Last day curating this account! Thank you for your attention and wonderful feedback so far!
I’m planning to close out with this thread about my journey through academia/astrophysics and into tech/DS, then another about some observations between academia and tech industry.
I’m planning to close out with this thread about my journey through academia/astrophysics and into tech/DS, then another about some observations between academia and tech industry.
https://twitter.com/realscientists/status/1372901544543277060
Prologue:
I did "well" in courses in undergrad. I took ~7 graduate level physics courses, graduated with high honors, worked in a lab.
But I was NOT prepared for academia.
I did "well" in courses in undergrad. I took ~7 graduate level physics courses, graduated with high honors, worked in a lab.
But I was NOT prepared for academia.
Chapter 1: grad school (1st attempt)
The first PhD program I went to was… a mess. It was about 80-90% men, which is typical of physics programs, and most of the men had a drinking problem. (In retrospect, me, too.)
The first PhD program I went to was… a mess. It was about 80-90% men, which is typical of physics programs, and most of the men had a drinking problem. (In retrospect, me, too.)
One welcome event for prospective (admitted + uncommitted) students was a department-sponsored happy hour where many of the current grad students got blackout drunk, and that should have been a warning. (I partied my fair share, so I probably thought it was cool.)
3 things happened.
One, it was clear I was NOT prepared to do a research project in theory. I didn’t have the self-discipline (skipped most of my classes in undergrad), didn’t know how to start, didn’t know what was good progress. I was good at coursework and not much else.
One, it was clear I was NOT prepared to do a research project in theory. I didn’t have the self-discipline (skipped most of my classes in undergrad), didn’t know how to start, didn’t know what was good progress. I was good at coursework and not much else.
Two, at the time my department was losing several high-profile faculty to places like MIT, Princeton, Harvard. That included a potential advisor—the one a mentor told me, if I can work with them, go to this program but otherwise stay at my undergrad institution.
Three, many of my friends who were a year ahead of me were forced out of the program. No funding, they said.
Their grades were fine, they were good TAs (which had paid their stipend up to that point). But they had to go begging other departments for a transfer. Most left.
Their grades were fine, they were good TAs (which had paid their stipend up to that point). But they had to go begging other departments for a transfer. Most left.
I always had a bit of a rebellious streak, so I said “EFF. This.” I left after that first year. They handed me a Master’s on my way out.
I had found that I loved to teach—from my TA work, and work in a summer science program for HS students.
I was raw, I didn't know a thing about equity and inclusion, but I had discovered that I could connect with people when I spoke about science.
I was raw, I didn't know a thing about equity and inclusion, but I had discovered that I could connect with people when I spoke about science.
Chapter 2: the real world
Hoo boy. I had nothing lined up. I was clueless.
I found myself working for commission selling mutual funds. None of my friends could or cared about investing for retirement or a house, so I was broke. Skipping meals, going into credit card debt.
Hoo boy. I had nothing lined up. I was clueless.
I found myself working for commission selling mutual funds. None of my friends could or cared about investing for retirement or a house, so I was broke. Skipping meals, going into credit card debt.
And I was just so bored. I found myself reading arXiv (where scientists post their pre-published work) on my lunch breaks.
Maybe I ought to give this academia thing another try?
Maybe I ought to give this academia thing another try?
No luck. I applied to a few PhD programs and didn’t get in anywhere. I was stuck out here.
Then, two small miracles.
One: a professor at Columbia took an interest in my situation, and said “We couldn’t accept you, but I have a little money for a part-time assistant if you want to work with me.”
The other: on a work trip, I met the person who I'd marry.
One: a professor at Columbia took an interest in my situation, and said “We couldn’t accept you, but I have a little money for a part-time assistant if you want to work with me.”
The other: on a work trip, I met the person who I'd marry.
Chapter 3: New York, New York
(Well, now it occurs to me that I work for a serial fiction company and finding myself doing an impromptu serialized thread on my career. I had thought about sharing my journey, but hadn’t planned, nor have I before, shared at this level of detail.)
(Well, now it occurs to me that I work for a serial fiction company and finding myself doing an impromptu serialized thread on my career. I had thought about sharing my journey, but hadn’t planned, nor have I before, shared at this level of detail.)
