Three years ago today, I was icing my knuckles because I’d beaten the fuck out of a man who had groped me in a club a couple of nights before. I wrote about it in my new essay feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as… 📷 @rerutled #IBeatMyAssaulter Mona’s hand in a bowl of ice. Her forearm can be seen with
After I explained to a club manager what had happened, he ooked at my Beloved and asked me “Why didn’t you let your husband take care of it?” I almost beat him up too.

“First of all, he’s not my husband. Also, this is my body, I take care of it.” feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
Patriarchy enables and protects men who sexually assault women, and it demands that only other men “protect” us.

As long as we obey and behave in ways it approves of, of course. Protection is conditional.Because if we disobey, ha! I don't want to be protected. I want to be free
I started #IBeatMyAssaulter and women from around the world shared stories.

Five days earlier, I had started #MosqueMeToo to talk about being sexually assaulted during pilgrimage and women from around the world shared stories 🎥 @rerutled
And between the two #, men were showing me how easily the goal posts can move.

Under #MosqueMeToo men asked me, “Why didn’t you make more of a fuss?” Under #IBeatMyAssaulter men said, “You made too much of a fuss. You were too violent. Don’t you think you overreacted?”
It didn't matter: hijab or tank top, a man’s hands still found me.

If at most sacred of temples-holiest site of my religion-I am not safe from predatory hands, where am I safe? If at most secular of temples-a club-predatory men also insist on assaulting us, where are we safe?
And now with spike in intimate partner terrorism during the pandemic: I wonder why those abusive men never fear that those women they live with could poison their food or simply kill them in their sleep for being abusive fucks. (From 2020) 🎥 @rerutled
I am not asking that question to put the burden of fighting back on women. Many do, and they are punished more severely for fighting back than are the men who beat/assault them. Prisons around the world are full of women who fight back & streets are full of men who assaulted them
I know that we can’t always fight back. My priority is to survive. I never want what I have shared here to make anyone feel guilty for not beating up her assaulter.

I also know that we are not socialized to fight back. We are not taught to fight back. feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
Men are not socialized to expect us to fight back.

How long must we wait until men stop beating and murdering us, even under #COVID19 lockdown? Where is the vaccine against that violence?

🎥 @rerutled
I am glad I found my assaulter. I sat on top of him & I punched & I punched & I punched his face. And I yelled at him “Don’t you ever touch a woman like that again!”I wanted him to know that next time he thought he could assault a woman, she too could beat the fuck out of him.
When I stopped, the fucking asshole stood up and turned to look at me. I looked right back at him. I wanted him to see this average height woman and remember her as the harbinger of more rage and more punches to come. I beat him and It was fucking glorious feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
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Prisons around the world are full of women who fight back & the streets are full of the men who assaulted them.

"The vast majority of women in prison have been victims of violence prior to their incarceration incl domestic violence, rape, sexual assault" aclu.org/other/words-pr…
"The average prison sentence for men who kill their female partners is two to six years By contrast women, who kill their partners are sentenced on average to 15 years." theguardian.com/news/datablog/…
In 2019, the imprisonment rate for African American women (83 per 100,000) was over 1.7 times the rate of imprisonment for white women (48 per 100,000). sentencingproject.org/publications/i…
“The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men,” U.S. feminist psychiatrist Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery, The Aftermath of Violence-From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror Text: The legal system is designed to protect men from the s
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More from @monaeltahawy

16 Feb
cw: violence

"A man has been found not guilty of murdering his wife, just days into the first national Covid lockdown. Anthony Williams, 70, said he "just flipped" and strangled his wife Ruth at their home."

bbc.com/news/uk-wales-…
How long must we wait until men stop beating and murdering us, even under #COVID19? And being found “not guilty?”

I made this in April
🎥 @rerutled

“The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men,” U.S. feminist psychiatrist Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery, The Aftermath of Violence-From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror Text: “The legal system is ...
Read 10 tweets
16 Feb
A woman’s right to be free of rape or sexual assault should not be dependent on her relationship to a man. She should not have to be your daughter/sister/wife/girlfriend in order to be believed or to be free of sexual violence. #BrittanyHiggins
After I beat the fuck out of a man who sexually assaulted me in a club, a club manager asked me what happened and when I told him, he looked at my Beloved and said "Why didn't you let your husband take care of it?" I almost beat him up too feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
“First of all, he’s not my husband,” I replied. “Also, this is my body, I take care of it.”

Patriarchy enables and protects men who sexually assault women, and it demands that only other men “protect” us. As long as we obey and behave in ways it approves of, of course.
Read 7 tweets
15 Feb
There is “no going back to normal.” We must emerge, not regress. I refuse to emerge as if unscathed. I insist that we all be scathed. We will emerge, our hearts unhealed and scarred but awesome. feministgiant.com/p/essay-fallin…
Over the past few months, I've been writing more than I usually do. It's as if all the words i used to use in conversations with others are now, in lockdown, going onto the page. An essay per week for months, sometimes two a week.
cw: sexual assault

Both Falling Apart Like a Feminist & my latest deal with sexual assault & are some of my most personal writing. This new one looks back at times when I was 4yo, 15yo, and 50yo and fuck - our lives shouldn't be marked by sexual violence feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as…
Read 5 tweets
15 Feb
What would the world look like if girls were taught they were volcanoes, whose eruptions were a thing of beauty, power to behold, force not to be trifled with? What if instead of breaking their wildness like a rancher tames a bronco, we taught girls the power of being dangerous?
"That's what I want--to hear you erupting. You young Mount St. Helenses who don't know the power in you--I want to hear you," Ursula K. Le Guin in a 1998 commencement speech urging young women graduating to erupt! serendipstudio.org/sci_cult/legui… Text: "...when women s...
From a very young age girls around the world are told that they are vulnerable and weak. By the age of 10, research shows they believe it. Conversely, boys are fed the stereotype that they are strong and independent. time.com/4948607/gender…
Read 6 tweets
14 Feb
I wrote this for 4yo me who once waved her slipper at a man who stopped his car on the street under my family’s balcony, pulled his penis out and beckoned for me to come down. I absolutely believed in my rage, convinced that it could frighten away a grown man.
I honour that angry 4yo girl. I honour her belief that she deserved to be free of molestation & of interruption. She was born with a pilot light of anger, tenacious & sure of its right to flare whenever treated unjustly. I believe all girls are born w/that pilot light of anger.
That little girl found me on a dance floor in Montreal three years ago and told me “Beat that fucker up!” and I celebrate her. Today, we are waving our slippers together. 

feministgiant.com/p/i-beat-my-as… #IBeatMyAssaulter
Read 4 tweets

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