Thread by @nwaoma007

Betrayed 2

https://twitter.com/nwaoma007/status/1370674719733772289?s=21

1./ Ivie trudged upstairs to their bedroom. She felt weary. A bone-deep weariness which had nothing to do with physical exhaustion and everything to do with her state of mind. https://t.co/e0rsPd7SgW

2./ She opened their bedroom door and breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God today was one of the days Mary had got around to tidying the room before she left for her sewing classes. The bed was made, everywhere was arranged and the curtains were drawn shut.

3./ She wanted to crawl into bed, fall asleep and obliterate the memory of everything that had happened in the last few hours. But before that, she needed a shower to wash away every trace of her self-betrayal.

4./ She was mortified when she remembered how wanton and abandoned she had been on the kitchen island. She covered her face with her hands at the memory of herself, writhing in pleasure, legs splayed wide open, raised to Osaze’s shoulders.

5./ His fingers probing skillfully at her moist feminine core, his lips and tongue licking and sucking expertly. Herself, pliant, voice breathless, begging him not to stop. Pushing first against his fingers,

6./ then grinding demandingly against his skilled lips and tongue in silent supplication for more of his touch and ultimately for the release he could give her.
Why did her body betray her like that? She wondered. How easily her rage and pain turned to desire.

7./ They said love was akin to hate, but where did sexual desire come into play in that simplistic equation? Her instinctive reaction when she felt his erection was disgust that at a time like this, he could get sexually aroused.

8./ This initial reaction was followed swiftly by a yearning to punish him with rejection in as contemptuous a manner as she could dredge up. But then, he began to kiss her and touch her in the places and the way he knew aroused her,

9./ her traitorous body responded with the alacrity of a Pavlovian dog. Despite her pain, even remembering it had the power to create flutters of arousal within her.

“No.” Ivie said to herself. “I won’t be that woman. My body’s sexual responses won’t control me.” She vowed.

10./ She hurriedly stripped off her clothes and underwear and went in to their en-suite to take a shower. Under the steaming hot shower, she scrubbed herself vehemently. If only exfoliation could erase every trace of the touch of her faithless husband.

11./ She felt better afterwards and lay in bed wondering what next to do while hoping that sleep would claim her.  

She had told Osaze to move out of the house. But was that what she wanted? Where would she tell the kids he had gone? Ehi and Uki loved their daddy to bits.

12./ They were a close-knit family and Osaze was a great dad. He was hands-on and he had a close relationship with his children. He did homework with them. He was the one involved in all their sporting activities. Swimming and tennis were on him. He played chess with them.

13./ These were just the tip of the iceberg. They would notice his absence and miss him if he vanished suddenly. Especially for an indeterminate period. If she wasn’t sure it would be a permanent departure, did she want to create that upheaval?

14./ Besides who would take responsibility for those activities for the children? She already had a full complement of her own responsibilities within their family dynamics.   

Ivie’s thoughts stretched further. Beyond the kids, and his relationship with them,

15./ did she want him out of her life for good? Or was this a knee-jerk reaction to all that had happened? She grudgingly admitted to herself that she would miss him. She loved her husband. He had hurt her, but she loved him. Love wasn’t a tap she could turn on and off at will.

16./ Furthermore, if she succumbed so easily to his sexual mastery over her at this time when her hurt and anger were probably at their peak, was she really prepared to call it quits? Wasn’t that in itself telling? She was confused. Too many thoughts buzzing about in her mind.

17./ She didn’t know or have answers to the questions plaguing her. 
Aside from his care for the children, Osaze was her friend. Her go-to person. He “got” her. He knew how to tease her out of a bad mood; he made her laugh even on her down days.

18./ Tears began to fall again when memories of times past assailed her. Why? Osaze why? Ivie asked silently and brokenly. It didn’t make sense to her.  He was loving and solicitous. He was a good husband. This was not to say that they didn’t have the regular couple’s conflicts,

19./ but they were good. They made a great team. It was so hard to imagine that he was able to cheat on her yet be this good. Nothing made sense. Her thoughts wandered more. What if she sent him out of the house and he moved fully into his girlfriend’s life,

20./ could she live with that? In addition to the pain of seeing him find happiness with another woman, would she be fine with her precious children exposed to other women who might parade through his life if he decided to play the swinging bachelor before he settled down again?

