Thread by @rschles

The Cruz family vacation gets off to a rough start when dad gives an hour-long speech objecting to the rum in his daiquiri as invalid.

Other patrons inch away as @SenTedCruz loudly demands the beachside bartender mix him a Green New Deal. "It's frozen and causes you to black out!" he exclaims, looking around for appreciative laughs. #CruzFamilyVacation

Sailing ends quickly when Cruz denounces any attempt to tack to port as an outrageous lurch toward socialism. #CruzFamilyVacation #CruzToCancun

Waiters start avoid @SenTedCruz because he starts every order with, "Mr. President, the American people are demanding..." #CruzToCancun #CruzFamilyVacation

While dad is at the pool, other family members rifle through his briefcase. "There must be something we can use against this scumbag," one mutters. #CruzToCancun #CruzFamilyVacation

Cruz parades around with his Limbo trophy after no one is willing to participate against him. #CruzToCancun #CruzFamilyVacation