made that we refuse to see their feet of clay. We refuse to see the ugly side. We want to believe that artist *is* the art they made.

But they're not.

They never, ever are.

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I'm a minor artist at best. Insignificant. And that's fine, because the art I've made has touched some people, and that's a precious gift.

But I'm not any of those characters. I'm not those words.

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I try to make things that are bigger and better than I am, but when I succeed? I'm by definition smaller and worse than what I've made. I try to live my life well, but sometimes I fail. We all do.

But some people? Some people don't try.

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They make beautiful things while living a terrible life, hurting people and honestly not caring. Often, they believe their own hype.

They believe that they're the beauty and the inspiration, instead of the art that they've made.

They believe that excuses everything else.

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But it doesn't. It just doesn't. I know I've hurt people in my life, just like we all have. And I know nothing I write or create will ever justify or excuse the pain I've caused whether it was intentional or not. It's my responsibility to fix, and my work doesn't absolve me.

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Sometimes, terrible people make beautiful things. Sometimes, they think that makes them beautiful, and washes away the terrible.

But the truth is... the terrible can wash away the beauty of what you've made, not vice versa.

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Every time I see someone rant about how someone's "destroying their childhood" because they cast women or People of Color instead of white men in a remake or tried something different, I get angry, because none of that destroys anything.

We see that over and over again.

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Part of my childhood was destroyed when I learned what Bill Cosby did to some of the people in his life. The Cosby Show, I Spy, Bill Cosby: Himself? Those were formative for me, and they're *gone.* I can't watch them or think about them now.

Cosby did that. No one else.

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I loved the movie "Superman Returns." I love Brandon Routh and his interpretation of one of the most important fictional characters in my life.

"Man of Steel" didn't destroy any of that. No, that (allegedly) took Bryan Singer and Kevin Spacey.

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And you know what? "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" didn't mean that much to me. It was fine, but it wasn't a thing. But "Firefly" was. "Serenity" was. "Doctor Horrible" was. "The Avengers" And "Age of Ultron" were. These things *mean* something to me.

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And you know what? Ray Fisher had nothing to gain and everything to lose by speaking out. And he did, indeed, lose a lot. Charisma Carpenter had nothing to gain and everything to lose by speaking out, and we'll see what happens.

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And again-I have to put the word 'allegedly' in here. I believe them, but nothing's proven as yet. But they have nothing to gain by lying, and I believe them. And I believe they're not the only victims.

And someone being FUCKING GOOD AT WRITING BANTER DOESN'T EXCUSE IT!

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I believe in redemption. I do. I believe people *can* be redeemed. But redemption doesn't come from a quirky character or a solid understanding of archetype, or even a brilliant, beautiful story, movie, or show. It comes from WORKING FOR ATONEMENT, or it doesn't come at all.

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That's what a FUCKING DESTROYED CHILDHOOD looks like. Not mine. I was an adult when all that came out, though it meant a lot to me. But so many people grew up being inspired and believing in those beautiful works of art.

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And an epic lack of contrition or acknowledgement… a belief that those beautiful, inspirational pieces of art pardons all of it without even needing to admit it? That takes those beautiful, important, foundational pieces of millions of childhoods and TEARS RIGHT INTO THEM.

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And I know. I know. Plenty of people will rush to defend and 'absolve' him because they like the art he made and refuse to accept that sometimes TERRIBLE PEOPLE CAN MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS. And that will help entangle those beautiful things inexorably with that ugliness.

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And all those people who wanted to believe the artist was equal to the art and grew up believing in him? A sacred part of themselves gets violated as a result. They get to be victims, too. They get to lose something that means the world to them.

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I'm not a significant artist, and I know it. But if something I've created resonates with you, and you learn I've hurt someone, intentionally or not? Then I give you that thing you love. The responsibility for atonement is mine and mine alone.

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And I hope-I truly, deeply hope-that I've never done anything like that. That I've never caused someone that kind of pain. But if I have, then I have to live with it, acknowledge it, and do what I can to make it better, with no promise that forgiveness will ever come.

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And let's be clear about something. I have hurt people. We all have. And the pain I've caused is on me. I've certainly had to beg forgiveness before, and I pray my faults aren't systemic.

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And yeah. I'm angry. I'm angry over the things I loved that have been tainted by selfishness and venality. I'm angry over the irrational guilt I feel for having ever loved certain things. I'm angry for forgetting *again* that terrible people can make beautiful things.

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Now, there are three slightly brighter points to all this. They don't make anything better, but they exist and they deserve to be mentioned.

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The first is simple. Truly great art outlives its creator. The day will come when only a few experts or historians will remember the artist, but the art can go on.

There are plenty of examples of great art through history that endure though the creating artist was terrible.

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The second is painful now, but is hopeful for the future: this keeps happening, over and over again, right now... because we have an unprecedented ability to communicate with each other. So terrible things that would be hidden forever in any other era are coming out.

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And that means that slowly, ever so slowly, at least people will learn that terrible things have consequences and will either learn a better way or at least learn not to do it even if they think they have the right.

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Finally, the third is this. No one has to stay terrible. You can *always* at least seek forgiveness and atonement.

No one has to give it to you, mind, but acknowledgement and honest contrition can at least start to help the victims.

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I'll stop ranting now, but I do want to say two last things.

The first is this. If what I'm saying is *pissing you off?* If you want to tear into me and demand I take all this back?

Then you've been hurt by this person's acts too, and you deserve to both know it and heal.

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The second? And this is hard for a lot of people to hear?

It's still okay to love that beautiful thing. That beautiful thing is still bigger than that terrible person, and it's *all right* to love it and be inspired by it.

But you have to separate the art from the artist.

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Sometimes we can't manage it. I'll never be able to watch the Cosby Show or I Spy without feeling sick again. But if you can, even knowing what Cosby did? (And make no mistake? He ADMITTED it. He just thinks it's no big deal.) Then you get to have that.

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You can hate transphobia and still love Harry Potter. You can hate homophobia and still love "Ender's Game." You can hate racism and sexism and still love -- and take feminist, inclusionary inspiration from -- "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

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Even if some people get really angry at you? You get that. And it doesn't make you terrible. It doesn't make you complicit.

It's yours. And that's okay, even if the creator disgusts you.

Sometimes terrible people make beautiful things. Those things can still inspire us.

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And maybe, just maybe? It'll inspire that creator too, and they'll start to work at being less terrible and trying to make up for the harm they've caused.

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Good luck. Good luck to us all. I'll get back to japes and jokes later. Promise.

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Since I wrote this earlier today, @amber_benson, @RealMichelleT, and @SarahMGellar have all come out in support of @AllCharisma. Also, Charisma Carpenter's told her story for years before this, and I should make that clear.

I should also make as clear as possible, as I stated before, that I believe @AllCharisma and I believe @ray8fisher. What I did not explicitly say was #IStandWithRayFisher and #IStandWithCharismaCarpenter .

Their courage is more inspiring than any movie I've ever seen.