The most helpful thing I’ve done for my mental health has been trying to treat myself like I’d treat a friend, to give myself the same benefit of the doubt, the same encouragement, the same pride in my accomplishments. Being nice to others comes naturally so... turn that inward.
I say this to patients all the time when they’re beating themselves up. “What would you say to a close friend who’s going through the same thing? I bet you’d support them and wouldn’t think less of them because of it.” Almost always helps. Being a friend to yourself is crucial.
Some things we routinely say/think about ourselves would be relationship-ending insults if we said them to someone close to us. It’d be unimaginable, but we freely berate and insult ourselves like we’re frustrated to be sharing a body. View yourself through your friends’ eyes.
It wasn’t until I really started doing this that I noticed a change in my attitude. I can’t believe the things I used to say to myself, and now I know that I’m at least always in my corner and that’s very reassuring.
If you genuinely don’t like yourself you’re never going to be happy. It can’t depend on getting a better job or losing 20 pounds, either—you have to *work* at liking yourself as you are, because you’re you, and treating yourself with respect is how you learn to do that.
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