All my pals (and listeners to the @dirtyoldladies podcast) know I have a super-duper hate-on for time travel in fiction.
When asked why, I usually say something like "OK, so I sprint out of the time machine, run to my childhood home, and kill my 5-year-old self. SOLVE FOR THAT."
When asked why, I usually say something like "OK, so I sprint out of the time machine, run to my childhood home, and kill my 5-year-old self. SOLVE FOR THAT."
Friend: "...But you didn't."
Me: "No, I did. I did it. Explain that."
F: "You wouldn't be here if you did!"
Me: "No, I'm doing it. I'm dedicating my life to it. I will not stop until I do."
And so and and so on, ad nauseam.
Me: "No, I did. I did it. Explain that."
F: "You wouldn't be here if you did!"
Me: "No, I'm doing it. I'm dedicating my life to it. I will not stop until I do."
And so and and so on, ad nauseam.
Little did I realize:
- There was actually a movie where that's basically the plot
- It's exactly as full-of-holes as I'd expect, and
- YMS did a WAY better job explaining all the crap I hate about time travel in film than I ever could.
- There was actually a movie where that's basically the plot
- It's exactly as full-of-holes as I'd expect, and
- YMS did a WAY better job explaining all the crap I hate about time travel in film than I ever could.
I wasn't articulating it properly, but he has the same primary hang-up I do, which is changes int he past being depicted as sudden, magical changes in the present, and not things that have ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY because they were changed YEARS AGO.
If mobsters cut your fingers off when you were 25, why is 60-year-old you staring at your hand, aghast, NOW? IT HAPPENED 40 YEARS AGO. Also, why do you suddenly suck as driving? YOU'VE HAD 40 YEARS OF PRACTICE, driving with NO FINGERS.
We all know the answer, which is "It makes for a cool scene in the movie," and if that's all you need, cool, enjoy, I'm not judging you for it. But I can't. Cuz it doesn't make sense.
I won't deny Looper is a fun idea for a movie. The future-Mob ties up loose ends by having all their footmen murder their sent-back-in-time older selves! Ooo!
But if you care about what I care about, it's tissue-paper thin. And after the first 5 "Wait, WHATs?", you tap out.
But if you care about what I care about, it's tissue-paper thin. And after the first 5 "Wait, WHATs?", you tap out.
(And everyone saying you can fix time travel plot holes in fiction with "alternate dimensions?" Alt-history isn't time travel. You're fixing time travel by making it Not Time Travel. "Sliders" wasn't time travel. My old webcomic wasn't time travel. :V)
(Once you introduce branching-path variants of a self and imply there are zillions of them out there, stacked like Pringles in space-time and living every outcome? I don't have a problem with it anymore, cuz that's Not Time Travel.)
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