*perky corporate voice*
You don't need health care when you have SELF care!!!
You don't need health care when you have SELF care!!!
Hello, [insert company name] rockstars! It's been an incredible year as we made record profits and refined our processes and team to be Lean (TM) and mean. We want to thank you for all your hard work and tell you about some innovations to your benefit plan you're going to love!
We want to give you the freedom to choose your own ways to stay healthy rather than being confined by the *air quotes* "preventative care" options offered by our old plan, so we've upgraded from our former Premium Plan to a Flex Option with a creative solution called an "HSA."
Instead of the employer-funded options in our old plan, you can now put part of your salary into an HSA, which you can then use to pay for a wide range of health options.
This includes over-the-counter medications to replace pricey prescriptions from those specialists you won't be seeing anymore! The really cool thing about this is the portion of your salary you put into the HSA is PRE-TAX!!!
The second innovative new way we're caring for your health is something I'm REALLY excited to tell you about. With some of the resouces we've saved from pivoting from a quote-unquote "Cadillac" health insurance option to an HSA-supported model...
...we've brought in a top-of-the-line marketing firm to design an internal Mindfulness website, because as we all know, even when you love your job, some days can get a little stressful. I mean, excitement about new projects is still stress, did you know that?
So if you're starting to feel a little bit grumpy on Hour 78 or 79 of your work week, we encourage you to sit back, relax, and visit the Mindfulness website to take a 3-minuted Guided Meditation Tour that'll leave you feeling refreshed and ready to get back to work!
These are just some of the incredible self-care options we're offering to you as we look for ways to make our employer-sponsored health insurance plan more Lean and efficient.
Remember: you don't need healthcare when you've been doing your SELF-care!
Remember: you don't need healthcare when you've been doing your SELF-care!
sorry I know this should have been a TikTok but I am old
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