Thread by @QuinnyPig

Men: don't apologize that "other men are shitty." Step up and offer to do something about it instead.

https://twitter.com/QuinnyPig/status/1371986570555711490

"You're hurtling down a snowy mountain. A dangerous ravine is to your right, a dark forest is to your left. You have a decision to make. Are you on skis or a snowboard?"

"Here's a phone number and a passcode. At the beep, leave your best idea of what a dodo bird's mating call sounded like."

"A cursory check of your profile indicates that you're unaware of reverse image search, along with how wildly inappropriate it is for someone in your position to send dickpics unsolicited. What do you believe is an appropriate charitable donation to offset the harm you cause?"

"At what point during this riddle series did you realize that you could have bypassed this entire process simply by messaging something more original than 'hey' to @kyliebytes?"

"Judging by your dating profile, you seem to have conflated 'interests' with 'a personality.' Name three things about you that apply to less than 1 million Americans."

"Imagine that you go on a first date and hit it off. After a whirlwind romance you marry. Years from now, @kyliebytes tells your grandkids about how you met. Would you like to buy a $10 @kyliebytes Gold Redo Credit to take a better attempt than the horseshit you just sent?"

"The global pandemic means that 'let's grab a beer' isn't happening right now. We're back to old-fashioned wooing. Bust out the iambic pentameter and write @kyliebytes a sonnet in an attempt to demonstrate your ability to bang two neurons together and create a spark."

"Relationships are all about compromises. What compromises would you be unwilling to make in a relationship with respect to Twitter?"

"Your message says 'you read @kyliebytes's profile' and while basic literacy is indeed necessary, it's also not sufficient by itself. What is the largest full grown animal you legitimately believe you could triumph over in a fight to the death?"

"Congratulations, you have passed Screener Level 1. You now move on to Screener Level 2: @bequinning."