Every time I tell someone this it helps them a lot, and I do honestly believe it so I’ll just blanket say it for each of you
I think you’re likely radically underestimating the ceiling of what you’re capable of in basically every way, and I’d bet on it at a large multiple
It doesn’t mean you’re totally wrong about the exact path you’re on now. But if you made the right interventions and think long term and just keep doing the right things for a decade you’ll prob find the ceiling is orders of magnitude higher than you think it is in most areas
I think this is certainly true for your baseline moment-to-moment happiness, self-worth, finances, career aspirations, romantic relationship potential, humanitarian impact, and it’s probably true in a lot of other areas I haven’t spent any time trying to quantify or understand
I think the problem is we think of things linearly but almost nothing is. If you make the right career moves anyone reading this could make 10mm in a decade
You can get to a point of well-being where you can’t remember the last time you woke up feeling anything but fantastic
Another force causing this is we imagine limits are what we’ve seen, but it’s wrong because the outliers stay together. If you’re in a random suburb you prob don’t know any billionaires, because that’s not where they hang out, but it doesn’t mean you can’t become one
Similarly, if you want to enjoy life you should aim to be happier than anyone you’ve ever met. Few spend thousands of well-spent effort on it, and if you do it’s likely to work. You don’t know any happiness-billionaires, but you’ll meet them on your path, and you can become one
Or altruistically aim to dramatically improve the lives of a billion people. There’s precedent already and there’s nothing stopping you from being next. It’s easier than it looks bc almost no one tries
Passion and long-terminal is stronger than you think
And these paths aren't actually separate. Becoming moment-to-moment happier than anyone you've ever met is good for being altruistic bc it's easier to be productive when you feel super well every day
The ceiling of all of these paths combined is unbelievably higher than any one
passion and long-termism* whoops 🚀
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As far as I can tell self-love requires experientially loosening your grasp on self, because you can’t love something without distance from it. But the gap can be small
This is why saying self-love is narcissism or being full-of-yourself isn’t just false it’s the wrong direction
This is why the paths to lasting self-love usually require meditation or psychedelics. It’s not (only) the love these tools give you but the prerequisite of being less egocentric
It’s common to find self-love weeks after a trip-induced ego-death. You’ve finished the pre-req
Although it’ll take two steps I do think it can be done in one sitting, because it’s not about time it’s a process of using the distance to see from a new perspective and fall into a new equilibrium
If you were to perfectly perceive a random 10 minute slice of my waking sober life (emotions, perceptions, thoughts, etc) how different do you expect it to be from your normal experience
I’m more interested in what you expect the difference is between people in general, not me specifically
But I think “random person” is so varied it spoils the data, so for now we’ll normalize to my perceptions
I don’t know what it’s like to be you but switching to me at minimum there’d be 1. No inner voice 2. Pretty short 3. Muscular, which might be somatically weird if you’ve never been before 4. A man
I think ruminating on "what weird brain stuff could I try optimizing for" is surprisingly high impact. Most practices are pretty simple, so the space isn't thaaaat big
I think this is more general. When I get close to people who seem to be doing acts of god, with incredible willpower or pushing through doubt and fear, I usually find they're not thinking of themselves much at all. They're in low-self flow where the concept of willpower dissolves
I actually hinted at this earlier today, and I also think @QiaochuYuan's thread is good. I think a lot of people are saying roughly the same thing in this area
Another one pop culture gets wrong is how often people doing acts-of-god don't even know it. When I was pivoting to AI I interviewed a lot of researchers and when I asked how often they read papers they'd say things like "idk a normal amount? Like 10-15 deep read-throughs a day"
I’m quite proud of the psychological progress I’ve made in the last five years
That Nick was quite hurt and it would have been understandable if he ended up making no progress at all
I guess it updated me towards thinking a lot is possible with little resources. Even if you can only spend 15m going inside yourself doing psychological work until it’s too scary, progress compounds and that time grows until you can do it most of the day without losing energy
I remember I booked a therapy appointment and walked in and said things are hard then just cried the whole appointment and left. That was pretty rough (that level of rough was only a couple days)
It’s all totally foreign now, and I wouldn’t have guessed that was possible
my happiest friends are all impressed by everything all the time
there's a very strong correlation between "I'm proud I did X, I should show it to Y they'll be like wowowow" and Y being outlier happy
(they're often wowowow walking around all day in their life already, just impressed by everything around them)
I think the reason is that being impressed is a combination of being perceptive in the moment -- literally the senses "impressing" into you -- and gratitude, two keys to life satisfaction