Thread by @Shayonnita15

Three years back, when considering a job in Delhi, I found a broker online.

I saved his name as "Noida PG", spoke to him once about a flat, eventually didn't move, but somehow never landed up deleting the number.

Three years on, I feel like I've been a part of his life.

THREAD

Just like the 100 odd numbers we save ("Doodhwala Ramesh", "Aruna Taxi", "Kunal bus ticket guy" or "Satrangi Bandra Vegetables") and then forget, for months Noida PG sat in my phone contact list, forgotten.

Then, one day, while idling away, I saw a strange WhatsApp story.

2.

A bearded man in a black shirt, jeans and sunglasses was celebrating something with friends. They had lit a bonfire, and standing dangerously close to flames were laughing raucously.

I stared at the story and the name "Noida PG" wondering who this was and,

3.

why, possibly, was this on my WhatsApp stories?

I'll delete this contact, I thought to myself, but... didn't get around to it.

And then, three days later there was another video.

This featured the same man lighting crackers with friends.

4.

Despite myself, I continued looking. The men moved closer and closer to the explosives, pushing each other drunkenly.

More laughter. And then what seemed like one of them falling into a cracker. Hollers, activity, the camera blurring.

End video.

5.

Sitting here in Mumbai, my heart was in my mouth.

That couldn't have gone well! It would have certainly resulted in burns at least, and here was someone who had thought it was fun, who had put it on their story?

I was horrified by the implications!

And yet...

6.

...I waited for the next story.

It was the bearded man, in his sun glasses, with his friends, beating the shit out of a guy. There was no sound so I couldn't make out the incident's backstory. I wasn't even sure if this was in jest or this was actually a pummeling.

7.

I was horrified, but also intrigued.

The stories kept coming - featuring the bearded man dancing, drinking, roughing up someone, posing by a jeep, always in his jeans and sunglasses.

And even though I realised what I was doing was voyeuristic and creepy, I could not stop.

8.

Here was a window into a life so completely different from mine: A man, estimatedly in his 30s, typical of the Delhi-Noida stereotype for whom a good day means a beer and a fight.

Sometimes there would videos of him drinking in fancy locations--

9.

like cloud clad hill tops, his sunglasses and jeans consistent against the greenery.

Sometimes it would be videos of him dancing at home. Alone, a beer bottle in his hand.

And sometimes the videos would be unimaginably gory.

10.

Such as one of straight-faced policemen from some other country driving cars over bleeding people.

When India saw protests, "Noida PG", put up videos of farmer marches & skirmishes in J&K where bullets pierced through chests spilling blood.

11.

I wondered how these videos were sourced. How were they spread through WhatsApp? Were the fact-checked?

Then, one day he went to a shooting range, posed with guns and even managed to shoot himself. The next series of stories featured him laughing with his hand in a cast.

12.

Of course, there was a skin-crawling video of the whole incident.

As always I was horrified, repulsed, amazed that clearly this life was a reality that this man wanted to record and display to others, proudly.

And Noida PG clearly loved himself.

13.

Making video after video of himself posing by jeeps and mountains, looking at the camera and slyly smiling; his friends tittering about adoringly.

But then, in December, I saw a slightly different story.

In December, for the first time I saw a woman in Noida PG's story.

14.

And I'll be honest. At first, I was alarmed. Would this woman be ok? Was she safe?

I was quick to judge.

For over 2 months, I've not seen a single story of Noida PG with guns, jeeps, firecrackers. Instead of gory videos, there are now videos of news channels.

15.

Instead of videos of rum-drunk house parties there are cringey videos of the couple smiling shyly on cloud-clad mountains.

It's as if I changed the genre on this channel.

And so, after Noida PG posted an engagement video last week, I had a desperate urge to call him.

16.

And say, "Well done, buddy, Stay happy."

Ofcourse I didn't.

Instead, I deleted his number.

Finally.

And then came here to tell you all about this story so I could process this whole thing mentally. For, truly, it has left me with so many thoughts.

17.

First, the inherent voyeurism and curiosity in all of us and how social media feeds it. Here I was, a complete stranger, up to date with his whole life.

And since my blue ticks have mostly been off, he wouldn't even know I was creepily watching his videos!

18.

Second, me being able to see his stories meant him having saved and never deleted my number, too. How many random numbers like that do we have?

Third, how many versions of life will we never know and never see? How many men live these lives of toxic masculity.

19.

I feel stupid for thinking most of this happened only in movies.

And fourth, does love really change people so much? Will Noida PG truly give up his old ways?

I don't know.

But I hope whatever happens, they stay happy.

FIN.