Thread by @GbengaWemimo

As much as possible, i beg you, before you marry into any family be sure you want to marry into the family
Be convinced
Dont marry into a family you hate or do not understand properly because you love their son or their daughter
Dont tear the family apart for your selfish reasons

While we were undergraduates, my brother started going out with a lady. She was a believer, quiet, and very reserved. They met each other while they were in 100 level. I joined the same school a year later and I realized something quite odd about my brother and this lady.
When

i walk into the cafeteria and see them together, my brother would hesitate before coming over to say hello to me. His babe's body language would immediately change. I was the older brother but I was in 100 level at the time and they were in 200 level, she found it difficult to

greet me
We rarely exchanged a word of greeting
She would just look away or uninterested whenever our paths crossed
I didn't see it as anything at the time
That year during the long holiday, she came home with my brother to spend some time with my family
She stayed in a room

throughout
My brother would take food to her and stay with her in that room
She wouldn't join anything we did as a family
I and my brother were the only boys in the family
We were very close but her presence killed the closeness
On CXhristmas day, while we were eating and making

merry
She and my brother didn't join us
They said they were fasting
My mother got worried and called me into her room
She said "Is there something I am not doing right? Is your brother's intended crossed with me in any way? Was the food we made not good enough?"
I told my mother

it was nothing of that sort
The lady was the only daughter of a widow
She grew up with only her brother and mother as her family and they had accused her late father's family of being behind his death, so they kept away from the family.
The lady was just not used to large family

stuff
My mother was placated
I was in a relationship at the time too but my mother did not approve of the lady was dating for some reason
So I was practically dating the lady in defiance
We resumed school and I met my brother's babe at the cafeteria one day, she was with one of

her friends
As soon as I came into the cafeteria she turned away from me as if we were not practically sleeping under the same roof a few days before that day
When I saw my brother, I asked him if I had offended his babe in any way
He said I shouldn't bother myself about it

that's her nature
I shrugged and left it
The next holiday mt brother went to Akure to meet with her mother and brother
It felt as if they were getting pretty serious about getting married
My younger sister called me and said "Your mummy is not happy, let me just tell you that,

you do not call her regularly from school like before. I started laughing. I never had a good calling culture and everyone knows that. So why would my mother make an issue of that. My sister said "I am not talking about you, I am talking about your brother!"
My brother was the

social one
The one that will engage the public and laugh with everyone
I was the shy one, the loner
It seemed my mother had practically been neglected by both of us
One day my brother came to my room out of the blue just as they were resuming their final year
He said he is break

-ing it off
I said why
He said his babe said she couldn't cope with the problem of family members and would like them to buy a farm far away and live in the farm all alone
My brother (Owns a farm now) had always said he would own a farm and all after graduating but he never said

it would be at Kahalahari desert!
He said he had tried to show her that our family is warm and welcoming and all but she still didn't loosen up
He said he was dying in silence because he was not being himself while he was with her
He had to ignore his friends and pretend he was

fine lurking in the shadows when he would have preferred to be out there doing his thing
A week later, they broke up
After they had ended it, my brother started coming to my room more and we got much closer (He was already in the final year and I was in 300 level)
When I met the

Holy Spirit on September 17, 2007 he was the one I went to for explanations about many things
We still minister together today
He is happily married and so am I
The two families spend a lot of good time together
It was what my mother and any other mother would pray for
That their

children would bond and have a lot in common.
A family divided is of no use to society and we shouldn't have to encourage dysfunctionality as the new norm
If you marry into a family, please don't tear the family apart! Do your best to encourage bonding and togetherness
Thank you

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