You know the rules:
Most vibrantly-coloured rocks are on the Do Not Lick list, but ALL rocks that are literally radiating are definitely on the Do Not Lick list.
Most vibrantly-coloured rocks are on the Do Not Lick list, but ALL rocks that are literally radiating are definitely on the Do Not Lick list.
https://twitter.com/Neon_woof/status/1368961123714797569
> Record scratch
> Freeze frame of you, the protagonist, contemplating the pros and cons of licking a plutonium puck.
“You’re probably wondering how I got here. It all started when I was strolling around France...”
#YouFindARock.
📷 Roberto Bosi
> Freeze frame of you, the protagonist, contemplating the pros and cons of licking a plutonium puck.
“You’re probably wondering how I got here. It all started when I was strolling around France...”
#YouFindARock.
📷 Roberto Bosi
You pick up the hunk of densely-packed quartz crystals, intrigued by the spatters of matte black.
“Did you mould?!” you ask the rock incredulously. “No, no, that’s not quite right... what IS this?”
>
“Did you mould?!” you ask the rock incredulously. “No, no, that’s not quite right... what IS this?”
>
> Heft
Determined not to plunge tongue-first into danger, you pick up the rock and weigh it thoughtfully.
“You’re weirdly heavy,” you muse aloud. “Like... twice as heavy as I’d expect.”
>
Determined not to plunge tongue-first into danger, you pick up the rock and weigh it thoughtfully.
“You’re weirdly heavy,” you muse aloud. “Like... twice as heavy as I’d expect.”
>
> Calculate density
After weighing the mineral, you pull out a graduated cylinder and dunk the mineral lump in water to measure volume.
“Accounting for the quartz...” you mutter to yourself while frantically calculating, “your specific gravity is... 5?! Damn, impressive!”
>
After weighing the mineral, you pull out a graduated cylinder and dunk the mineral lump in water to measure volume.
“Accounting for the quartz...” you mutter to yourself while frantically calculating, “your specific gravity is... 5?! Damn, impressive!”
>
> zap zap zap
You rotate the rock in a bright sunbeam, catching an adamantine sparkle in what you thought was tarry matte black.
Intrigued, you shine a flashlight through a thin edge. “Brown!” you gasp, then “Pale yellow?!” as you rotate the rock. “Pleochroism is gorgeous.”
>
You rotate the rock in a bright sunbeam, catching an adamantine sparkle in what you thought was tarry matte black.
Intrigued, you shine a flashlight through a thin edge. “Brown!” you gasp, then “Pale yellow?!” as you rotate the rock. “Pleochroism is gorgeous.”
>
> Radiation check
“Geiger counter, grocery counter...” you mutter, patting the many pockets of your cruiser vest, finally finding the device.
It beeps frantically at the coffinite.
“Oh. Erm...”
>
“Geiger counter, grocery counter...” you mutter, patting the many pockets of your cruiser vest, finally finding the device.
It beeps frantically at the coffinite.
“Oh. Erm...”
>
> Exploit
Unsatisfied with running one uranium mine (
>
Unsatisfied with running one uranium mine (
https://twitter.com/mikamckinnon/status/1254192861219680256), you open a second mine to exploit the coffinite as a uranium ore.
>
Ack! The quote-tweet ate the poll.
>
>
> Find pretty
You jaunt to New Mexico.
You find a dinosaur fossil where coffinite & pyrite have substituted in for the bone minerals.
You smile happily at the preserved vascules that once held blood vessels, nerves, and connective tissue.
📷 JGW
You jaunt to New Mexico.
You find a dinosaur fossil where coffinite & pyrite have substituted in for the bone minerals.
You smile happily at the preserved vascules that once held blood vessels, nerves, and connective tissue.
📷 JGW
You clutch the coffinite dinosaur bone and plan your next step.
>
>
> Pet
You gently stroke the uranium silicate dinosaur fossil.
The dead dino does nothing.
Your skin blocks alpha particles, but you get the impression a prolonged cuddle would be unwise.
You yawn sleepily, exhausted from jumping continents.
>
You gently stroke the uranium silicate dinosaur fossil.
The dead dino does nothing.
Your skin blocks alpha particles, but you get the impression a prolonged cuddle would be unwise.
You yawn sleepily, exhausted from jumping continents.
>
> Cherish
“You are a gorgeous dinosaur,” you coo, patting it gently. “Simply lovely.”
You carefully wrap the fossil to protect it from damage & to protect others from it, then ship it to Portugal for display in the visitor’s centre of your original uranium mine.
Until later:
“You are a gorgeous dinosaur,” you coo, patting it gently. “Simply lovely.”
You carefully wrap the fossil to protect it from damage & to protect others from it, then ship it to Portugal for display in the visitor’s centre of your original uranium mine.
Until later:
https://twitter.com/mikamckinnon/status/1251631025819545600
Epilogue:
When visiting a power plant supplied by your growing collection of uranium mines, you find the tiniest pinhead of plutonium, just 10μg.
You eye the sewing-needle-sized vial of purply goop.
>
When visiting a power plant supplied by your growing collection of uranium mines, you find the tiniest pinhead of plutonium, just 10μg.
You eye the sewing-needle-sized vial of purply goop.
>
> Flee
You leave the plutonium untasted, running as far & as fast as you can.
You are unwilling to repeat the errors of Don Mastick (archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.co…) & taste the acidic, metallic twang of disconcerting warmth.
You avoid hospitalisation.
You’re a little bit smug.
You leave the plutonium untasted, running as far & as fast as you can.
You are unwilling to repeat the errors of Don Mastick (archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.co…) & taste the acidic, metallic twang of disconcerting warmth.
You avoid hospitalisation.
You’re a little bit smug.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
