You think sarcasm is the lowest form of wit? You haven't met Deliberately Misunderstanding Your Tweet Due To Some Minor Grammatical Ambiguity.
And here's his great friend I'm Going To Do Exactly The Thing You've Just Said You Find Annoying.
And who's this? Why, if it isn't their old pal I Read That As.
It might seem that I'm whingeing on about this but my hope is a few of the guilty parties might read these tweets and think "Hang on a minute, maybe it IS a bit annoying. Perhaps I should stop". A bit of twitter flossing.

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More from @MooseAllain

21 Feb
In October we moved into our new home, close to Exeter city centre. We’re about two minutes walk from Fore Street, which goes up to the main high street. All quiet on a Sunday morning. Image
Swinging through 180 degrees, at this junction Fore Street becomes New Bridge Street. Perpendicular to this the streets follow the line of the old city wall which dates back to Roman times. Indeed many of the buildings, like our own house, sit on top of it. Image
As you can see New Bridge St is flanked by handsome but fairly modest four-storey buildings with shop units at ground floor level. Image
Read 16 tweets
8 Feb
A few years ago I took a series of photos around my house, close ups of the edge of a table or a door frame. Somehow, without a marker of scale, they evoked the huge skies, acute perspective lines and flat horizons of my native East Anglia. I called them Tiny Horizons.
Now I live in a new house so I’m starting to take some more. I’ve cropped them square and rotated them as I see fit, but there’s no other manipulation. I’ll add new ones to this thread.
#TinyHorizons
Read 10 tweets
29 Sep 20
Miniature Mastermind
First up Alan Peabody. Specialist subject: gravy
Next contestant please. Mireille Mouche. Specialist subject Ray Mears.
Read 5 tweets
29 Sep 20
I went up to Karen earlier and said “You look like you could do with a little sit down” then held out my hand.

By some miracle we have been together for 29 years. Image
Luckily she just went “Ooooh!”. Possibly because she wasn’t expecting to see a tiny chair. I can still surprise her after all these years.
Just resting my finger on it. It’s surprisingly comfortable. Image
Read 6 tweets
28 Sep 20
The whole point of this is that you retweet it. Share it. Liking it doesn’t boost it in the same way. Increase visibility.
I’m saying this because I can see lots more people liking it than retweeting it. A like signifies "l approve of this but I’m not going to share it with my followers".
Yes, I know some people have their settings so they see some random likes. But the retweet is for sharing other people’s tweets. It’s pretty basic.
Read 4 tweets
19 Sep 20
My 17yo just came into my room with a joke he’s made up.

“If we let children go on waterslides they’re just going to want to spend all their time on waterslides”.

He looked quite pleased with himself, and rightly so, I’d say.
Come on, don’t tell me you need me to explain it to you.
I like it because it fits into that category of jokes that I consider a funny puzzle. You have to work it out and then the penny drops. Hint for those who are struggling: how else would you describe a waterslide?
Read 4 tweets

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