So me and my new love moved to Manhattan together.
Our first apartment was a vermin-infested, ground-floor apartment on Broadway and 193rd where the bodega next door blasted music until 3 AM (and later got shut down for selling drugs).
Our first apartment was a vermin-infested, ground-floor apartment on Broadway and 193rd where the bodega next door blasted music until 3 AM (and later got shut down for selling drugs).
I worked 2-4 other jobs, including as a science editor for a test-prep publisher, and a program manager for a startup managing after-school programs for No Child Left Behind.
And my new academic job was… lovely.
My supervisor gave me detailed feedback, told me what to read, explained the context. Taught me how to use his code (in Fortran 77 lmao). I was learning, I was actually creating new knowledge.
My supervisor gave me detailed feedback, told me what to read, explained the context. Taught me how to use his code (in Fortran 77 lmao). I was learning, I was actually creating new knowledge.
Other faculty were friendly.
And the students were happy*. It was a point of pride for the dept chair that they'd always found funding solutions for PhD students.
(* I mean, they were all dealing w grad school shit, but it was way better than my prev stop.)
And the students were happy*. It was a point of pride for the dept chair that they'd always found funding solutions for PhD students.
(* I mean, they were all dealing w grad school shit, but it was way better than my prev stop.)
Then things started to work out. We published a paper (my first paper and my first first-author paper).
The dept. accepted me into the next cohort in their PhD program.
So here I was, back in grad school again. But so much had changed.
The dept. accepted me into the next cohort in their PhD program.
So here I was, back in grad school again. But so much had changed.
I should pause here to point out that through all this, I was growing up. I know it's not great to call privileged 20-somethings "kids," but I was a very childish man who was learning to become a better colleague, a more humble student, and a good partner.
Early academia, and the first job(s) after college, are also times when we learn things about ourselves. It's not easy. I was fortunate to have the time and space to do that.
So for the folks early in their journeys: be kind to yourselves and to each other.
So for the folks early in their journeys: be kind to yourselves and to each other.
Chapter 4: Research is HARD!
I started a new project w another professor. It took me a while to write the code for the new project, but when I finally did, we wrote a massive paper together on Monte Carlo simulations for the generation of the first supermassive black holes.
I started a new project w another professor. It took me a while to write the code for the new project, but when I finally did, we wrote a massive paper together on Monte Carlo simulations for the generation of the first supermassive black holes.
(My coauthor lovingly calls it “one of the classic papers on the subject” and I’ll always have that. Dunno if it's true, but I'm proud I made a mentor proud.)
Students in Columbia astro do two one-year research projects before moving onto PhD candidacy. Between my other grad-level coursework and my paper as a pre-student assistant, I was now deemed ready to be a PhD candidate.
Oh but was I, really? (Narrator: CACKLES.)
Oh but was I, really? (Narrator: CACKLES.)
I was to have 2 PhD advisors: the two coauthors on my papers so far.
My thesis was to be on light signatures of merging supermassive black holes—at the time a relatively unexplored topic.
And let me tell you, dear reader, I was STUCK and CLUELESS once again.
My thesis was to be on light signatures of merging supermassive black holes—at the time a relatively unexplored topic.
And let me tell you, dear reader, I was STUCK and CLUELESS once again.
(Oh, a personal detail—by this time, between the two papers, I got married.)
Two things helped get me unstuck.
One was that I had taken a part-time job teaching physics at a private high school. It gave me two important things:
One was that I had taken a part-time job teaching physics at a private high school. It gave me two important things:
(i) catharsis of sharing and talking about science. Seeing young people’s eyes light up when I explained particle motion behind temperature or the “Little Green Men” anecdote of pulsars. And (ii) it made me realize that if this PhD thing doesn’t work out, I could be a teacher.
That helped me relax. A lot, actually. I had things other than research that I could enjoy and earn a living.
The other thing that got me unstuck was one of my coadvisors giving me a pep talk in his office.
Two simple sentences that changed my life: "You're a good student. I think you just need to take ownership of your projects."
Two simple sentences that changed my life: "You're a good student. I think you just need to take ownership of your projects."
So I just… started trying shit.