21./ Ivie shuddered at the thought.  No. Of one thing she was certain. Even if she ultimately decided she didn’t want Osaze, she would make strict rules about her children’s exposure to other women for the periods he would have access to them.

22./ She wouldn’t make it easy for another woman to have him. No two-ways about that! 
 
Truth was she wasn’t sure what she wanted. She knew she was too hurt to think straight at the moment. But upon reflection, it was probably best not to kick him out.

23./ At least, not yet. Let him stay here and pay for his sins while she considered her options. Yep. That was what she would do. For now, she needed to take her time and plan. Ivie gradually drifted off to sleep.

24./ Osaze was unsure of what to do after Ivie left the kitchen. He sat on one of the bar stools in the breakfast nook with his arms folded. He inhaled deeply, absently noting that he could still smell Ivie on his fingers, could still taste her on his tongue. Damn.

25./ He’d effed up big-time. Nevertheless, she had to be joking if she expected him to leave the house. Or was she serious? No way. His marriage was too important. Moving out would solve nothing. How would they talk things over?

Definitely, things needed to be talked over.

26./ Definitely, things needed to be talked over. It would only make matters fester for longer if he left. In addition, his kids needed him. He needed them as well. Osaze knew he was flawed.

27./ His major flaw was his lack of control over his desire for the spice of variety bedding different women offered. Could he quit this habit? He didn’t know. He had tried not to start, but since he began, he’d never tried to quit.

28./His efforts were directed towards not getting caught. But he knew that he loved his family and didn’t want to lose them. He was willing to try although he doubted that he would succeed. No. Moving out wasn’t the answer. At best, he would temporarily move to the guest bedroom,

29./ but he was staying here. They were going to deal with this. He looked at his wristwatch. It was going on 11a.m. He had to rush off and hope the traffic wasn’t heavy. He also hoped that the client he was meeting made it all worthwhile. This client was the genesis of his woes.

30./ It was the client’s message which he’d been expecting that had made Ivie pick up his phone in the first instance. He rubbed the face of his watch absently while his thoughts roamed. This watch evoked poignant memories.

31./ It was a silver-coloured, steel Omega watch gifted to him by Ivie on their 5th anniversary. It wasn’t the most expensive watch he owned, but to him, it was priceless. 

It was a sacrificial gift. She wasn’t earning as much at the time she bought it as she did now.

32./ She had gifted it to him in a customised mahogany box and had gone to great lengths to explain that the 5th anniversary was also called the wood anniversary. Wood because it symbolised the strength of the marriage bond built thus far.

33./ The intrinsic characteristic of wood being its durability, it epitomized a strong relationship. She had chosen watch in silver because the contemporary gift for the 5th anniversary is silverware and since she couldn’t very well gift him silverware,

34./ she chose to include the colour silver in his gift. The essence of the silverware was that it served as a reminder of the connection they must have built in those years of marriage through shared meals with each other and their children.

35./ Ivie’s attention to detail was a real turn-on in addition to being an asset which had enriched their lives and saved him on several occasions when he overlooked important details. She told him she bought him the watch because she wanted him to know

36./ that she had faith in his dreams and she knew that he would not always wear the functional Japanese brands he favoured at the time. She was right. Things had kept on improving. He could have had it easier.

37./ His father had offered to ease his path with additional capital and support, but he’d declined. He assured his father that it was sufficient to know he had the safety-net of his support, but he preferred to go it alone, with the assurance that he had a fallback position.

38./ His father told him he was proud of him and agreed to do things his way. Ironically, shortly after she gave him that watch, he had his first affair. Perhaps he really was the bastard she called him.

39./ Ivie’s eyes drifted open as she woke from a fitful sleep. Almost at once, she was assailed by memories of the reason she was at home in the middle of a workday. Hot on the heels of her already painful recollections, a series of troubling thoughts crowded in: 
“Who is she?

40./ “What is she like?”  
“What does she have that I don’t?” 
“What does she do that I don’t?”  
Objectively, she understood that every woman was different. Osaze wasn’t a virgin when they got together, she’d never asked for his body count.

