Thread by @penfriendrocks

Pre-Covid and pre-Brexit, I used to dart around Germany playing solo shows. People regularly found it so strange that I wasn't up for getting wasted every night in "rock n roll fashion" but I've always had to be hyper aware of my safety as a woman travelling alone.

In Europe, even at an indie level, accommodation is usually provided in some form, often a private hostel room or spare room of the promoter or someone's mate.

Over the years I've learned to 1) always have my wits about me (so one beer max) and 2) make sure there's never any reason for someone to think they could make a move (e.g. don't be too friendly or tactile). These are just standard things women have to consider. It's exhausting.

It shouldn't have to feel this dangerous to simply exist.

Btw I've never had any trouble on German tours, but when playing a show in Newport Pagnell a few years ago the promoter put me up at his house and thought it was OK to climb into bed with me.

As for being followed home and threatened by strangers in public places, yep yep yep. I was waiting at a bus stop on Oxford Street once and got pushed against a shop window by my throat by a man I'd never met. Not a single person at the bus stop said or did anything.

This stuff has been happening for so long it's unsurprising to most women. We need your help, men. Please talk about this with your man friends, call them out on bad behaviour, teach your sons to be better. Because we're not bringing this on ourselves, we're just trying to live.

A few years ago, I emailed my mailing list asking if there was anything I could be doing to make my shows more appealing to women and non-binary people. Audience turnout is overwhelmingly male, you see. Most responses I got highlighted safety concerns.

Indie artists like me often play at small venues in cheap aka dodgy parts of town, often people have to travel a way to get there and public transport doesn't pass right by. Plus gigs finish late and people are just trying to keep safe.

There were also comments about not feeling comfortable to attend gigs alone, because of safety concerns. I'd like to say I could vouch for all my male fans to be perfectly respectful, but obviously I can't. How maddeningly unfair we can't go and do the things we want.

Gotta say, I would love to be able to play to a more mixed audience as well, and the lack of that being an option is just another symptom of this deeply misogynistic society.