Thread by @TravelingNun

The idea that rape is a product of “sexual temptation” stems from a toxic relationship to sexuality.

If you believe that sexual attraction is an overwhelming animal urge that requires a Herculean level of self-control granted only by prayer and spiritual maturity, then it’s easy to believe that ppl (in particular cisgender men) are constantly on the verge of raping other ppl.

In this worldview, *not* raping ppl becomes a virtue unto itself. If sexual attraction is always & only ever compelling people to sexually devour each other, then *not* raping ppl is a sign of self-control!

This is why whenever the latest rape and/or sexual abuse coverups come out in the church, Christian men are quick to say of the perpetrator, “This could have been any of us,” meaning any of them could be rapists!

In many churches, Christians learn that their sexuality exists like some kind of monstrous alter ego, ever threatening to take over and devour the people they love. The only way to reign in the monster is through “spiritual accountability” and getting married.

Therefore, if you happen to be going through a season of “spiritual backsliding” or your marriage happens to be on the rocks (or maybe you’re not married at all), you’re likely to succumb to the alter ego & transform into a sex monster in moments of “spiritual weakness.”

In this worldview, everyone is a rapist. It’s just a matter of who is able to keep their inner rapist in check through spiritual strength and a fulfilling marriage.

BUT THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP TO HUMAN SEXUALITY

Human sexuality is a social-emotional experience that draws us into *relationship* with other people. It does not inevitably compel us into a predestined sexual encounter unless we manage to control the “urge.”

Human sexuality draws us into *relationship* with others, and *we decide* what kind of relationship we want it to be. It does not compel us into sexual encounters. It draws us into *relational encounters,* and we make of that relationship what we choose.

When cisgender men rape other people, it is not because they “fell.” They aren’t “falling.” They are choosing. There is no monster compelling them to do it. It is themselves and only themselves.