Everyone's really upset at Meghan McCain for wanting to skip the vaccine line, but I want to talk about how her hair makes me hungry.

Ahem.

Meghan McCain's hairstyles as dessert. A thread.

The Sarah Bernhardt.
The Pink Pearl Cupcake.
The Knotted Bun.
The Palmier.
The Golden Syrup Cake.
The Cardamom Bun.
The Subtle Pastry Braid.
The babka wreath.
The Challah at Fauci.
The Russian Butter Cookie.
I could not disagree with her politics more, but she is making some brave culinary choices with her locks and as someone who has rocked the double bun in recent history, I salute that kind of courage.
Okay, I have not gotten NEARLY enough work done today but I can't stop thinking about desserts and also hair, so maybe just a couple more?

Kadaif.
The cream horn.
The cinnamon twist.
And lastly, of course:

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More from @everywhereist

21 Feb
Cracks knuckles.

Okay. This is possibly my favorite story? Here we go.

The greatest coincidence of my life.
I am in college. I like late night TV (dream of writing for it one day, alas). Sometimes I even record it (on VHS) to watch between classes during the day. In my tiny Seattle studio in the late 90s/early 00s, I consume hours of late night TV between my journalism classes.
There is one episode - of I believe Letterman, but maybe Conan - where Bon Jovi is the guest. He is charming. The host mentions how beloved he is, and asks if he always gets recognized. Bon Jovi says, "Well, mostly. But there was this one time."
Read 8 tweets
13 Dec 20
All we ask is that women with doctorates instead go by honorific of "sugar tits"
All we ask is that women with doctorates instead go by the honorific "so this dame thinks she's brainy"
All we ask is that women with doctorates don't call themselves doctors, because really that term is reserved for men. Maybe they can use "stuck up broad with her nose in a book" or something.
Read 5 tweets
5 Dec 20
My husband found out that I have never seen Tombstone and now I'm watching Val Kilmer die of consumption.
Okay, so every white male actor from the 90s is in this. Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Billy Zane, Billy Bob Thorton.

Also, the romantic lead is ... Dana Delaney? Who has been given terrible dialogue.
Wyatt Earp's wife is an addict and this is stressing him out, but honestly it's not like there's another treatment for headaches in the late 1800s, give her a break.
Read 25 tweets
4 Oct 19
Attention writers! Yeah, you. It looks like you have a story to tell.

I can see it, just itching to get out of you, pulling at the corners of your mouth and making your one eye not open properly because you're thinking about it.

It's time to do something about it.
"UGH, BUT I DON'T WANT TO, I'M HAPPY CONTORTING MY FACE IN AN EFFORT TO I IGNORE MY HEART."

No. Just no. You need to share it. Because all that weird itchiness you feel in your heart? It goes away when you start writing.

Don't get me wrong: it's deeply uncomfortable.
But not doing it is worse. Trust me on this. TRUST ME.

You're probably scared your work isn't good. And it might not be. But it can't get better until you make a first draft and revise it. You can't get it out of bad until you get it out of your head.

So it's time to do that.
Read 4 tweets
1 Jun 19
The Joker should have been a woman. And she finally went insane because too many random dudes told her to smile, so now she perpetually smiles while terrorizing Gotham.
She becomes a sort of folk hero for the women of Gotham. She unleashes financial records for companies that don't compensate women properly. She blackmails cheaters and misogynists. She threatens the goddamn Patriarchy. It's terrifying and wonderful.
The Batman needs to stop her to restore the order of things, but on some level, he's conflicted. She's a villain. But she's right.
Read 19 tweets
4 May 19
Inventor of the Microwave: I have invented a new kind of oven that is FASTER.

Humanity: Ooooh, awesome. So I can roast this chicken in like, half the time?

IotM: Oh. Oh, wait, was that something you wanted to do?

H: Um, yes?

IotM: Okay, wow you are going to be disappointed.
H: Oh, I see - it's way too small for a chicken. Okay. I'll just make toast really REALLY quickly.

IotM: Yeah, it's not really that kind of oven.

H: It can't make toast, either?

IotM: It can't really "cook" things.

H: It's a oven that can't really cook things?

IotM: EXACTLY.
H: ...

IotM: But it can WARM up food.

H: Oh. Actually, that sounds fine. I actually have this frozen burrito I'd really like to heat up.

IotM: You ... you want the whole thing heated up?

H: Of course.

IotM: Even the middle?

H: Uh, yeah.

IotM: Are you sure?

H: YES.
Read 7 tweets

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