I started applying old-school approaches to calculating the flow of gas around black holes. Not simulations, but simplistic models applying assumptions and approximations.
I had an interesting result, then a plot, then like 6 plots.
I started applying old-school approaches to calculating the flow of gas around black holes. Not simulations, but simplistic models applying assumptions and approximations.
I had an interesting result, then a plot, then like 6 plots.
Advisors: "This is a paper."
I was unstuck. Sent in the manuscript.
(Turns out we may have "scooped" a prominent name in the field, as they published a similar manuscript a few days after us.)
I was unstuck. Sent in the manuscript.
(Turns out we may have "scooped" a prominent name in the field, as they published a similar manuscript a few days after us.)
It was a new result in a relatively new subtopic, so I started getting emails.
Fast forward—in the ~18 months after the "unstuck" paper, I wrote a few others, landed a postdoc at the Max Planck for Astrophysics in Munich, and defended my PhD.
Fast forward—in the ~18 months after the "unstuck" paper, I wrote a few others, landed a postdoc at the Max Planck for Astrophysics in Munich, and defended my PhD.
I should note the importance of networking—in academia and esp in tech.
My boss-to-be in Munich visited NY for a prize lecture when I was on the market. He likes one of my advisors & his work. I think the recommendation—not the letter but the one given in person—carried weight.
My boss-to-be in Munich visited NY for a prize lecture when I was on the market. He likes one of my advisors & his work. I think the recommendation—not the letter but the one given in person—carried weight.
(My household is waking up so this may turn into a true serialized memoir lol)
Interlude: Japan
The interruption made me realize that I have a pattern of visiting my home country (until age 8) at significant transitions in my career. But not by plan nor choice!
The interruption made me realize that I have a pattern of visiting my home country (until age 8) at significant transitions in my career. But not by plan nor choice!
I visited Japan on a whim right before leaving my first PhD program. I was frustrated, angry, and the trip gave me time to reflect, and made me more at ease with my decision to do something different.
I headed to Japan right after defending my PhD. I had an NSF grad student grant to do summer research in Kyoto (my home city). I was there with other young scientists, and got to help them discover the country.
It was also another introspective opportunity.
I had almost accepted a postdoc at the Kavli Institute outside Tokyo. I was thinking about where home was going to be for me and partner.
I had almost accepted a postdoc at the Kavli Institute outside Tokyo. I was thinking about where home was going to be for me and partner.
The institute invited me to give a talk. So I went, and there in Japan I happened to meet the new incoming director of my postdoc home in Munich. (The institute has multiple directors, including my postdoc boss.)
We kicked it off right away. Went to karaoke, missed the last train, partied until the first train. We'd have many more drinks in Munich.
He'd be one of few Japanese friends I had in academia—or in any context.
He'd be one of few Japanese friends I had in academia—or in any context.
This was also the summer after the Fukushima earthquake. Everyone was saving electricity. Hundreds of thousands of people were displaced or relocating. We were still learning about the fallout.
I teared up several times a week at the news coming from the region. Lots to process.
I teared up several times a week at the news coming from the region. Lots to process.
Japan makes one more appearance in this story. But for now, my partner and I were on our way to Europe.
Chapter 5: Munich
Munich is a beautiful—stunning, even—orderly city at the foot of the Bavarian Alps.
There, I found research freedom and success, countless escapes to the English Garden (the largest public park in a Western European city—our golden retriever LOVED it)…
Munich is a beautiful—stunning, even—orderly city at the foot of the Bavarian Alps.
There, I found research freedom and success, countless escapes to the English Garden (the largest public park in a Western European city—our golden retriever LOVED it)…
I also, through my new friend & senior colleague, connected with a Japanese community for the first time in my adult life.
Casual baseball games in the parks (and biergartenzeit afterward), gatherings at our go-to izakaya hangout.
Casual baseball games in the parks (and biergartenzeit afterward), gatherings at our go-to izakaya hangout.
We traveled a lot. My boss let me go anywhere as long as I was presenting or collaborating. He also trusted me to work on any topic I found interesting.
