Thread by @theBuoyantMan

Becoming wealthy and free is often a matter of hard work. But doing it peacefully is a matter of luck.

When you're single: Your parents and how they treat you, how your equation with them is - will largely impact how you do in life.

When you're married:

Your equation with your spouse, her equation with your parents, your equation with her parents, and her parents' equation with your parents and vice versa, all of these things will impact your life.

If you're a man, no matter what happens anywhere, ultimately everything and everyone end up smashing your head only.

So, to be able to work and take pressure/stress at work, it's important to have peace at home.

If that's not available, journey is 10x harder.

And it's often a matter of luck.

Having a good equation with in laws, them having a good equation with your parents, your wife having a good equation with your parents, and your parents gelling well with her parents, it's so convoluted that sometimes you end up feeling squeezed.

The best thing you can do is mentally resign and ignore all this to a separate zone which is like the least priority.

But then, since you come home to such things, it's un-ignorable. At least not for long.

Happy and good - status is fine.
Grim and bad - usually bursts big.

As a man, you have to please your parents without making them feel like you're pleasing your wife's parents more.

You also have to please your wife's parents without making your parents feel like you're not giving them any attention.

You then have to please your wife also to make sure your equation with your parents-in-law is fine. Coz if she is displeased, no matter how pleasing you are to them, they will always find some issue with you.

You also have to deal with your parents and please them in case your wife doesn't please them enough.

If they say something out of a snap, your wife will bring it to you.

If your wife says something about you to her parents, they will bring it to you.

If your wife says something in response to your parents snapping, your parents will bring it to you.

You can not EVER take sides.

If you support your wife when your parents complain, you are a wife-supporter.

If you support your parents when your wife complains, she'll say "why did you even marry then? You could have been single and lived with them only."

If your in-laws tell something to you that you're offended with, you can't respond back in kind.

Then for five-ten days, it would be loud vessel sounds at home which will eventually make you snap further.

Most men who get wealthy have either of these two things.

1) A supportive family that gels well in all fronts
2) An ability to ignore all the noise and just focus and consider all this family drama as outside his scope of improvement, in a stoic manner.

If you don't have the first, try to build the second. It takes some practice, experience, and skill. But it is definitely doable.

Just know that no matter the amount of money you earn, ultimately without a family to share with, it's not worth much.