Thread by @BenjLesLantz

How could a professor's lack of emotional intelligence result in suppression and trauma for students in the academic arena? What happens if a whole institution shares this lack of EQ?

Another 🧵 from my experience at @BCS_MN. A case study in two Scenes, with some screenshots.

Scene 1: In April 2020, I turned in what was essentially my capstone paper for seminary. The prompt for the paper was to answer the question, "What does the whole Bible say about _______?" And the fill-in-the-blank could be something related to ecclesiology, i.e., the church.

I wanted to write on the topic of "Women in Ministry." I had been thinking about that topic for +/- two years. The professor pre-approved my topic choice back in February, though he must have known that for a 3500-5000 word paper, I would have to be selective in what I included.

(Some fun facts about me: I'm an introvert, an internal processor, a Bible nerd, a literature-lover, and a writer. I was also Co-Valedictorian of my college's graduating class. Granted, I went to a really small Christian college. But I was Co-Val nonetheless.)

I tackled the topic and final paper with gusto. I read and researched and piled up my bibliography and made copious notes before writing the paper. I crafted and cut and edited and had others look over drafts and fine-tuned my paper over the course of about 50 hours of writing.

I attempted to do my due diligence because a) I wanted to be fair and irenic in tone, and b) I knew no one at my seminary would agree with my thesis, and c) I knew my professor would put me through the ringer.

That said, I was proud of the content of paper in its final form.

But I was not prepared for how my prof would grade my paper.

I combed over his grading comments again today, and I tell you what: I still find his comments somewhat traumatizing.

His first substantial comment is this one, on my thesis.
Note: I never self-described my paper by the terms "evangelical feminism" or "egalitarianism." But he slapped those labels on it.
And almost immediately he moves from dealing with my thesis to dealing with me as a person.

He says that he wishes I would have brought up my views in class (even though I'm an internal processor and it takes a long time for me to decide what I think), or talked to him in private about the topic (as if I had sinned against him and needed to confess something?)

Can I say that I didn't talk to him about the topic personally because I knew he was not a safe person to have a conversation with about this topic? Over four years I'd seen him intimidate and bully countless students. His M.O. was to argue students into submission or silence.

He was bursting with emotions, and yet he struck me as having a very low EQ. He would express his emotions in destructive ways in a variety of classrooms and with dozens of students. I experienced it. I saw him embarrass others. I later heard stories from other students.

So I knew he was not a safe person to talk with about this divisive topic. It was instinctively clear to me that he would not engage discussion there in good faith.

And his grading comments on my capstone paper proved my instincts right.

That comment on my thesis really foreshadows the rest of his comments:

He called part of my paper a "copout."
[Narrator: "It was not a copout." I was literally summarizing Scripture.]

He called another part "sloppy" without giving substantive corrections to my argument.

And don't get me wrong, I welcome critical feedback. I want to get better at knowing and communicating. I appreciate constructive wrestling in an academic setting. But these comments were not constructive at all. The comments became increasingly terse and unhelpful. E.g., this:

I will grant that he found several formatting errors and typos in my paper. But I had to search quite hard to find him saying anything constructive re: my argument. The most cutting comment in the paper is (arguably) when I restate my thesis at the end of my paper and he says:

So aggressive. A version of academic gaslighting. He does not deal at all with the clarity or argument of my thesis in this comment, but he can't go away without a parting shot at it. How is this comment worthy of a professor? How could any prof make this comment to a student?

If these comments from the prof feel strangely personal and non-academic to you, well, that's exactly how they feel to me! And the kicker is when he grades my paper and offers a *brief* paragraph of feedback.

I've "deeply disappointed" him.

Side note: I've never received a 75 on a paper. Ever. I don't remember ever getting below a B on any paper in college or seminary. And this seemed off.

Just to be sure I wasn't trippin' about how this specific prof graded me here, I shared my full paper with several academics.

Several academics *outside* of @BCS_MN that is. All of them have graded graduate-level Bible papers. One of them is a very prominent NT scholar. They all said they would have given me an A for this paper. Then I show them my prof's comments and grade. They've all been horrified.

I could say more, but that pretty much wraps up Scene 1.

Scene 2 starts when the prof's comments on my paper go to the Deans @BCS_MN, as part of a reconciliation or resolution process between the prof and I. (I've tweeted about this process elsewhere. See my pinned tweets.)

Wonder of wonders, the Deans at BCS do not see issues with how the prof graded my paper. I gave them the paper with the comments. I told them what I found troubling about it. And they completely wrote it off. They did not acknowledge any problem with how the prof graded my paper.

All this to say: a lack of empathy and EQ *will* work itself into the classroom, and *will* infect a whole academic institution given enough time. I saw it. And I will die on the hill of promoting the work of @scotmcknight, @laurambarringer, @wademullen, @BozT, and @DianeLangberg

Sure, academia is known to be rigorous. But I for one am holding out a hope that a seminary can be rigorous and yet not toxic. I'm also holding onto a fear that if men come into BCS or another seminary and imbibe toxicity and then go out and pastor churches, the damage is done.

We've had so many church scandals and narcissistic pastors. Shouldn't we look to a source, the seminaries, and see how to help stem the tide of toxicity and abuse there? I am able to laugh off a C grade from a prof who is obviously emotionally insecure.

But what about when those profs teach and mentor men to be insecure pastors? When those pastors go and spiritually, or physically, abuse their sheep? The stakes are much, much higher. Things at @BCS_MN and other seminaries have to change.

And they have to change right now.