Berlin, Amsterdam, Madrid, Sevilla, Trieste, Milan, Turku, Beijing, Atlanta. Vacations to Paris, Salzburg, Florence, Granada…
Berlin, Amsterdam, Madrid, Sevilla, Trieste, Milan, Turku, Beijing, Atlanta. Vacations to Paris, Salzburg, Florence, Granada…
It was a great 3 years for me as a paper-writer. But as a unit, my partner and I were unhappy in Europe.
So when it came time for the next postdoc, we chose to go back to the familiar comforts of New York.
My academic career was about to end.
So when it came time for the next postdoc, we chose to go back to the familiar comforts of New York.
My academic career was about to end.
Chapter 6: New York (despair)
My next postdoc was also the result of networking. I began to collaborate with a professor visiting Munich, and we developed a mutual interested in my doing a postdoc with her.
My next postdoc was also the result of networking. I began to collaborate with a professor visiting Munich, and we developed a mutual interested in my doing a postdoc with her.
She had creative solutions for competing w my other offers: a dual appointment w another university (where 2nd boss/collaborator would pay another ~$10k in wages), & I'd have additional title of "research professor"—which meant that meant I could stay if I could get grants.
(An aside on compensation—this meant I'd be making somewhere in the $60k range total, after all the creativity to get close to other offers in the $70k range. At this time, I didn't fully appreciate the gross disparity in pay between academia and industry.)
All seemed great, until I found out I wasn't.
I was burned out. I had written 5 or 6 first-author papers in the prev year, traveled the globe to present and promote my work, and I still felt overlooked.
I was burned out. I had written 5 or 6 first-author papers in the prev year, traveled the globe to present and promote my work, and I still felt overlooked.
(Oh the "your English is so good" comments I'd get in Europe! Tell me more about how little you think of me when you see my name or appearance!)
I was sick and tired of applying to temporary jobs every year, and working my ass off to "prove" to people I deserved to be a professor.
I was tired of not knowing where I'd be in 2-3 years.
I was tired of not knowing where I'd be in 2-3 years.
I was also dealing with illnesses in the family, I struggled to adjust to a new (2+ hour) commute.
So my productivity dropped. My bosses were concerned, then frustrated.
So my productivity dropped. My bosses were concerned, then frustrated.
I left my office to rest and work from home, after a morning fire alarm triggered migraines—a light sensitivity that I've dealt with all my life.
My boss at the 2nd university came to work afterward and didn't see me. He emailed me to ask where I was.
My boss at the 2nd university came to work afterward and didn't see me. He emailed me to ask where I was.
When I explained what happened, he said I'd be fired the next time I wasn't in my chair by 9 AM, and that I was to check with him before leaving the office. So now I needed permission to go to a coffee shop with an old colleague.
All over ~$10k/year in pay.
All over ~$10k/year in pay.
(… for what turned out to be an illicit arrangement. My main university couldn't know about the extra pay from the second, or everyone could get in trouble.)
I. was. so. 🎶done🎶.
I had gone from total freedom to toxic micromanagement, from feeling overlooked to mistreated.
I quit the second appointment not too long afterward, then basically ran out the clock on my primary appointment.
I had gone from total freedom to toxic micromanagement, from feeling overlooked to mistreated.
I quit the second appointment not too long afterward, then basically ran out the clock on my primary appointment.
I was burned out. I wasn't going to get good recommendations from these folks—to be fair: due in no small part to my drop in productivity. I did contribute to a few papers as the Nth author, but mostly checked out and disinterested.
I was giving up.
I was giving up.
My last semester in academia, they announced the discovery of gravitational waves—a Nobel feat central to to my research (I'm a coauthor on a white paper for a next-generation GW detector).
As the auditorium celebrated, I smiled.
I was ultra happy for the science & the people behind it (many of whom I knew).
But I knew I was gone. I didn't have another academic position lined up, and didn't much care to try to find one.
I was ultra happy for the science & the people behind it (many of whom I knew).
But I knew I was gone. I didn't have another academic position lined up, and didn't much care to try to find one.
Chapter 7: A new career
During my final month in academia, I turned 35. I still had no concrete idea what I was going to do. Maybe… quant work in finance? I had heard about that (and had sold mutual funds for a "living" once).
Guess what saved me? Yup—my network.
