no one needs another personal essay on agoraphobia/panic disorder so let me just say: it sucks lugnuts and the pandini has made it immeasurably worse
not only did i lose whatever progress i'd made, ive spent the entire time fighting off new phobias and old ones made worse (autophobia can suck my dick). the prospect of the world "reopening" with all my maladaptive coping mechanisms still in place is terrifying!
me trying to date is like *christian grey voice* you see, i have certain......... crippling limitations
im back up to between 3 and 7 full on panic attacks a day. like a syringe full of adrenaline in the sternum. mind bending and physically painful. it's been really hard!
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