The difference between an action being romantic and it being creepy is whether the recipient desires it
That sounds obvious and YET there are often times when it's hard to tell if something *is* desired
Anyway, refraining from ever hitting on women to avoid the risk of being an accidental creep
While I'm on the topic of grand romantic gestures: my second date with my ex was right before Valentine's Day, and he gave me this little crepe* rose and asked me to be his Valentine and I got *so* weirded out and said, "I don't do valentines."
* Or some fabric
And then later I invited him up to my apartment and we just watched TV because he was too shy to even kiss me, and I considered just stopping seeing him because I didn't know what was going on.
Anyway a few days later he confessed his crush on me and we ended up dating for six years but in retrospect that date really revealed some of the fundamental incompatibilities that were there all along
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I don’t care that Lola Bunny is dressed less sexy in Space Jam 2 but I am unbelievably exhausted by the idea that the way you communicate that a female character is to be taken seriously is by removing her boobs
It has been so damaging to spend my whole life being fed the message that I’m inherently a sex object because I have big tits
I recently read the story anthology Kink and it had some good pieces — Roxane Gay’s and Chris Kraus’s were particular faves — but it bummed me out that there were no funny stories in the collection.
I never fully know if I “count” as kinky — I’m definitely not a BDSM scenester and I don’t have any specific thing or fetish that I’m attached to — it’s more that, in the words of the great Jean-Ralphio, I’m open minded as hell and able to find pleasure in a lot of things.
But I have definitely participated in, enjoyed, and even sought out things commonly understood as kinky and... I dunno, my favorite stories in my own life are ones that feel funny to me. Kink is funny!
The debate over parental leave isn't *just* about women in the workplace (although it is that!), it's also about whether employers see workers as valued team members they want to invest in long term or as easily replaceable cogs.
This is especially evident in discussions about, for instance, blocking workers from taking leave within the first year of work. If you're thinking about workers as cogs, of course you don't want a cog to go offline for three months right after it's installed.
But if this is a *team member* and a person you want to make a long term investment in, then who cares about those three months? You have plenty of time to build a relationship with them and this is just the start.
Truly, what even are these "queer spaces" that bisexuals are apparently letting our cishet partners sully? The gay bars that have already been colonized by bachelorette parties? The public spectacle of Pride?
The queer spaces that I have existed in have been small friend groups where, yeah, I'm going to bring a partner regardless of gender because *these are my friends and my friends love me and care about my partners*! If I feel like the partner isn't a good fit, I don't bring them.
Am I going to bring a straight dude to a queer sex party? Of course not! But is that actually a major risk?
I was talking recently with someone about unsolicited dick pix, and who does and does not receive them, and — knowing full well that this admission will likely result in a flood of dick pix in my DMs — I don't usually receive unsolicited dick pix, and I don't know why.
I have a *guess* though, and it's rooted in the knowledge that there are two kinds of unsolicited dick pix: there are the dick pix men send to unsuspecting partners because they think they will like them, and the dick pix men send because they want to demean and shame someone.
The latter, of course, being the dick pix I expect to receive because I publicly admitted that I don't get sent dick pix, because *that is what happened the last time I publicly admitted that*.