Chess variants I made up because I can’t sleep: a thread.

HOPPY CHESS: knights now move like pawns. Pawns now move like knights.
SUICIDE KINGS: the goal is still to checkmate your opponent’s king, BUT ALSO, you control your opponent’s king instead of your own.
LIFTING CHESS: this is just chess but the pieces are very heavy. Pawns weigh ten pounds, kings weigh 60. You can’t take a piece unless you can lift it. You have to pick up your opponent’s king to checkmate
HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE: king can swap places with either of his rooks at any time. No limit on frequency
CHAOS CHESS: you choose a color king to defeat, but control all pieces of both colors on the right or left side of the board. This means when a piece travel’s to your opponent’s half, they can use it. Still have to be opposite colors to take pieces though
THE AMERICAN DREAM: any piece can be promoted when it reaches the opposite end of the board, except for kings.
TERM LIMITS: every ten moves players must declare a new piece “king.” New “kings” maintain former movement rules, but are now the piece that must be checkmated.
CHUBBY BUNNY: every time you take a piece you have to put it in your mouth. If it won’t fit you can’t take it.
BATTLE ROYALE: 32 players each control a single piece. Last piece standing wins.
THE PIECES HAVE GUNS: each piece can capture pieces on squares they can legally move to, without actually moving.

Capturing in this way exhausts the player’s turn for the round though
OKAY my beloved spouse and daily chess partner is telling me to try to go to sleep again. I may post more ridiculous chess variants tomorrow.
A couple more chess variants I came up with as I was drifting off to sleep.

CONTRACT KILLERS: all pieces can checkmate, but each piece can only capture other pieces of its type (pawns take pawns, knights take knights, etc.)
BROKEN SPAWNER: each player is only allowed to have one captured piece at a time. Every time a second piece is captured, the capturing player must put one of the pieces back in a valid starting location for that piece.
TRAP DOOR: before the game, each player writes down a square on the board that has a secret trap door. Any piece that moves onto that square will automatically be captured. Reveal the trap door the 1st time any piece moves onto that square. The trap door remains active afterwards

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