41./ Yet, it hadn’t been in doubt that he had been with other women. But he chose her. Why couldn’t he stay faithful? Was expecting fidelity asking for too much? She had never been a proponent of the men are polygamous by nature school of thought.

42./ Ivie began to get mad all over again. She wanted to smash something.  She was boiling with pent-up rage. Polygamous! It was maddening. Who said she wasn’t polygamous by nature? Who said she hadn’t been tempted to try out other men? Ivie couldn’t lie in bed any longer.

43./ She jumped out of bed and began to pace. She wanted to punch Osaze, but she’d done that in the kitchen and that hadn’t brought her any relief or answers. She wanted to find that woman whoever she was; wherever she was. She wanted to call her up. Rain verbal abuse on her.

44./ Call her names. Names she deserved to be called. Husband-snatcher. Home-wrecker. If she laid eyes on that bitch, she would give her a few well-deserved slaps as well. Beat her up and teach her NEVER to go near her husband.   
At that point, the tears came again.

45./ Ivie knew she would do nothing of the sort. First, she wasn’t that sort of person. Even if she was, she had a morbid fear of publicity. In these days when everyone and their wife owned a camera phone;

46./ she would end up on a blog as one of those sad women who confronted side-chicks.  Plus, if she was true to herself, something told her that the lady wasn’t some Delilah who seduced Osaze. Osaze was probably a David who moved hell and high water to ensnare Bathsheba.

48./ At the very least, they shared a mutual attraction. Life was so unfair.

Men got away with murder. Would Osaze have been understanding or forgiving if the shoe was on the other foot? Maybe she should also cheat on him. She had her fair share of men,

49./ some of whom were her peers, some older, others younger who made passes at her. She knew she wasn’t unattractive. She shrugged off the shortie, baby-pink satin dressing gown she had fallen asleep in and stood before the full-length mirror to appraise herself critically.”

50./ Damn you Osaze!” She whispered to herself. “After 2 children, I’m still smoking hot!” 

Yes, perhaps, that was what was needed. He should experience first-hand what the agony of betrayal felt like.

51./ She didn’t think it was a pain anyone who hadn’t experienced it would be able to relate to. People often talked about the way they would react in this situation. Ivie laughed bitterly. So many were emphatic that they would kick their partners to the kerb. Here she was.

52./ Proof that it wasn’t a 2 + 2 = 4 Equation. What few people talked about was the numbing pain and the shock you experienced. They didn’t talk about the sense of loss, of something irreparably damaged.

53./ They didn’t tell you about the overwhelming desire to “un-know what you now knew, to return to the innocence of ignorance. They didn’t talk about that. All people said was that they wouldn’t take it and they would dump a cheating partner.

54./ They made it seem like staying implied that you were weak and foolish. Ivie shook her head and laughed bitterly. Was it weakness, strength or fear that made her hesitate to leave?

55./ Was it selfishness to think that such a decision should be made with only her needs taken into consideration? Should she really care that the children would miss him? Leaving him didn’t mean she would cut him off from their lives, they would continue to see their father.

56./ It was a move for self-preservation.    
Leaving was still on her mind. But it was easier said than done. If she stayed, she didn’t think it could ever be the same again between them. Something had been damaged irrevocably.

57./ As far as she was concerned, their marriage was now divided into the pre-discovery phase and from today, the post-discovery phase.  

Post-discovery was uncharted territory. She would feel her way along carefully in order to discover what worked for her.

58./ Hadn’t she found herself responding to him a few hours ago? But he had broken something in her irretrievably. Yet, she wasn’t certain that it would be fixed by parting ways. They shared too much. Their lives were too intertwined. Did she want someone else?

59./ Or did she want no one? Was she strong enough or even willing to gamble on another person? She didn’t have any answers. But she knew one thing. Stay or leave, she wouldn’t be happy if she didn’t punish him. This couldn’t be swept away with an apology.

60./ She had to do something to level the playing field... something... something to help heal her broken heart, something to give her strength to go on.... Time would tell. This was not over yet. Not by a long shot. 
 
The End