I had a chance to go back & read through the comments on this entirely. Im so fortunate to have so many folks reach out with a word or thought. Thank you all so, so much. Each day is a minefield right now but I often find comfort in the kindness people share with me in my grief.
I am still processing what went on for the last 2 years. I really did not realize how hard we went, how much we struggled, how brutalizing the fight was. We were so in the thick of it, motivated to beat it and clinging to love. I realize only now how dogged the battle was.
I will probably never not be angry about her getting cancer. But eventually the anger will cool and it will give way to other things.
For now, I miss her more than I thought humanly possible. But I am truly relieved she isn't suffering anymore. She did not deserve that.
This is the woman I remember. Boy did she tear it up with me in the Keys for her birthday that year. Be well everyone. Hug those you love. Life is short! I'll be back soon. And thanks again.
One thing I know for sure: We left nothing unsaid.
Sharing this personal note I wrote to my mother in 2015 in sincere hope it moves you to tell the people you love how you feel while they are here. Dont waste time.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
I know this cancer is going to take her in the end, and I have never seen a person fight as hard. But when she goes, it won't be because the cancer "won." It never altered the core of who she is. Not one day. It is a thief, a charlatan. But a victor complete? No.
I see a lot of people on here tweet about their own cancer journey or that of a family or friend's. It is a uniquely horrifying experience but I somehow find comfort knowing this club is full of people who share the pain, the frustration, the fear, and the anger.
I think I will never not be angry about her getting sick. Its hard to communicate to people outside of this experience or unfamiliar with it, how very deep that pain flows.
So many of you with a kind message, a thoughtful word, a donation, all that -- you softened the blows.
Rep. Jackson Lee, at today's hearing on rise of domestic terrorism in the US and speaking of the continued presence of white supremacist threats, holds up this image from Jan. 6. There's no question what was intended here, she says. "We all know what this is meant to say."
The very next round of questions at today's hearing on the rise of domestic terrorism began w/Rep Andy Biggs of AZ asking panelist Andy Ngo about the threat of "antifa violence." He did not address 1/6 violence after Jackson Lee's initial q's.
More later for @CourthouseNews
At 10AM ET, the House Judiciary Subcmte on Courts meets to discuss "The Need for New Lower Court Judgeships, 30 Years in the Making."
I will have the report for @CourthouseNews.
The witness list for today's hearing on the need for new lower court judgeships:
An update.
As I write this I am getting ready to relieve the nighttime caregiver that all of you who donated helped me hire for a couple days each week. I would have been squeezing in winks in a chair next to her in home hospital bed (thank you hospice) otherwise. As for her...
She's getting near the end. We all know this in my family, including her. With the level of pain she is enduring and has endured, there will be some relief in knowing when this is over, as much as it will shatter me, she won't be suffering so intensely. She doesn't deserve that.
Because of all of you, Ive been able to help her so much more than I could have done alone. Medicine, diapers, nutritional needs, even the ability to hire a person to help me physically lift her these last 2 weeks from one side of her bed to another...you don't know what it means
Today at 10AM ET, the Senate Rules and Senate Homeland Security committees convene for a joint oversight hearing on the security failures at the Capitol on 1/6. Witnesses below. Story later for @CourthouseNews.
What's on the menu today? Senators will zero in on the role of Cap security leadership during the siege. Sund, the former US Capitol police chief as well as Irving and Stenger - the House and Senate sergeant at arms respectively - each resigned after the attack. @CourthouseNews
I'll be off this week as we continue to get mom's care sorted out.
That said, what we are doing this wk would have been literally impossible w/o everyone's kindness and generosity, including getting overnight help a couple times this week so I can sleep more than 2hrs a night.♥️
I tried to go through each donation and say thanks in the last week or so but it has been difficult to start one thing, even simple, and finish it. If I havent said thank you individually: please know I really am grateful. I hope one day your compassion is rewarded & returned.
I should also note how lucky I am to have an employer who has been supportive of my time and needs. Its part of why I dont mind burning midnight oil when I do! If you enjoy my reporting and you haven't told your friends about @CourthouseNews I hope you will.