During my final month in academia, I turned 35. I still had no concrete idea what I was going to do. Maybe… quant work in finance? I had heard about that (and had sold mutual funds for a "living" once).
Guess what saved me? Yup—my network.
A personal acquaintance introduced me to a dean at CornellTech, who gave me the lay of the land in industry opportunities for ex-STEM-academics.
He told me about this thing called "data science," what to think about when considering career paths & specific positions, about this boot camp called Insight that helped people like me (PhDs with academic experience who could use some formal tech training) land industry jobs.
So there I was, a middle-aged, burned out academic teaching myself Python (after using mostly Fortran), basically giving myself a crash course in machine learning.
I got an Insight interview, then a spot at the 3-month boot camp.
I got an Insight interview, then a spot at the 3-month boot camp.
I started the boot camp the day after MLK Jr. Day in 2017. By March, I had interviewed at several companies. Through the bootcamp, I had made lasting friendships and vastly expanded my network.
Things were looking up.
Things were looking up.
Remember that I said I'd go to Japan one more time in this story.
My grandmother was dying of cancer. My last living grandparent, and the one I was closest to.
I got on a plane to Tokyo.
My grandmother was dying of cancer. My last living grandparent, and the one I was closest to.
I got on a plane to Tokyo.
I got to see her in her home, in bed. She was shocked. She had told me not to come.
(I stayed with my parents, who were former doctors and had returned to practice medicine again—in part to help with the doctor shortages in Fukushima following the exodus of young people.)
(I stayed with my parents, who were former doctors and had returned to practice medicine again—in part to help with the doctor shortages in Fukushima following the exodus of young people.)
One of the companies where I'd interviewed was trying to reach me. They wanted to talk to me on the phone.
After some phone & email tag, we connected across a 13-hour time difference.
After some phone & email tag, we connected across a 13-hour time difference.
I had my first full-time job offer in industry, as a data scientist at the NY office of a consulting firm.
I went to my grandmother's funeral a day or two later. I was the only grandchild she saw in her final months.
I blinked and I was back in New York. I had a new career.
I went to my grandmother's funeral a day or two later. I was the only grandchild she saw in her final months.
I blinked and I was back in New York. I had a new career.
Afterword
Wow. I didn't plan to share so much in this thread. It just came out, but I also feel that the personal details are relevant.
Wow. I didn't plan to share so much in this thread. It just came out, but I also feel that the personal details are relevant.
We've all dealt with shit in our lives & careers.
I feel like all the great things I got to do in academia, and all the BS I put up with, contributed to making me the person that I am today. e.g. I like to believe that my bad experiences with bosses help make me a better boss.
I feel like all the great things I got to do in academia, and all the BS I put up with, contributed to making me the person that I am today. e.g. I like to believe that my bad experiences with bosses help make me a better boss.
And having had a chance to reflect this morning, I realize once again how much luck and privilege I've had to land on my feet. I had a ton of good advice and helping hands and generosity and people who took a chance on me.
Please pay it forward if you're in a position to do so.
Please pay it forward if you're in a position to do so.
And I also realized… wow there's some trauma there, huh? Academia is very much a traumatic experience. Less/more for some but still.
At its best it's a fountain of new knowledge and intellectual pursuit and personal+collaborative growth. At its worst it's an abusive paper mill.
At its best it's a fountain of new knowledge and intellectual pursuit and personal+collaborative growth. At its worst it's an abusive paper mill.
I worked at the consulting firm for a bit less than 2 years, then joined WW ("WeightWatchers reimagined") to start a new data team.
COVID upended those plans, and (again) personal connections led me to Radish, where I've been since July.
COVID upended those plans, and (again) personal connections led me to Radish, where I've been since July.
And it's been great. The whole journey. Again—I've been very, very lucky and privileged.
If I have time today before my time on this account ends, I'll try to do another (shorter, I promise!) thread about some observations in the difference between academia vs the tech industry.
If I have time today before my time on this account ends, I'll try to do another (shorter, I promise!) thread about some observations in the difference between academia vs the tech industry.
For those considering switching from academia to data science / tech, the pinned thread on my personal account is a guide that I do my best to share and maintain.
https://twitter.com/astrobassball/status/1284285509565644801
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