Thread by @sarahsalviander

Top twenty tips for turning Christian children into atheist adults

(An excerpt from my book.*)

There is a special type of atheist that deserves your attention. These atheists were raised in Christian families, and walked away from their faith almost as soon as they left their…

…homes. Many of them are quite bitter about it. In speaking with these atheists, I noticed certain patterns popping up again and again. Things their parents said or didn’t say, things their Sunday school teachers told them, things their families modeled for them, issues their…

…pastors didn’t address. These adult-child interactions were so spiritually detrimental it was as though these parents and pastors were consulting a manual on how to turn Christian children into atheist adults. If such a manual existed, it would read something like this.

1. When your children ask difficult questions–especially questions you don’t know how to answer–just tell them God works in mysterious ways and leave it at that.

2. Resist the urge to ever say “I don’t know, let’s look into that” to your children.

3. If your children persist in asking difficult questions, make them feel bad about not having enough faith.

4. If your children express doubts about Christianity, don’t discuss the reasons for their doubts. Just make them feel guilty about it.

5. Don’t encourage your children to pray for boring things like faith, wisdom, and obedience to God.

6. Avoid teaching or talking about science to your children.

7. Tell them science is a tool of the enemy.

8. Avoid talking about reasoned philosophical arguments for claims in the Bible.

9. Ignore Paul’s admonition to test everything. Teach your children that all philosophy is vain and deceptive.

10. Don’t make a regular family activity out of reading and discussing the Bible.

11. If you insist on studying the Bible as a family, make sure it’s as boring and confusing as possible.

12. Don’t encourage or teach your children how to study the Bible on their own.

13. Don’t discuss the basics of Christianity with your children. Assume they picked these up through osmosis.

14. Assume that a superficial understanding of the Bible is the only thing children need to be prepared for life in a world desperate to turn them away from their faith.

15. Assume that vacation Bible schools and mission trips alone will prepare your children for the relentless challenges to faith they’ll face in the world.

16. Don’t consult outside sources for help in preparing your children for life as adult Christians. Avoid apologetics.

17. Focus on God’s perfect love and forgiveness, but not on sin and God’s perfect justice. Make sure your children know Jesus was a really nice man who tolerated everyone.

18. Focus on sin and God’s justice, but not on God’s love and forgiveness. Make sure your children feel like they have to work to earn salvation and God’s love.

19. Make Christian life seem as onerous and joyless as possible to your children. If it doesn’t feel miserable and empty, they’re doing it wrong.

20. Demonstrate to your children that you don’t take the Bible too seriously. Model for your children the idea that having faith in God and Jesus Christ means making no sacrifices, no difficult decisions, and no real efforts to defend their faith.

Obviously, your goal is not to make atheists out of your Christian children, but to strengthen their faith and make them impervious to attack. You won’t do this by underpreparing your children in their Christian lives and overprotecting them from exposure to the strategies and...

... tactics of their spiritual enemies.

Think of it this way. Many of you have children on sports teams. You wouldn’t tolerate a coach who failed to prepare your children for competition. If a coach never made your children learn and practice the skills they needed to win,...

...you would find a new coach. If a coach avoided games against tough teams because he was afraid your children would be discouraged, you would complain that your children weren’t being prepared for the big game at the end of the season. But how many of you are letting this...

...happen to your children spiritually?

Whether in preparation for athletics, adult life, or the spiritual struggles they will face throughout their lives, children must be made ready for adversity. Christian parents and clergy are failing their children as badly as the worst...

...possible coaches when they leave young Christians defenseless for the religious battles they will eventually face.

You’re already reading this book, which means you’re aware of the challenges ahead and are motivated to help your children. Take heart. As the Bible tells us...

..., the war has already been won, all you have to do is claim the victory. This book, and the resources I recommend throughout, are designed to help you coach your children to do just that.

(* I'll be submitting the manuscript to the pub in a few months. 🤞)